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Original poster

Husbands porn searches are concerning

181 replies

Linger123345 · 03/04/2023 16:45

Would you be concerned if your partners porn searches were for "small teen porn" and "naked teen selfies"?
He's 60. Always with a porn habbit which never bothered me, although the lack of sex life did bother me.
But i recently saw his search history which hes usually very good at clearing. Small teens to me sounds like underage stuff. I don't know what to do, or if im simply overreacting.

OP posts:
YouJustDoYou · 03/04/2023 17:23

That's disgusting op, it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it

G58 · 03/04/2023 17:24

@Linger123345

I just searched in Google using both of your search terms and the first one "small teen porn" brought up a warning that "child sexual abuse imagery is illegal" from the Internet Watch Foundation. There were no images brought back because Google recognised that search string for what it was, an attempt to look at child pornography.

@Howdypip77 There's kinks and there's the illegal viewing (and by default storing) of child pornography. This is the latter.

@Linger123345 You can put software on his computer to monitor what he's doing but I'm afraid it does look like he is looking for images of people who look underage.

daisychain01 · 03/04/2023 17:25

Yes gods not another one who's cool about living with a pervert, it's all OK.

no none of it is OK, not the teen searches, none of it, it's all sleazy and vile - raise your bar woman - please!

daisychain01 · 03/04/2023 17:26

Is he friends with Paul Gadd?

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:27

G58 · 03/04/2023 17:24

@Linger123345

I just searched in Google using both of your search terms and the first one "small teen porn" brought up a warning that "child sexual abuse imagery is illegal" from the Internet Watch Foundation. There were no images brought back because Google recognised that search string for what it was, an attempt to look at child pornography.

@Howdypip77 There's kinks and there's the illegal viewing (and by default storing) of child pornography. This is the latter.

@Linger123345 You can put software on his computer to monitor what he's doing but I'm afraid it does look like he is looking for images of people who look underage.

True - presuming he was on a normal porn site than its often roleplayed type stuff is a bit whatever.

Google searching....ick. He is gonna end up in the shit. I would worry he is looking for actual teen stuff....

G58 · 03/04/2023 17:28

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:27

True - presuming he was on a normal porn site than its often roleplayed type stuff is a bit whatever.

Google searching....ick. He is gonna end up in the shit. I would worry he is looking for actual teen stuff....

Show quote history

I see where you are coming from, but she'd not have seen the search history if it was a search within the porn site.

FishChipsMushyPeas · 03/04/2023 17:29

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:09

I am going to go slightly against the grain here and say that lots of people have sexual taboo fantasies and kinks which between consenting adults is fine, but I think the fact that he seems to have a porn addiction while your sex life is flagging is the issue here.

What he's searching for may well not be between consenting adults, or indeed adults at all. And even if they were 18yo then he's still 3x their age.

onwardsup4 · 03/04/2023 17:29

Linger123345 · 03/04/2023 17:16

I havent reacted yet because im still in shock as im still processing. Very much in shock. I dont even think its worth talking to him. Im going to look for my way out.

Sounds like a good plan . Wishing you all the best

Boogismyname · 03/04/2023 17:30

Sorry love, but this would be the end of the relationship for me.

BellePeppa · 03/04/2023 17:33

Absolutely not in any way acceptable. I’d be so repulsed by him he would have to leave or I’d leave.

Backstreets · 03/04/2023 17:34

Grim.

every day I root for the woman trying to take down pornhub.

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:34

G58 · 03/04/2023 17:28

I see where you are coming from, but she'd not have seen the search history if it was a search within the porn site.

Show quote history

True. And if he could clear his searches in the past I dont think you could even argue he isnt that tech savvy to go and search on a porn site rather than using Google where he is likely to find himself down some very dark and probably illegal content.

OP, its made you feel uncomfortable. Thats enough. That is enough.

Puffinpanic · 03/04/2023 17:35

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:09

I am going to go slightly against the grain here and say that lots of people have sexual taboo fantasies and kinks which between consenting adults is fine, but I think the fact that he seems to have a porn addiction while your sex life is flagging is the issue here.

‘Small teens’ are clearly not adults.

