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Original poster

Dodgy text message on dh’s phone

300 replies

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 18:52

Just found a dodgy message on my dh’s phone from an unknown number.

“Hi babe I’m going to be back down tomorrow for the day.”

What do you make of it? Is there a way of tracking it? An app or something?

I don’t think I can face ringing it…

Is he having an affair? What do I do tomorrow? Help!!!

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 28/04/2023 10:27

I don’t know, I often get messages from Sexy Susan or Luscious Lucy letting me know they are up for fun🤨. I’m guessing prostitutes who rely on a certain strike rate from these cold call messages? If my DH read my phone it would likely indicate I’m a rampant lesbian and yes, I delete those messages as why would I want that shit in my phone.

hexagonality · 28/04/2023 10:28

Sorry haven't rtft so maybe this has been suggested already. If your phones are on the same mobile account, can you log in check the account records? I was in this situation (turned out to be an affair) and I checked for the number on my mobile provider account, downloaded details of dates/times/durations of calls and texts. It was pretty much all the proof I needed - multiple texts and long calls to one number, many of which I could link to things like the times I would have been out of the house to pick up dc from an evening actvity. I did also go through his phone and took pics of the screen with my own phone rather than having to send screenshots to myself and then delete.
Hopefully it won't be an affair - there are other possible explanations, and you might look at the records and find out this is the only call from this number.

outdooryone · 28/04/2023 10:29

I had a text this morning from someone clearly arranging a date tonight.
Sadly it was not a date for me.

Keep an eye on things - does that message get deleted or added to?

Bookworm20 · 28/04/2023 10:34

OK, think logically about it.

If it was an escort as some have suggested, I think they would very very likely have an actual voicemail message saved instead of the generic one. They use their phone for their business as the sole way most wouold get in touch with them. So highly likely there would be a recorded message along the lines of leave me the best way to get back in touch with you or some such.

If it was scam, these 99% of the time contain a link to click on. They 100% of the time include some sort of urgency to the text. This is so people react quickly to what they want them to do. If simply a reply is what a scammer is after, it would certainly contain some sort of urgent need for the recipient to think they should reply. This contains neither. Its highly unlikely to be a scam.

Was there any xx's after the message? If an affair, it is highly likely the message would contain some sort of x or emoji or something like that. It was worded very straight forward.

My thinking is its either a wrong number, someone he has worked with on a project who just calls everyone babe (I know a few women who do this, its weird, but apparantly not uncommon), and is in the area and letting him know.

The only thing that stands out is the number isn't saved on his phone as anything. If it was an affair, wouldn't it be more likely he'd of saved the number as 'Dave the Plumber' or something? So I'd lean more towards a wrong number at this point.

I think I'd just be in touch with him today a little more than usual and if he seems to go out when he said he wasn't going to, or doesn't answer or get back to you in a reasonable time, then maybe just keep an eye out. It isn't necessarily anything bad at all.

Picoloangel · 28/04/2023 10:49

@skelter83 I did this too! The partner/wife rang me back and nothing I said could convince her that it was a mistake. I’ve often wondered what horrendous consequences might have flowed from it but on the other hand she was clearly suspicious anyway. At least that’s what I tell myself 😬

HoppingPavlova · 28/04/2023 11:00

If it was an escort as some have suggested, I think they would very very likely have an actual voicemail message saved instead of the generic one.

The ones who contact me don’t (I’m assuming prostitutes). Just general text messages that are brief with no links, different numbers. So I guess anyone interested just simply texts them back and it goes from there. Someone did say you could get programs that spams out texts to numbers in the area but no idea if that’s correct or not.

Kaiserchief · 28/04/2023 11:01

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 08:03

I love a bit of Mumsnet batshittery on a Friday morning

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😂🤣😂

CantThinkOfUserID · 28/04/2023 11:06

People saying watching porn makes a relationship rotten - my partner and I watch porn occasionally, sometimes together and sometimes alone, we don’t hide it, and it’s not a common occurrence, but it doesn’t affect our relationship at all, and sometimes gives us new ideas.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 11:06

CantThinkOfUserID · 28/04/2023 11:06

People saying watching porn makes a relationship rotten - my partner and I watch porn occasionally, sometimes together and sometimes alone, we don’t hide it, and it’s not a common occurrence, but it doesn’t affect our relationship at all, and sometimes gives us new ideas.

