Yes, we are. There was a final straw and I heard the words coming out of my mouth "it's over" without all that much input from me, iykwim.
The relationship had died a long time before, I just didn't want to separate because 1) trapped financially then 2) children - I so badly wanted them to have stability, but happier parents would have been better 3) exactly what you said. I had nothing left and no energy at all - some health issues were badlly exacerbated by living so very unhappily.
He was good practically and appalling emotionally during the divorce, to the point his best friend got in contact to ask if I was alright!
The rather grim news is that it took months before I even began to see that light still existed, iyswim, and now 3 1/2 years on I'm still recovering and will be for quite a long time to come. I had pre-existing vulnerabilities but was coping quite well before the marriage, unfortunately the nature of the relationship has made them far worse. I think for most people it would take a shorter time.
All I can say though is that the whole idea of uprooting the relationship, of changing the status quo and rebuilding was beyond my conscious power for a long time, but once it happened it was so so so worth it.
He's not a bad man, actually. But he was a very bad husband. He does and always has loved the kids and is involved, which can also be a mixed blessing, but we do work quite well together in co-partnership, even if he's been known to hit them :s