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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dodgy text message on dh’s phone

300 replies

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 18:52

Just found a dodgy message on my dh’s phone from an unknown number.

“Hi babe I’m going to be back down tomorrow for the day.”

What do you make of it? Is there a way of tracking it? An app or something?

I don’t think I can face ringing it…

Is he having an affair? What do I do tomorrow? Help!!!

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 28/04/2023 13:53

C

MissConductUS · 28/04/2023 14:09

Nandocushion · 27/04/2023 21:21

DH had a random text once from a young woman suggesting they get together for supper and saying she'd make her chicken curry. DH is a big curry fan, but he didn't know her, so texted back saying she'd got the wrong number. She then texted back apologising and asking sort of an open ended question, which he didn't respond to. Several months later, I got the same message from a different number - it's a scam where they try to lure you into a conversation, which I imagine works with a lot of men when it's apparently a young woman, and that leads to whatever the scam is - money etc. This sounds like it could well be one of these messages.

This. It's called a pig butchering scam. If you text back that they've sent the text to a wrong number, they try to strike up a friendship with you, flirt, etc. Then they try to talk you into investing on a bogus crypto trading platform. I've gotten two texts like this in the last month or so.

https://www.justice.gov/usao-cdca/pr/justice-dept-seizes-over-112m-funds-linked-cryptocurrency-investment-schemes-over-half

Justice Dept. Seizes Over $112M in Funds Linked to Cryptocurrency Investment Schemes, With Over Half Seized in Los Angeles Case

The Department of Justice announced today that it has seized virtual currency worth an estimated $112 million linked to cryptocurrency investment scams commonly called “pig butchering.”

https://www.justice.gov/usao-cdca/pr/justice-dept-seizes-over-112m-funds-linked-cryptocurrency-investment-schemes-over-half

gold22 · 28/04/2023 14:44

Have you tried typing the number in to Facebook, if it's linked with an account it will bring it up

Woopzies · 28/04/2023 14:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Hijinks75 · 28/04/2023 14:58

I haven’t read every reply on this post, but it’s one of those that if posted by a man would have people asking why you were looking at her phone and all sorts of accusations about spying and not trusting her, people do genuinely send messages to others by mistake, it only needs a digit wrong after all, could be nothing or could be something

MeetMyCat · 28/04/2023 15:24

I wouldn't do anything for now OP - just watch and wait. Its probably nothing though.

Dontthinkthrice · 28/04/2023 15:25

Please update us! I really
Hope it was just a wrong number or scam.

SchrodingersParrot · 28/04/2023 15:26

I've had the “Hi mum blah blah I’ve just got to use my friends phone as mines going flat…” one

DH has had this one too. As he pointed out at the time, any message which begins "Hi Mum" falls at the first hurdle.

OP, have you thought of calling the number from a different phone? If someone answers, you could say you've had a missed call from the number, and ask what it was about.

LemonTreeSkies · 28/04/2023 15:39

I’ve had a few weird messages. One asking if I wanted to go to a charity event and another asking if I wanted steak for dinner. I just blocked, deleted and forgot about them.
I dont even think they were wrong numbers, I just assumed scam.

Ithinktherefore · 28/04/2023 16:06

Ok. A mini update.

We have Life360 on our phones (helps keep tabs on teen ds) so I could see that he was out this morning locally for an hour and a half.

I wasn’t able to pop back home at lunch due to a work issue but could see from app he was home. I rang home around 1pm on landline and I asked what he’d been up to. He said his work for the day had fallen through at 9am so he’d been on a dog walk followed by a coffee stop and was now working his way through the laundry. Nothing out of the ordinary and fits with what I could see from the app.

He also told me he’s bought the two of us tickets to go and see a local band on Sat.

I think all is well (as can be, given I know we need to work on our relationship) and I probably need to park this.

OP posts:
Jennybeans401 · 28/04/2023 16:08

I'd say nothing and investigate further, if there's something going on he's not going to tell you if you confront him.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 16:09

That's a nice update OP. Have a lovely time tomorrow!

