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Original poster

Husbands porn searches are concerning

181 replies

Linger123345 · 03/04/2023 16:45

Would you be concerned if your partners porn searches were for "small teen porn" and "naked teen selfies"?
He's 60. Always with a porn habbit which never bothered me, although the lack of sex life did bother me.
But i recently saw his search history which hes usually very good at clearing. Small teens to me sounds like underage stuff. I don't know what to do, or if im simply overreacting.

OP posts:
OlivesandOsterica · 03/04/2023 17:51

This is known as "Ephebophilia"...basically, if the legal age of consent wasn't 16, they'd be trying even younger. I work with vulnerable young women and see this predatory behaviour a lot. So many women I work with may be 16 years old, but psychologically and emotionally their ages do not match, no matter how "grown-up " they act.

Iom92 · 03/04/2023 17:55

You need to do the right thing and report him to the police. You also need to pack a bag and leave him. Can’t believe some of pps on here trying to justify or explain his actions!!!

lifeissweet · 03/04/2023 18:00

@BlackBarbies

I guarantee that when he’s typing in ‘small teen porn’ nothing underage is coming up. You can type in the worst thing imaginable and porn sites won’t bring anything up. I mean unless he’s on some backsreet porn site/dark web then he isn’t watching anything illegal.

You can't possible know this. There is all sorts of coerced sex, revenge porn and rape on legal sites. It just isn't flagged as such. The porn industry is the Wild West.

And no, maybe a google search wouldn't bring up anything actually illegal, but why does the legality even come into it?

He is turned on by young looking girls. He's an aging man. It's disgusting and creepy.

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a man with those sorts of predatory fantasies.

No.

Asummersday · 03/04/2023 18:02

Grim! Reminds me of my married 70 year old FIL who likes big boob instagram model photos….it makes me ill dirty old men…..wish I could tell his wife!

BlackBarbies · 03/04/2023 18:06

lifeissweet · 03/04/2023 18:00

@BlackBarbies

I guarantee that when he’s typing in ‘small teen porn’ nothing underage is coming up. You can type in the worst thing imaginable and porn sites won’t bring anything up. I mean unless he’s on some backsreet porn site/dark web then he isn’t watching anything illegal.

You can't possible know this. There is all sorts of coerced sex, revenge porn and rape on legal sites. It just isn't flagged as such. The porn industry is the Wild West.

And no, maybe a google search wouldn't bring up anything actually illegal, but why does the legality even come into it?

He is turned on by young looking girls. He's an aging man. It's disgusting and creepy.

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a man with those sorts of predatory fantasies.

No.

Oh absolutely, that’s absolutely my true. I’m sure you can easily stumble across revenge porn and all sorts of things on porn sites.

My point was, is that someone who’s trying to access dodgy things won’t get far by typing in ‘small teen porn’ so I doubt that was his intentions. However it does seem that at the very least he’s trying to watch two consenting adults where the woman has a ‘childlike’ body so to say.

If you see my response after the one that you replied too, I did say that it doesn’t look good either way!

WeeOrcadian · 03/04/2023 18:06

I can't believe that you even need to ask. I feel sick just thinking about it. Are there any other red flags?

Meandfour · 03/04/2023 18:08

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 03/04/2023 16:59

That would be a deal breaker for me and if he’s actually viewed these images/ videos I’d be reporting him to the police.

This. Report him & divorce him. I couldn’t even look at him after this.

Puppers · 03/04/2023 18:09

I guarantee that when he’s typing in ‘small teen porn’ nothing underage is coming up. You can type in the worst thing imaginable and porn sites won’t bring anything up. I mean unless he’s on some backsreet porn site/dark web then he isn’t watching anything illegal.

Unfortunately this is completely untrue. All kinds of videos featuring children, teenagers, trafficked women/children, coerced women, revenge "porn" etc are freely available on major porn sites, even if they aren't titled as such.

discobrain · 03/04/2023 18:09

Teen categories on porn sites, are there to service paedophiles legally with their barely legal content.

Any one searching for small teen porn is clearly a paedophile and that would also explain the lack of sex.

I'd be divorcing him. Revolting man.

Treacletoots · 03/04/2023 18:11

Honestly. I'd be out of there so fast, and I'd also be handing over his laptop to the police.

