Being Single/Alone

[Livelifelaughter]

The Times just published an article about "Being Alone". In the comments section many people wrote about how they enjoyed a morning walk, coffee even holidays alone. The writer explained her love for doing things alone (although was in a relationship at the time she wrote the article).
There's a real difference to doing things alone and having a partner/husband even children to come back to...one of my friends talks about her holidays alone not mentioning her 25 year old daughter is with her. In fact I find it really exciting being alone and notching up the things I would tell my boyfriend.
But there's a massive difference in having exciting experiences alone, going to a fancy restaurant alone while other tables are full of chattering couples and I would rather have a partner with me.
I am not talking about it's better to be alone than in a rubbish relationship, that's obvious...but do people really want to be alone ?

I would! Even a good relationship doesn’t seem better than being single to me. I actively choose to be single.

I would! Even a good relationship doesn’t seem better than being single to me. I actively choose to be single.

Same here.

I am so jealous of both of you / people like you!

I hope that one day I get to this place.

Is it that you’ve been in relationships and they were not so good / as you thought it would be etc.

Or you just don’t care being partnered up?

Also, what age are you?
I find veing single so much more worse now when everyon are pretty much in relationships and have kids.
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Or you just don’t care being partnered up?

I'm 38. I don't really enjoy having a partner. I like my own space too much and I like pleasing myself. Another partner would be detrimental to me, not add to my life. I shudder at the thought of sharing a house again with another man let alone a bed. I'd much rather have space.

I’m mid-40s. I’ve had relationships in the past, one great one, one toxic one followed by one goof one, but tbh even the great one wasn’t enough for me to want it long term and even from the start, for various reasons I won’t get into here, it had an expiry date on it and there never was a ‘happy ever after’ expectation about it. If that hadn’t been there, I probably wouldn’t have become involved in the first place.

Long term commitment and domesticity and serious relationships just hold no appeal to me. I’ve a lovely life and a good lifestyle, and I make no apologies for that, nor am I willing to compromise that for anybody. It always baffles me when people talk about the security of being in a relationship- to me, it’s the opposite of secure, the other party can walk away and upend your life very easily, compromising your home, your finances, your access to your children etc. How many people who thought they were in stable relationships are blindsided by infidelity, unexpected break-ups etc. That’s not to say I’m hiding from relationships because of fear of it not working, it’s just an observation I have.

Bottom line is that I’m someone who loves my own company, craves solitude and doesn’t see anything in a relationship that outweighs those for me.

This is such a good point, I think monogamy gives people a false sense of security, because of this "soulmate" narrative we have as a society, but it's really an illusion - there is not really any true security in life, relationships included in that, things can always change.

Pinning everything you have on one person is, by definition, a very insecure way of living your life. I cringe a bit when people say that they're looking for a partner who is also their best friend, soul mate, house mate, co-parent, etc. it's really putting all of your eggs in one basket, and that basket has a mind all of it's own.

If only single status were more socially acceptable. For some reason I cannot fathom it attracts pity from coupled up women. Which is the wrong assumption to make ie that single women must need an urgent rescue sharpish and cannot possibly manage on their own.