Left out of a holiday with friends, help to move past it

[CallHerJohn]

This is pretty lame but I'm feeling a bit vulnerable so looking for advice.

I have two local friends, who have kids the same age as mine. We tend to meet up all together, have a group chat with the three of us, and the only reason we'd be without one of us is if the 3rd one is working or not around for some reason - generally we invite each other and/or our families when meeting up.

Last week the two other families went on holiday together. I only found out a few weeks ago after asking what one of their plans were over the Easter break. She sheepishly said her family were going away with the other family. I didn't really react, even though I was a bit hurt not to be asked. It's so silly isn't it? I'm a grown woman, but it feels like all those school days feelings of not being included have come right back.

We have a little baby (the other families have two dcs each), so maybe they thought we wouldn't be able to come or want to, but it would have been nice to be asked i guess? Or maybe they just didn't want us to come. Which hurts to think about.

I was ditched by my group of friends at the end of primary school (I never found out why), and ever since it's given me a bit of insecurity around relationships, so this plays right into my anxieties.

I will be seeing these friends regularly at the school gate, activities and socially (i hope?) and I guess I need to have some help to get over this and just move on so it doesn't affect the friendship. Like a mantra to tell myself? Or something?

Maybe she conceived on that holiday!!
she’ll be thinking it’s karma for excluding you if it was because they didn’t want a baby crashing the holiday !
I wonder how this will change the groups dynamics….
of course it might not be your baby that stopped them including you, it might just be that they ger on better or their husbands do… could be a number of things.
I know you chatted with one friend, did you ever get chance to ask the other one?

Thought we ascertained it wasn't actually about the baby but it was the husbands who got along? You seem really petty OP! Even if they did exclude you from the holiday because you had a baby, so what, get over it 🙄

I think OP was joking! Her post was humorous. She's not being petty!!

Gosh I'm not sure why such negativity towardsOP- she's explained why it was hurtful and I think we all get that relationships can be subtle and nuanced. Jumping in and demanding to know why her family weren't invited is not likely to help the dynamics. I think she's been dignified and low key to keep relationships open and drama free in the interests of a longer term friendship. That's hard to do but I think k is the right approach

I agree / not petty at all

I didn't read your update as petty at all, op. Some very odd replies! I think you have been very restrained in your reaction to all of this

It will be very interesting to see how this plays out with the third friend. Out of interest, is the pregnant friend the one you had coffee with?

Op I think you are entitled yo have a little chuckle at this, and thsnkyou for the update. Just for the record, you are not being petty, your feelings were hurt. I hope things have settled down for you and it feels less raw

Good to read you have chosen to suit yourself and move on.

It can be very hurtful to be ditched like that but it's probably because of the baby. Try not to worry. X