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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dodgy text message on dh’s phone

300 replies

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 18:52

Just found a dodgy message on my dh’s phone from an unknown number.

“Hi babe I’m going to be back down tomorrow for the day.”

What do you make of it? Is there a way of tracking it? An app or something?

I don’t think I can face ringing it…

Is he having an affair? What do I do tomorrow? Help!!!

OP posts:
Greenly3 · 28/04/2023 06:20

Oh that made me laugh out loud! How lovely that you were able to have a nice chat!

Inkanta · 28/04/2023 06:26

Did I miss something. Who's had a chat?

Mummy8908 · 28/04/2023 06:29

Sorry you are going through this worry OP. However, as others have said, it could be a scam. Why don't you hide your number and call the person who sent the text? To them, your number will be unknown and you can hear who picks up, if they do.

WordtoYoMumma · 28/04/2023 06:30

In all this, why is "wrong number" not being considered as an option?

I've had some weird text messages on my work mobile "hope you got the fish sorted" was one 😂

Butterfly44 · 28/04/2023 06:32

Scam. A message like that elicites a response like "sorry I think you've got the wrong number". They then know it's an active cell.

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 28/04/2023 06:33

Could be an error. I've had a message on WhatsApp before from a wrong number informing me about a work meeting in London, I work in a school. I replied with sorry wrong number and never heard anything again.
On the other hand he could be cheating, if it was my DH I'd quietly do some digging and try gather proof. A man who's having an affair is hardly likely to confess if confronted without evidence

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 06:35

WordtoYoMumma · 28/04/2023 06:30

In all this, why is "wrong number" not being considered as an option?

I've had some weird text messages on my work mobile "hope you got the fish sorted" was one 😂

I keep getting calls and messages from an estate agent about overdue rent on my work phone. They don't believe I'm not the person they're after Grin

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 28/04/2023 06:35

Ithinktherefore · 27/04/2023 19:05

Our relationship hasn’t been good for a while so I was snooping.

He lets our dc play on his phone regularly and it’s never attached to him so thought it unlikely he’d be hiding messages.

You invaded his privacy by viewing his phone without his permission? I'd be embarrassed to admit that because it's absolutely disgusting.

Isthisexpected · 28/04/2023 06:36

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 05:47

Scam
old flame
or porn

either way - this relationship is rotten to the core OP. So can’t understand why you’re hoping it’s a scam

Show quote history

@Tookeffort81

Isthisexpected · 28/04/2023 06:36

^ because no matter how challenging the relationship, it would be incredibly painful to know that whilst going through a hard time, one's spouse is being unfaithful. That must be obvious to everyone else here with a heart!

Hiddenvoice · 28/04/2023 06:46

Op I’ve read your posts. Hopefully it’s a scam but usually scams to me ask for something and this message hasn’t.

It could possibly be a wrong number which is likely but if your relationship hasn’t been very strong lately then it’s a possibility that it could be an affair.

It’s up to you what you do, you can continue snooping and looking into it or you can ask him. If he’s open with his phone and usually leaves it around for the children to play with then that’s a good sign. From personal experience, if someone is cheating then they usually take the phone everywhere with them!

mainsfed · 28/04/2023 06:54

I would call the number from his phone and say he’s confessed and ask her why she targeted a married man.

Seabreeze18 · 28/04/2023 06:54

I feel for u but please keep an open mind! Some people just talk like that (babe) and it may just be a completely innocent friend?
but also pop home at lunch!! Hope u find answers and closure!

Twdfn123 · 28/04/2023 06:59

Good luck today I hope you get the answer you're looking for. 💐

SilverPeacock · 28/04/2023 07:00

It could easily be a scam. ‘Sorry you’ve got the wrong number’ then scam artist just needs to reply ‘well I’ve just been dumped by my boyfriend, you sound nice though yada yada’. It’s just a way in to a conversation and some people fall for all sorts of shit unfortunately.

UseOfWeapons · 28/04/2023 07:01

Could be a scam. I had several, one said ‘I saw you in town the the other day, and you looked right through me.’ That was it. Unknown number. I ignores it, the lack of my name as a salutation, or any detail, i.e, Friday, was suspicious. Never had another one from that number, and blocked it after a couple of months.

FishChipsMushyPeas · 28/04/2023 07:36

I think its more likely to be a wrong number than anything else. I had a fab message once, 'its all sorted and I've hidden the evidence'

I replied 'I dont think this is for me, but Im intrigued'

They never replied. Gutted to this day.

I cant believe people that are saying to put trackers in his phone and the like.

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 07:41

Isthisexpected · 28/04/2023 06:36

^ because no matter how challenging the relationship, it would be incredibly painful to know that whilst going through a hard time, one's spouse is being unfaithful. That must be obvious to everyone else here with a heart!

Yes but my point is

say it is a scam, the OP says how incredibly relieved she will be

then what? This is not a healthy marriage with legs

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 07:42

mainsfed · 28/04/2023 06:54

I would call the number from his phone and say he’s confessed and ask her why she targeted a married man.

What a horrible suggestion

Divebar2021 · 28/04/2023 07:47

The thing that interests me is that it’s a text message. Who uses text messages nowadays? Even my parents who are in their 80’s use WhatsApp. if you’re having an affair there are other messaging systems that you could lock with a password which seems safer if as you say the children use his phone freely. When I look at my text messages it’s mainly business numbers - my parcel will be delivered etc. The prostitute thing I don’t know…. How much notice would they give of a “tour”? Wouldn’t he be claiming to be working in town rather than WFH if he was meeting someone ? Hoping it’s all a scam thing in the end for you OP.

OKwhatsNext · 28/04/2023 07:49

Hope you are ok op. Goodluck today

IfICouldIStillWouldNot · 28/04/2023 08:01

Yes, sending strength and solidarity Op. Hope you are ok.

gannett · 28/04/2023 08:02

CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease · 28/04/2023 06:33

Could be an error. I've had a message on WhatsApp before from a wrong number informing me about a work meeting in London, I work in a school. I replied with sorry wrong number and never heard anything again.
On the other hand he could be cheating, if it was my DH I'd quietly do some digging and try gather proof. A man who's having an affair is hardly likely to confess if confronted without evidence

I've had a few wrong numbers text me recently - surprising because I assume no one's physically typing them in to text any more, just gong through their saved contacts? Last week I had a bunch of missed calls from an unknown number then a text message saying "ETA 10 minutes xxx" - no one turned up 10 minutes later of course. I suppose if DP had found that with no context he might have been suspicious (but then he wouldn't snoop through my phone).

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 08:03

mainsfed · 28/04/2023 06:54

I would call the number from his phone and say he’s confessed and ask her why she targeted a married man.

I love a bit of Mumsnet batshittery on a Friday morning

AlloPeciaMam · 28/04/2023 08:04

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 28/04/2023 06:35

You invaded his privacy by viewing his phone without his permission? I'd be embarrassed to admit that because it's absolutely disgusting.

Show quote history

I would ordinarily agree with you. But when you suspect your DH’s actions are dodgy you have no other choice.