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Original poster

Husbands porn searches are concerning

181 replies

Linger123345 · 03/04/2023 16:45

Would you be concerned if your partners porn searches were for "small teen porn" and "naked teen selfies"?
He's 60. Always with a porn habbit which never bothered me, although the lack of sex life did bother me.
But i recently saw his search history which hes usually very good at clearing. Small teens to me sounds like underage stuff. I don't know what to do, or if im simply overreacting.

OP posts:
UB40andaglassofwine · 03/04/2023 19:13

Your husbands a pedo!! LTB

ProjectsGalore · 03/04/2023 19:16

You must report this to the police. Children need safeguarding from these men. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 19:29

This is an example of why the porn addiction should have bothered you.
It didn't used to bother me but I've seen now that it always leads to more and more deviant stuff because of desensitisation.

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 19:31

Iom92 · 03/04/2023 17:55

You need to do the right thing and report him to the police. You also need to pack a bag and leave him. Can’t believe some of pps on here trying to justify or explain his actions!!!

I don't think that's a crime to be honest.

Mylittlefanny · 03/04/2023 19:34

Any doubt. Take the laptop / computer with you drop if off at the police station asap, explain your concerns. Be careful as he could get violent. Let us know your ok

EmilyGilmoresSass · 03/04/2023 19:39

Mylittlefanny · 03/04/2023 19:34

Any doubt. Take the laptop / computer with you drop if off at the police station asap, explain your concerns. Be careful as he could get violent. Let us know your ok

This. If you don't have anywhere to stay with family or friends, I'd contact your local women's shelter.

SummerDawn2000 · 03/04/2023 19:39

It’s a porn genre where woke over the age of 18 who are skinny, petite and young looking. It alludes to underage but isn’t underage. Still revolting.

Mylittlefanny · 03/04/2023 19:41

It's a thin end of the wedge. They start off looking at " legal " but near the edge. Then it can slide into Cat A, b c etc. Just be careful OP. Put yourself first, tell a trusted friend in real life if need be.

bitcharming · 03/04/2023 19:46

G58 · 03/04/2023 17:38

Actually, I now need to clear my bleedin' Google history as I doubt my wife would believe "but I was just checking for someone on Mumsnet"

....

Godlovesall26 · 03/04/2023 19:47

Linger123345 · 03/04/2023 18:30

Ive packed a bag for the time being.
Im leaving before he gets in from work.
I just need to process this before going to the police. I have taken screenshots.

You’ve done the right thing imo.

If he has some kind of ‘explanation’, that’s up to him to clear out with the police.

You could never forgive yourself if something happened (aside from being legally liable). There are some situations where it just has to be zero risks.

Im so sorry for this to happen to you, so many situations are not clear cut, but both morally and legally you are doing the only right thing here.

I don’t think you have to spill it out to the world for now, just a trusted relative to stay with, if of course any teens in your family inform the police and ask them the approach. (I’m just saying in the very unlikely ime situation there actually is an explanation)

G58 · 03/04/2023 19:54

@Linger123345 If you are reporting this to the police, then without the laptop, they are unlikely to be able to do anything as he will erase it (if he's any sense) before they can look at it.

On the face of it, what you are reporting he's done is repulsive and leads the majority of us to believe that he is looking or starting to look for pictures of - at the very least - young looking teens. If he's just starting and those search records are the first ones he's used, then there wont be any pictures on the laptop and what he's done is therefore a bit sick, but not illegal. Given that the search string "small teen porn" brings back no results on Google (assuming that's what he's using to search - I didn't test Bing etc, there's a limit to what I'll do to help) then its possible this is a first time. If it is not the first time he's looked for this, then there most likely will be pictures in his cache or elsewhere as people into porn like to collect.

So it may or may not be a criminal offence that the police would look further into and if he is prosecuted would depend on if there were pictures or videos of underage children in his possession. The search strings themselves are not - I don't think - enough.

Whatever the police think though, it is way more important what you think. If this is something that crosses a line, then leave. Its your life and no one else's. He does appear to be at the very least, pushing the boundaries of legality and imo, decency.

hallodarknessmyoldfriend · 03/04/2023 19:56

That is absolutely revolting.

Sorry you have to go through this, OP Flowers

Naunet · 03/04/2023 19:57

He’s utterly repulsive. I’m so sorry OP, this must be such a shock.