Unless you want an early morning visit from a police officer in a few months time, and possibility that they also think you're complicit. And I speak directly from experience of a friend this happened to. Her partner of 10 years was downloading disgusting images and the police inferred she must have been aware, absolutely horrifying.

There's no grey areas here. You're either with him or against him. Make the right call.

Dachshund40 · 03/04/2023 18:15

not sure if anyone has already suggested this, but can you take his devices to the police station and say your concerns?

boysmum23 · 03/04/2023 18:18

i'd report him to the police then kick him out. young teen cant possibly mean 18+

Kanaloa · 03/04/2023 18:19

Of course I’d be concerned. Who wouldn’t? And also revolted. Is this the first inkling you’ve had of this?

Kanaloa · 03/04/2023 18:22

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:09

I am going to go slightly against the grain here and say that lots of people have sexual taboo fantasies and kinks which between consenting adults is fine, but I think the fact that he seems to have a porn addiction while your sex life is flagging is the issue here.

Well yes, that’s totally true between consensual adults - but the problem is that he wants ‘young teens’ and not consenting adults. That’s a more of a crime than a taboo.

ChronicallyMyself · 03/04/2023 18:27

Report him. Immediately.
And I'm so sorry.

Eas1lyd1stracted · 03/04/2023 18:28

You are under reacting.

These are terms people use to access child sexual abuse images yet claim they thought the children were adults.

Do not have a chat with him. He will delete everything and you will never be certain whether your husband had a hard drive fill of child abuse images. Report him.

Original poster
Linger123345 · 03/04/2023 18:30

Ive packed a bag for the time being.
Im leaving before he gets in from work.
I just need to process this before going to the police. I have taken screenshots.

OP posts:
TheWorldisGoingMad · 03/04/2023 18:48

The questions are: do you have children, what sex are they and how old are they?

I'm afraid, if it was me, I would have been down at the Police Station asking for advice already.

A closet Paedofhile is still a paedophile. The reality of living with this man for so many years is disgust and shock. How to deal with it depends on your situation, but the Police would still be my first stop. If it's a laptop, they will probably want to take it away and maybe examine it. Do you really want to know what he's been up to all this time... perhaps not. You will have to live with the doubt and the questions. If you do nothing, you will also have to live with it.

lifeissweet · 03/04/2023 18:48

Linger123345 · 03/04/2023 18:30

Ive packed a bag for the time being.
Im leaving before he gets in from work.
I just need to process this before going to the police. I have taken screenshots.

Well done. This is so hard for you. Take a breath. Look after yourself first and foremost.

Do you have anyone in real life you can talk to?

Punkyspunky · 03/04/2023 18:55

Any young teens in the family? Might need some sharing with others.

GraysPapaya · 03/04/2023 18:57

I don’t agree with porn and worry as I have 2 boys I’d like to protect from it.

I think it’s grim, and if he has a porn habit you should leave. BUT teen porn is very popular and more main stream than this thread would have you believe. Having worked in male dominated industries most of my life, a lot of them watched porn and many of them the 18+ category.

I’m not saying it’s right, but a lot of men are watching this behind their partner’s back.
look on any porn site at the most watched, it’s millions of hits on school girl, step sister (even grimmer).
There’s a leap between watching some porn online of a 18/19 year old and being a peadophile.
BUT, if he’s a porn addict and you don’t want to be with him then leave! But I wouldn’t leap to him committing any offences.

Back2front · 03/04/2023 19:04

Ugh. Deal breaker. What else is he hiding?

WorldCuppa · 03/04/2023 19:09

@CherryBlossom321 but of course it’s not.

lifeissweet · 03/04/2023 19:10

There’s a leap between watching some porn online of a 18/19 year old and being a peadophile.

it is a bit too close to the line for me, legal or not.

It may not be as uncommon as we think, but if I was aware my partner was turned on by innocent, naive young girls with bodies barely out of puberty, he'd be in the bin.

It is revolting, dirty old man behaviour. It's predatory.

... and it is worth it for OP's piece of mind to make sure there isn't anything actually illegal, because it is the same kind of sickness. Being turned on by the kind of people you have power and authority over is a massive red flag.

WorldCuppa · 03/04/2023 19:12

@TheWorldisGoingMad @Idratherbepaddleboarding what are you actually talking about. Do you know what paedophilia is?