So desperately heartbroken. In physical pain, please help

[heartbreak2]

An 18 month relationship ended today. It was dysfunctional in many respects but I was / am head over heels in love with him. 18 months doesn’t seem like long but it changed my world.

I feel so crushed and suffocated with sadness and like I’m never going to be able to function again. The relationship was also largely secret (it wasn’t an affair, before anyone asks) so there’s literally nobody in real life I can talk to

please please please can someone give me some first aid for my heart and head and help me believe that there will be a better life for me after this.

But if he’s not blocked, you’re leaving the door open for him. I said this to you back in April.

OP, with kindness - there is no reason not to block him. None. Work doesn’t matter when it comes to your mental health - look at what he’s doing to you! You will never, ever be free unless you take control. You had to go on antidepressants, you’ve wasted years of your life for this man - what is it going to take for you to slam the door and walk away?

I’m just posting to update.

after a vile week where I gave him a number of very thoughtful Xmas presents and he got me a shit generic panic gift which couldn’t be more ‘other woman’, it’s over and he’s blocked. I am not materialistic at all but when I contrast the effort he made last year vs now with now…it’s heartbreaking but also the reality check I need. He’s just not that in to me. Can’t wait for a fresh start and focussing on me.

thanks for all the support, tough love, and shared experiences. I now won’t need to see him for over a month to it’s an ideal time to focus on me.

OP I have read the whole thread today. I'm so glad you have blocked him and maybe the Xmas present is what it took to tip you over the edge and block him.
I totally get what it's like to be in love with someone whose just not that into me or breadcrumbing me or keeping me on the back burner as an option.
It's so easy for people to say block and delete , we know that's the right thing to do and we know we would tell our friend to do that if we saw them in the same situation. But it's so hard when you're pining for someone and have strong feelings for them . Any sort of contact from them feels soothing and feeds our need to have contact with them .
I am currently doing NC with someone who is so obviously not interested anymore , I have deleted his number and have no way of contacting him. If he does reach out to me, I plan to either ignore him or tell him it's pointless as I don't want to be with someone who is flaky and doesn't give a shit. This will be difficult as I really like him but I'm no longer going to be fed crumbs and there to stroke someone's ego when they feel like it .
Sending you lots of strength, good wishes and hugs.

@Howdoyoudo21 apologies I’ve only just seen your reply. How are you doing? I do think this time of year is the worst.

whilst I’ve blocked him, he has other means of tracking me down via work if he really wanted to and he clearly doesn’t so whilst I’m hurting im also realising I’m better than Someone who’s not that in to me - and so are you too!! There are so many people in this world and these guys are not the ones - in the words of Taylor - thank you next!