Thanks for letting us know.

Screwballs · 28/04/2023 11:12

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 11:06

Thanks for letting us know.

Show quote history

Cross posted? Doesnt fit at all does it?! Maybe spambot

draxdomax · 28/04/2023 11:14

My strongest thought here is actually positive: Who's dumb enough to run their side business on their main phone, give it to their kid, etc?

daisymoonlight · 28/04/2023 12:15

I think you need to find out more info. I once sent a text and a whatsapp invitation intended for my son but I got a digit wrong (he had just got a new phone so not yet stored in mine) and it went to a stranger, I also said I love you at the end. I hope they didnt think it was anything dodgy

CantThinkOfUserID · 28/04/2023 12:23

Screwballs · 28/04/2023 11:12

Cross posted? Doesnt fit at all does it?! Maybe spambot

Show quote history

I wrote this, not cross-posted or confused or spamming ... someone wrote a page or two back that with the options of cheating or porn, their relationship is rotten. But I disagree on the porn. My partner and I have problem with each other looking at it.

CantThinkOfUserID · 28/04/2023 12:24

Correction: have no problem with it

IfICouldIStillWouldNot · 28/04/2023 12:25

draxdomax · 28/04/2023 11:14

My strongest thought here is actually positive: Who's dumb enough to run their side business on their main phone, give it to their kid, etc?

Lol! So many men.

Clusterfunk · 28/04/2023 12:32

draxdomax · 28/04/2023 11:14

My strongest thought here is actually positive: Who's dumb enough to run their side business on their main phone, give it to their kid, etc?

I found out one of my exes was cheating when his messenger pinged on our shared computer after he’d left the house. She mentioned how much she was looking forward to their date. A browse of their chat was illuminating.

Honestly, when they think with their dicks it diverts blood from the brain.

OldFan · 28/04/2023 12:42

He went to bed early tonight with a headache. Apparently he’s had it all day. Does that mean anything?

Did he take his phone up with him? Then it'd provide him space to secretly text the person.

You can't know what's going on/what everything means yet @Ithinktherefore . So you need to keep your head down and keep an eye on things to get more info to inform you (or find nothing suss if that case may be.)

Greenfree · 28/04/2023 12:53

I hope Op updates this and that everything is ok

Ariela · 28/04/2023 13:05

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 19:55

He wfh and very occasionally (once every six weeks) goes into London. He’s freelance and is a workaholic so have had no reason to be suspicious of this.

It’s weird that the sender has said ‘back down’ because we used to live up north but moved to London about 18 years ago. Could it be someone from way back?

No-one calls him babe. That’s also weird.

'Back down' implies it's someone from the south now living up north that is heading back down south - so the opposite of the way you've travelled, which makes it seem even more like a wrong number

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 13:13

'Back down' implies it's someone from the south now living up north that is heading back down south

Where I am 'back down' could mean anything from a street a way to a country away Grin

Maddy70 · 28/04/2023 13:16

I have just sent a similar text to my friends husband in error. (it was meant for my friend)

Mistakes do happen.

DogInATent · 28/04/2023 13:20

'Back down' implies it's someone from the south now living up north that is heading back down south - so the opposite of the way you've travelled, which makes it seem even more like a wrong number

Down used correctly would mean "away from London". But in common usage it could mean anything you like. Nice and vague.

Coffeelotsofcoffee · 28/04/2023 13:38

Unless you've noticed anything else strange this sounds like a wrong number to me

larkstar · 28/04/2023 13:41

FWIW, on balance, I think it will turn out to be nothing of importance.

deedeeweewoo · 28/04/2023 13:41

try whocalledmeuk

or want one of us to do it? x