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Original poster

Man ive been on 2 dates with has updated his OLD profile

205 replies

Hotvimto3 · 18/04/2023 22:05

Just that... two dates, daily phone calls and texting. Forming a nice friendship, attraction there ... we both said. Just saw online that hes updated his dating profile with all new pictures. Its a delete and block now isnt it?

OP posts:
Goatbilly · 18/04/2023 22:34

Why do you feel so emotionally invested in someone who is essentially a stranger?

ThreeLocusts · 18/04/2023 22:43

I know nothing about OLD, so don't mind me, but don't both points of view make sense?

It could be the equivalent of him looking over your shoulder while conversing at a party. But isn't it also possible that the updated profile is supposed to impress you?

As I said, I'm ignorant... interesting problem though.

Myfabby · 18/04/2023 22:44

Goatbilly · 18/04/2023 22:34

Why do you feel so emotionally invested in someone who is essentially a stranger?

It's not a stranger. They've dated., spent days chatting. You cant be dismissive of the connection.

Shapemyeyebrows · 18/04/2023 22:47

@Hotvimto3 I think you have done the right thing. It’s one thing him keeping him profile on there but he’s actively changing his pictures to attract other women.

Flowersun6 · 18/04/2023 22:47

Too late now. I would not of deleted that person tbh OLD is crazy and now you are going to have to start the whole process again!

Why didn't you just ask him?

Original poster
Hotvimto3 · 18/04/2023 22:49

Myfabby · 18/04/2023 22:44

It's not a stranger. They've dated., spent days chatting. You cant be dismissive of the connection.

Show quote history

We have spoke every day for weeks. Even facetimed and was introduced to his adult son who was there visiting.
Good night and good morning msg daily. Two very long dates (no sex) walking, meals. There is definitely a friendship forming and talk of other dates
I totally dont expect him to delete the profile, but whilst im happily looking forward to next meet up, hes looking for someone else.

I get the point about the pics to impress me,but hes sent me loads of pictures direct to my phone of him, family and work/pets so it would seem odd that he would think that was the best place

I am invested because ive taken a lot of time out of the last few weeks to talk and make time. Its annoying.

OP posts:
Goatbilly · 18/04/2023 22:51

Hotvimto3 · 18/04/2023 22:49

We have spoke every day for weeks. Even facetimed and was introduced to his adult son who was there visiting.
Good night and good morning msg daily. Two very long dates (no sex) walking, meals. There is definitely a friendship forming and talk of other dates
I totally dont expect him to delete the profile, but whilst im happily looking forward to next meet up, hes looking for someone else.

I get the point about the pics to impress me,but hes sent me loads of pictures direct to my phone of him, family and work/pets so it would seem odd that he would think that was the best place

I am invested because ive taken a lot of time out of the last few weeks to talk and make time. Its annoying.

Show quote history

"A lot of time" ..it takes month, years even to know someone really well. You have created a particular narrative in your mind which probably never existed.

Winemygoodenemy · 18/04/2023 22:51

It’s a hard one. It’s only 2 dates. He may think you are not interested as he sees you’ve been active. I think OLD is fair game until you sleep together or had a chat.

I personally never deleted profiles and continued to swipe until i knew they felt the same. it wasn't really to find someone better or that I wasn’t interested. I just wanted to Just chat to him and ask if he wants more dates.

With my DP he did the chasing but I still had my profile active. Granted didn’t use it much. But I only deleted when we had the chat. It was early on.

Original poster
Hotvimto3 · 18/04/2023 22:51

Its like swifty says 'i think ive seen this film before and I didnt like the ending'. 😄

OP posts:
largeprintagathachristie · 18/04/2023 22:51

I would feel the same as you do.

Original poster
Hotvimto3 · 18/04/2023 22:53

Flowersun6 · 18/04/2023 22:47

Too late now. I would not of deleted that person tbh OLD is crazy and now you are going to have to start the whole process again!

Why didn't you just ask him?

