Page 11 | Dodgy text message on dh’s phone

Ithinktherefore · 2023-04-27T17:52:16+00:00

Just found a dodgy message on my dh’s phone from an unknown number. “Hi babe I’m going to be back down tomorrow for the day.” What do you make of it? Is there a way of tracking it? An app or something? I don’t think I can face ringing it… Is he having an affair? What do I do tomorrow? Help!!!

snowydays10 · 28/04/2023 17:21

Get yourself a ring doorbell and some cameras!

MiniDinosaur · 28/04/2023 17:21

Hmm, it’s a bit convenient that his work fell through today, isn’t it?
When you say he was local for 1.5 hours, where was that?

toobusytothink · 28/04/2023 17:23

Has he not told you about the text? If I got one of those I would 100% show it to my other half and ask him to help me get to the bottom of it or just to say “what the f* is this do you reckon?” But he hasn’t 🤔

MysteryBelle · 28/04/2023 17:37

I agree that it is strange his work fell through today. What gave you the inkling to look at his phone in the first place?

This is one of those situations where it could be absolutely nothing or it could be a big something. I think I’d have to discreetly find out which it is (have no idea how though).

Gcsunnyside23 · 28/04/2023 17:39

DogInATent · 28/04/2023 13:20

'Back down' implies it's someone from the south now living up north that is heading back down south - so the opposite of the way you've travelled, which makes it seem even more like a wrong number

Down used correctly would mean "away from London". But in common usage it could mean anything you like. Nice and vague.

But he goes to London every 6 weeks for work so could be someone he met in London when working and they're coming back there

DogInATent · 28/04/2023 17:51

Gcsunnyside23 · 28/04/2023 17:39

But he goes to London every 6 weeks for work so could be someone he met in London when working and they're coming back there

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You'd actually be happier if it was an affair, wouldn't you? Go on, admit it.

MissConductUS · 28/04/2023 18:11

toobusytothink · 28/04/2023 17:23

Has he not told you about the text? If I got one of those I would 100% show it to my other half and ask him to help me get to the bottom of it or just to say “what the f* is this do you reckon?” But he hasn’t 🤔

If I showed DH every spam text I get he'd think I had lost the plot, and he'd be correct.

KateKateLee · 28/04/2023 18:17

Wrong number?

U2HasTheEdge · 28/04/2023 18:17

toobusytothink · 28/04/2023 17:23

Has he not told you about the text? If I got one of those I would 100% show it to my other half and ask him to help me get to the bottom of it or just to say “what the f* is this do you reckon?” But he hasn’t 🤔

I didn't tell my husband about a text I received from a random man (spam). It just wasn't interesting to me, or something I felt the need to tell him. I just blocked it, didn't need his help to 'get to the bottom of it'.

OP. You need to have an actual conversation with him about this now. I hope it's nothing but talk to him.

I find it strange that you didn't mention you had a tracking app though.

chipndip · 28/04/2023 18:19

If it was an escort as some have suggested, I think they would very very likely have an actual voicemail message saved instead of the generic one. They use their phone for their business as the sole way most wouold get in touch with them. So highly likely there would be a recorded message along the lines of leave me the best way to get back in touch with you or some such.

The problem with this is that you are assuming all escorts work and communicate in exactly the same way.

Some escorts just use text message to communicate. They don't have a voicemail message set up because they aren't going to check messages, and anyone who calls rather than texts has screened themselves out by not being able to follow contact instructions.

Often those who only communicate by text don't have smart phones for work as a way to ensure they aren't contacted by Whatsapp, face time or video call.

Anyway, that's all by the by now as OP seems to have decided all is fine and there's no reason to be concerned.

OldFan · 28/04/2023 18:27

could see from app he was home.

@Ithinktherefore I don't want to make you more paranoid but isn't it a coincidence that on the day the texting babe said she was coming down he just happened to have an unexpected day off work?