LexMitior · 03/04/2023 19:58

You can never wipe your Google search. It is all recorded and the police can ask for it from Google. Clearing a few bookmarks doesn't cut it.

Godlovesall26 · 03/04/2023 20:00

G58 · 03/04/2023 19:54

@Linger123345 If you are reporting this to the police, then without the laptop, they are unlikely to be able to do anything as he will erase it (if he's any sense) before they can look at it.

On the face of it, what you are reporting he's done is repulsive and leads the majority of us to believe that he is looking or starting to look for pictures of - at the very least - young looking teens. If he's just starting and those search records are the first ones he's used, then there wont be any pictures on the laptop and what he's done is therefore a bit sick, but not illegal. Given that the search string "small teen porn" brings back no results on Google (assuming that's what he's using to search - I didn't test Bing etc, there's a limit to what I'll do to help) then its possible this is a first time. If it is not the first time he's looked for this, then there most likely will be pictures in his cache or elsewhere as people into porn like to collect.

So it may or may not be a criminal offence that the police would look further into and if he is prosecuted would depend on if there were pictures or videos of underage children in his possession. The search strings themselves are not - I don't think - enough.

Whatever the police think though, it is way more important what you think. If this is something that crosses a line, then leave. Its your life and no one else's. He does appear to be at the very least, pushing the boundaries of legality and imo, decency.

Good point about the laptop.

Now, although it’s great of you to help, I agree do stop any search yes, you’ll end up in more trouble than this guy !

Godlovesall26 · 03/04/2023 20:03

LexMitior · 03/04/2023 19:58

You can never wipe your Google search. It is all recorded and the police can ask for it from Google. Clearing a few bookmarks doesn't cut it.

I think @G58 meant wiping the laptop itself, as in any files ( ugh I don’t want to think about it), reducing the possibility of a proper full picture.
above my realm though

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 20:06

Godlovesall26 · 03/04/2023 20:03

I think @G58 meant wiping the laptop itself, as in any files ( ugh I don’t want to think about it), reducing the possibility of a proper full picture.
above my realm though

Show quote history

Yes, and there would not be enough evidence to warrant a search of the laptop.
Police will only investigate if the information given at the time of reporting meets criminal threshold, not if there is likely something on his laptop, there has to be actual cause to believe there IS

G58 · 03/04/2023 20:07

@Godlovesall26 Thanks. I realised in hindsight how stupid I was using those search terms to help the OP. Thankfully nothing came back, but lesson learned. I was thinking of others and not myself. Can't say I'm an expert in this subject.

And yes, I meant wiping the pictures (if any) from the laptop.

HalliwellManor · 03/04/2023 20:08

He's a dirty old perverted bastard.

Reinventinganna · 03/04/2023 20:09

He knows what he is doing. Whether they are children or look like children he is attempting to view child sexual abuse.

HotSince82 · 03/04/2023 20:12

I think this is more common than any of us realise thanks to men becoming desensitised to 'normal' porn and seeking more extreme content to get themselves off.

I actually think this also speaks to a sizeable minority of men having paedophilic tendencies on the whole.

So you are probably in good if unfortunate company here OP.

In the bin with him. Better to have found out now than never I suppose.

Hope you are ok. Sending a hug x

Greenfairydust · 03/04/2023 20:17

What a creep.

Report him to the police and ask them to search his computer(s).

I am also so sick and tired of the people who will do anything to try to defend this type of porn use. The usual ''it's OK because it is over 18 pretending to be teens so it is not illegal'' or ''it's fine because everyone has fantasies, it doesn't mean they will act on them''.

It is vile.

Full stop.

userfred · 03/04/2023 20:24

HotSince82 · 03/04/2023 20:12

I think this is more common than any of us realise thanks to men becoming desensitised to 'normal' porn and seeking more extreme content to get themselves off.

I actually think this also speaks to a sizeable minority of men having paedophilic tendencies on the whole.

So you are probably in good if unfortunate company here OP.

In the bin with him. Better to have found out now than never I suppose.

Hope you are ok. Sending a hug x

I agree here. It is very common sadly. My ex used to look at it. The particular site he used the most common one - P H) I'm sure used to have a category of something named 'teen.....' something. I can't think what if was called and I'd rather not know.

shutthewindownow · 03/04/2023 20:28

He is a pedo