What would you have said? Just directly asked why the new pictires? I suppose I could have commented on them but it feels a bit pathetic, unless thats just me.

OP posts:
Daisytigermay · 18/04/2023 22:55

I actually agree with you I only invest in one person at a time multi dating is not for me, I also don’t have the time for it I would delete too

DHsPoorBack · 18/04/2023 22:58

I think there's some confusion. OP isn't miffed that he hasn't deleted his profile after 2 dates. OP is rightly miffed that after two dates, and she thought there might be potential, that he's put up an updated new profile.

He's upped his advertising so to speak, which he would be doing if he intended to progress with OP.

Myfabby · 18/04/2023 22:59

DHsPoorBack · 18/04/2023 22:58

I think there's some confusion. OP isn't miffed that he hasn't deleted his profile after 2 dates. OP is rightly miffed that after two dates, and she thought there might be potential, that he's put up an updated new profile.

He's upped his advertising so to speak, which he would be doing if he intended to progress with OP.

There's no confusion.
It's just the usual patronizing meanness you often see on this type of threads.

coolcahuna · 18/04/2023 23:02

I totally agree with you. If he was really into it, why the need to revamp his profile. Shows he's still thinking who else is out there rather than being happy with what is developing.

Agree best not to comment on the pics. What would he even say to that.. yep I'm still looking?!.

BringtheJury · 18/04/2023 23:07

I think you sort of know if you like someone enough to carry on seeing them to want to get to know them better. If you're updating your profile then I'd take that as someone not liking me enough and wanting to keep their options open.
I wouldn't like to go on a date with someone knowing that they are going home to check a dating app to see if anyone else had contacted them.

MeetMyCat · 18/04/2023 23:10

This ‘exclusive/not exclusive’ thing sounds like a minefield

BringtheJury · 18/04/2023 23:11

MeetMyCat · 18/04/2023 23:10

This ‘exclusive/not exclusive’ thing sounds like a minefield

I agree, we just used to go out with someone and it either turned into a relationship or it didn't. We never had 'the chat'

WinterDeWinter · 18/04/2023 23:15

Goatbilly · 18/04/2023 22:34

Why do you feel so emotionally invested in someone who is essentially a stranger?

Why do you?

Sunnygirl07 · 18/04/2023 23:16

Yes, of course.

I would ask very directly because I am a direct straightforward person:

  1. Why do you have new pictures on the dating site?

  2. Is just me not enough?

  3. Are you looking for more dates to shop around so to say?

When I was talking to my DH when we were messaging daily for 1 month, I added a few more nice pictures of me too. Then he made a plan to meet me in person.

So we met 2 months later as we lived in different countries.

Junglejanie · 18/04/2023 23:17

You've done the right thing OP. He was either looking for someone else or trying to make you jealous by thinking he was looking for someone else. Either way just block and move on.

MorrisZapp · 18/04/2023 23:18

WinterDeWinter · 18/04/2023 23:15

Why do you?

Show quote history

BOOM

Sunnygirl07 · 18/04/2023 23:18

I would never block him before I asked him these obvious questions.

After we met with my DH, we started dating and agreed on our exclusive relations.

Original poster
Hotvimto3 · 18/04/2023 23:20

Ive deleted the app and his number and funnily enough not had a msg since the change of pics so all my answers are there. Bloody timewasters.

OP posts:
BringtheJury · 18/04/2023 23:40

Sunnygirl07 · 18/04/2023 23:16

Yes, of course.

I would ask very directly because I am a direct straightforward person:

  1. Why do you have new pictures on the dating site?

  2. Is just me not enough?

  3. Are you looking for more dates to shop around so to say?

When I was talking to my DH when we were messaging daily for 1 month, I added a few more nice pictures of me too. Then he made a plan to meet me in person.

So we met 2 months later as we lived in different countries.

I wouldn't be able to bring myself to ask these questions, it sounds a bit needy to me.

Good on you op for having your own boundaries and sticking to them.

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