Yes. He was 60 and I was in my 30s. He was a spiritual leader. I studied with him and idolized him, felt pity for him because he struggled with health problems - and then gradually he swooped in. Gave me gifts and notes, and one day he kissed me.
he convinced me that his wife and he lived separate lives, and didn’t have a real marriage.
I was such a little naive idiot!
I wound up eventually knowing (through therapy) that he had broken some serious ethical rules with me, and that those rules are there for a reason - he had too much power over me.
I wound up eventually figuring out that his wife wasn’t the abusive, controlling, distant, unreachable non-wife that he had painted her to be- that he was a horribly deceitful and manipulative person.
I wrote her an apology letter in which I promised I would put my loyalty with women first, and that I wouldn’t believe a man’s story of a woman again. I’ve kept that promise. She passed away not long after that, and I am still sad that she died instead of him who so much more deserved to be the one who passed first.
so yeah. What’s the story of the other woman? In my case, a very mentally ill and wounded woman, young and naive for my age, who needed a lot of therapy to overcome the “men” damage - father and brother damage- in my psyche. Found a very much admired religious leader to listen to, thought he was a harmless gentle old man, and then made some VERY piss-poor decisions because I was flattered he’d chosen me, and also I guess I felt “rescued” somehow.
sick, to prey on a very vulnerable person. And don’t worry, I did blame myself plenty, for many many years, until therapists over the years drummed it into my head that HE was WAY out of line.