DH burst through a locked door. In also to blame

[Burstdoor]

Just trying to get this all down fairly quickly after it has happened. I'm upstairs needing a quiet five mins and my head is all over the place.

Our son 3.5 is a poo witholder and it is particularly bad right now. I am absolutely exhausted right now, and I guess I'm just so fed up with the witholding that I just lost patience.

So I had DS on the toilet and I showed him the poo goes to pooland app. My son was getting upset even watching it because he would likely do a poo if he did. So he was crying and saying he wanted daddy. Usually we give him 10 mins of sitting time then take him off. But I felt DS was sooooo close to pooping that I went and locked the door so my husband couldn't come in and take our son off the toilet. Son was crying for daddy saying he wanted off. DH tried the door and found it to be locked. He told me to unlock it and I said no.
Next thing I know he has punched the door in and the sort of frame where the lock was joine to has broken off the doorway.
Obviously this was scary to DS who was crying a lot at this point. I took ds off the toilet and there was a bit of soft poop around his bum so got it cleaned but I'm so fucked off because clearly he was close to doing a full poo and this whole episode has fucked it now AND our son is confused as to why daddy broke the door.
We downplayed the whole thing and have said daddy is naughty. DH has apologised.
But I messaged my mum and she's just telling me both are in the wrong.
I feel like, yes my action of locking the door and refusing to unlock it wasn't great but that doesn't mean it's ok to fucking smash through it in desperation to get to DS?

You're the shit parent for not caring about your child. I hope your DH provided the love and care for your child that you were incapable of providing

😂😆😁you're some craic. Great storyteller.

Locked in the bathroom by themselves - yes, obviously, as my comment clearly said "unless someone is in serious danger." With their other parent, no, of course not.

He said Ds was smiling at DH when DH entered the bathroom as if the whole thing was quite amusing so I'm hoping that goes towards not traumatising him
Well if this update is true, it seems Dad was justified... Considering the child had been sitting crying for 10 minutes whilst he was with op

What on earth are you on about? Ignore the people with zero comprehension skills, OP.

Hopefully OP you have some luck with the specialists. We were brushed off for years before I lost it with one of the paed gastros we saw and he came up with new advice.

The posters saying getting a child to sit for ten minutes is cruel have never had a child who withholds. Regular periods of sitting is standard advice.

Erm ... it's your comprehension skills that are lacking. Read the quoted thread. The words.

Has a professional advised you to limit the sitting time?
It’s just that your aim is surely to prevent him withholding?

And therefore getting him off at a set time (perhaps when he’s about to poo but he’s not verbalising that so you’d never know), seems to be counterintuitive to him actually feeling able to do a poo…..at some point……rather than within a set time.

Imagine having to poop on demand as an adult. Or actually, do many things on demand. It’s like you’re training him to withhold his poo, if you see what I mean?

Nope. You sound awful, and really quite dim.

Ummmm.....what's.....happening....now??

This thread has gone barmy.

OH my gosh, how can people on a forum claim others aren't good parents? this is one situation, as if none of us have ever had situations we regret? get a fucking grip all of you

I think you've mistaken my tone here. I didn't say he was a bad parent, I said good parents work as a team. The fact that OP knew the DH was going to come and try to take over suggests this is a habit of his. Something he could do with thinking about his approach to. We're all learning.

I don't think I'd ever poo again if I had to put up with this lunacy.

tbh, OP, i wonder why when your child was crying for his father you didn't just let your DH take over.
You are both your child's parents. You think you're in the right, but why do you get to make all the decisions here?

You and your DH need to be on the same page. But tbh if i heard my son wailing and crying for me through a locked door, I'm not sure i wouldn't break it down too.

So you are both in the wrong, but don't try to make out that your DH is worse. You are as bad as each other in different ways.

You sound awful and really quite dim too. But I love my kids.

I think you might need to have a lie down.

How pathetic. Have you got anything to say that might help OP? No? Thought not.

Oh I’m so glad you said you love your kids because I would have assumed not otherwise 😂😂

Dear god there are some absolute numpties on here!

This is so irrational that there's no point continuing.

Yes, there certainly are. And some of them are shit mums too.

Gosh this thread has certainly taken a turn.

Bat shit crazy.

You’ve got about six posters telling you you’re an idiot. Crack on though! 😂😂😂

You haven't done anything wrong, OP. I completely understand why you locked the door. You thought a poo was about to come out and you didn't want your husband to distract your son.

Your husband is the one in the wrong for smashing the door. I think he's either stressed or has other kinds of problems that need treatment.

You’re both out of order.
10 minutes sitting time? That’s nuts.

You say this as a medical professional specialising in paediatric impactation? Because that’s who I heard that advice from. I’d certainly love to hear from another highly experienced medical professional with countering advice though, so do share your credentials and expand upon your post.