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 16:19

Ithinktherefore · 28/04/2023 16:06

Ok. A mini update.

We have Life360 on our phones (helps keep tabs on teen ds) so I could see that he was out this morning locally for an hour and a half.

I wasn’t able to pop back home at lunch due to a work issue but could see from app he was home. I rang home around 1pm on landline and I asked what he’d been up to. He said his work for the day had fallen through at 9am so he’d been on a dog walk followed by a coffee stop and was now working his way through the laundry. Nothing out of the ordinary and fits with what I could see from the app.

He also told me he’s bought the two of us tickets to go and see a local band on Sat.

I think all is well (as can be, given I know we need to work on our relationship) and I probably need to park this.

op

i have no idea whether or not he’s cheating on you
but good heavens - something is very very seriously wrong in your marriage for you to have started this thread and your subsequent updates. Very wrong.

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 16:20

Can’t understand why you didn’t mention life360 before as kind of relevant

MysteryBelle · 28/04/2023 16:24

I’d still be curious to know what the text was about and if he responded to it. Although it is more likely be a scam or wrong number, looks that way, my curiosity would want to know.

MysteryBelle · 28/04/2023 16:24

I would like to know, not my curiosity would like to know 😂

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 28/04/2023 16:43

Ithinktherefore · 28/04/2023 16:06

Ok. A mini update.

We have Life360 on our phones (helps keep tabs on teen ds) so I could see that he was out this morning locally for an hour and a half.

I wasn’t able to pop back home at lunch due to a work issue but could see from app he was home. I rang home around 1pm on landline and I asked what he’d been up to. He said his work for the day had fallen through at 9am so he’d been on a dog walk followed by a coffee stop and was now working his way through the laundry. Nothing out of the ordinary and fits with what I could see from the app.

He also told me he’s bought the two of us tickets to go and see a local band on Sat.

I think all is well (as can be, given I know we need to work on our relationship) and I probably need to park this.

Helps keep tabs on teen ds my eye, you're using it to spy on him too. Looking at his messages wasn't enough. Go and get some dignity. If the roles were reversed here and you were a husband doing this to a wife you'd get a chorus of controlling and abusive. And they'd be right.

Frith2013 · 28/04/2023 16:49

Absolutely no one needs to have their location spied on by others.

Ithinktherefore · 28/04/2023 16:54

I’m not spying on him. That would imply it’s against his will. It’s not.

OP posts:
Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 16:58

Ithinktherefore · 28/04/2023 16:54

I’m not spying on him. That would imply it’s against his will. It’s not.

How come you only mention the app now?

and please do reread your op and follow up posts.

I think you will see that your marriage is rotten to the core

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 17:00

Ithinktherefore · 28/04/2023 16:54

I’m not spying on him. That would imply it’s against his will. It’s not.

So if he knows

And he was having an affair

he would be pretty fucking stupid to lie about his journey and location, wouldn’t he Op?!

IWantRebeccasConfidence · 28/04/2023 17:04

Don’t park it. Just because he was at home doesn’t mean he was having someone over all day! Especially if he wasn’t working and had the day free……

florenceandthemac · 28/04/2023 17:06

I think if I received a text like that though, that wasn't for me or was a scam, I'd tell my DH along the lines of "oh I've had this weird text today"

IWantRebeccasConfidence · 28/04/2023 17:06

For those saying it’s weird, it’s not. We have each other’s location on find my friend type app. It’s completely normal and helpful for us. I don’t follow where he is all day but it’s useful to see if he’s left work or not when expected, as he can’t always use his phone. Also if anything ever happened or crashed the car, you can see an exact location. Police can’t magically locate your phone in same way.

WellPlaced · 28/04/2023 17:12

I would be very very suspicious.

Don’t park it. Once you open your mind to what seems impossible, other things may start dropping into place. We’re blind when we think something just isn’t possible.

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