QuacketyQuack · 28/04/2023 18:44

Why don't you save the number in your phone and then I the person has Whatsapp you'll be able to see their picture if they have one

deydododatdodontdeydo · 28/04/2023 18:56

toobusytothink · 28/04/2023 17:23

Has he not told you about the text? If I got one of those I would 100% show it to my other half and ask him to help me get to the bottom of it or just to say “what the f* is this do you reckon?” But he hasn’t 🤔

Why would he tell his suspicious wife about a scam text that would only get her snooping?

choccytime · 28/04/2023 19:53

He s bought the tickets cos he feels guilty ...😬

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/04/2023 20:33

florenceandthemac · 28/04/2023 17:06

I think if I received a text like that though, that wasn't for me or was a scam, I'd tell my DH along the lines of "oh I've had this weird text today"

This

The fact he didn't mention is does seem weird

But glad you are happy and hope you sort out your other issues

Kaiserchief · 28/04/2023 20:47

I’m still saying wrong number. Some of these replies are absolutely insane.

whatatool · 28/04/2023 20:50

How many of you have ended good relationships based on your Jessica Fletcher far fetched theories? Christ on a bike! Is it a full moon??

PippinStar · 28/04/2023 20:52

toobusytothink · 28/04/2023 17:23

Has he not told you about the text? If I got one of those I would 100% show it to my other half and ask him to help me get to the bottom of it or just to say “what the f* is this do you reckon?” But he hasn’t 🤔

Jesus, so much happens in my day that I forget about scam texts approximately 30 seconds after I receive them. If I told my husband about every scam text/email I got, he’d fall asleep with boredom 🤣 We have one hundred other relevant things to talk about at the end of the day.

Shapemyeyebrows · 28/04/2023 21:40

@Ithinktherefore Sorry but I think there’s more to this than it being just a scam text. Maybe if it was just the text on its own but you’ve admitted you are having relationship issues, you found this message that sounds very specific (not a generic scam text) saying they are around the next day then lo and behold the same day this text mentions your partners work “falls through”? Are you not thinking he went out and met this person?

Fam23 · 28/04/2023 22:18

Kaiserchief · 28/04/2023 20:47

I’m still saying wrong number. Some of these replies are absolutely insane.

I agree!
I think the majority of people on mumsnet love a cheating husband and failing marriage 🤦🏼‍♀️.

AlloPeciaMam · 28/04/2023 22:27

chipndip · 28/04/2023 18:19

If it was an escort as some have suggested, I think they would very very likely have an actual voicemail message saved instead of the generic one. They use their phone for their business as the sole way most wouold get in touch with them. So highly likely there would be a recorded message along the lines of leave me the best way to get back in touch with you or some such.

The problem with this is that you are assuming all escorts work and communicate in exactly the same way.

Some escorts just use text message to communicate. They don't have a voicemail message set up because they aren't going to check messages, and anyone who calls rather than texts has screened themselves out by not being able to follow contact instructions.

Often those who only communicate by text don't have smart phones for work as a way to ensure they aren't contacted by Whatsapp, face time or video call.

Anyway, that's all by the by now as OP seems to have decided all is fine and there's no reason to be concerned.

If I was an escort I wouldn’t use the phrase “babe”. I would be discrete because most clients would be married. The message is not from an escort. Not a professional one anyway.

Arxx · 28/04/2023 22:28

Could you get back on his phone to check if there have been any further texts? If there aren’t and the text isn’t deleted maybe all is well and this was just some random unfortunate scam text but it doesn’t sound like a scam if there were no links to click etc

Arxx · 28/04/2023 22:29

For people saying wrong number.. when was the last time you received a text to the wrong number? I can’t think of any ever 🤷🏼‍♀️

chipndip · 28/04/2023 22:52

AlloPeciaMam · 28/04/2023 22:27

If I was an escort I wouldn’t use the phrase “babe”. I would be discrete because most clients would be married. The message is not from an escort. Not a professional one anyway.

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A fishing text sent to all punters is hardly going to use someone's name, hence a generic 'babe'.

Many punters have punting phones that are separate to their actual phones. These are usually hidden and switched off. But, at the same time, many don't have a dedicated phone. While I want to agree that many professional escorts don't send messages such as this, some do, particularly if they've decided to visit a location at short notice and want to try and secure all bookings in advance rather than on the day.

Ultimately though, you're not an escort, so how you would do things is rather a moot point. I am an escort. However, I don't communicate in this way and most pertinently, would never initiate contact with a client. But many do escorts do.

Liorae · 28/04/2023 23:20

Arxx · 28/04/2023 22:29

For people saying wrong number.. when was the last time you received a text to the wrong number? I can’t think of any ever 🤷🏼‍♀️

I get texts like that on at least a weekly basis.