And your linking of kinks with your attempts to legitimize and minimalise a search for pornography featuring underage children, just illustrates how the current promotion of ‘kink’ is not harmless but a boundary eroding movement slowly ( or not so slowly) normalizing, not just harmful and derogatory attitudes to women, but also the sexualisation of children.

Inkblue · 03/04/2023 17:36

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:09

I am going to go slightly against the grain here and say that lots of people have sexual taboo fantasies and kinks which between consenting adults is fine, but I think the fact that he seems to have a porn addiction while your sex life is flagging is the issue here.

It stops being a fantasy as soon as someone starts to do something about it, like looking for images. Though if my 60 year old husband was fantasising about small teens my relationship would be over, never mind searching for images. If they did the latter I’d be thinking about reporting them to the police.

OP, I’m very sorry you have found this. It must be a terrible shock.

Boshmama · 03/04/2023 17:38

I’d report him to the police and I really hope you do

G58 · 03/04/2023 17:38

Actually, I now need to clear my bleedin' Google history as I doubt my wife would believe "but I was just checking for someone on Mumsnet"

EmilyGilmoresSass · 03/04/2023 17:40

readbooksdrinktea · 03/04/2023 17:03

The fact that you're worried that you're overreacting is so sad.

This. I'd have been on the police as soon as I discovered it, husband or otherwise! It is sexual abuse and its disgusting.

unclebuck · 03/04/2023 17:40

He was a disgusting piece of shit in many ways. Abusive and aggressive. When I pointed out the search to DH, DF and him at breakfast he simply argued that they were adult actresses and started the whole "women enjoy making porn" crap. DH physically removed him from our property.
I do wonder if she would have left it if we had not made a scene. I wonder if she knew previously (she said not) and it was more that we found out.
He lost his job due to porn addiction (teacher caught many times at work and managed out) and now works teaching ESOL in SE Asia which terrifies me tbh but he has no criminal record so I cannot do anything about it (I did email the agency he works for but no response)

Puppers · 03/04/2023 17:41

It's one of 3 things.

  1. He's just straight up searching for child sex abuse images/videos.
  1. He's searching for adult pornography, but is using search terms that he knows full well are likely to return videos of underage girls (children) because the pornography industry is notoriously filled with images and videos of trafficked women and underage kids. He wants plausible deniability.
  1. He is intending to watch adults having sex, but he is looking specifically for very young adults who look like children.

Whichever it is, he's a paedophile.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It must be a terrible shock 💐

LexMitior · 03/04/2023 17:43

You would be amazed at the compromises some women make to stay with a man; don't be one of those women.

Best of luck - find a good divorce solicitor, take a screen shot, report to the police.

NemoandDoris · 03/04/2023 17:44

Small teen is just one tiny step away of looking for child abuse. It is practically the same thing.

it would be an instant goodbye from me.

BlackBarbies · 03/04/2023 17:48

Howdypip77 · 03/04/2023 17:09

I am going to go slightly against the grain here and say that lots of people have sexual taboo fantasies and kinks which between consenting adults is fine, but I think the fact that he seems to have a porn addiction while your sex life is flagging is the issue here.

I agree with this (but maybe it’s because I watch porn myself, who knows!)

I guarantee that when he’s typing in ‘small teen porn’ nothing underage is coming up. You can type in the worst thing imaginable and porn sites won’t bring anything up. I mean unless he’s on some backsreet porn site/dark web then he isn’t watching anything illegal.

I do however think that there already seems to be an issue with you guys’ sex life. In all honesty, you could find ‘missionary’ in your husband’s search bar and think fuck this, I stand him anymore. You’re within your rights to feel however you feel tbh!

PurpleReindeer2 · 03/04/2023 17:49

That's really grim. He is gross. I couldn't ever let him near me again. Relationship would be over. Trust gone. Try and get some support in real life and then leave him.

Mammillaria · 03/04/2023 17:49

I'm so sorry OP 🙁

I would echo what @Puppers posted.

Also, if you do have access to his internet history, I'd be checking to see whether he's been using sites like Omegle to try and contact teens.

BlackBarbies · 03/04/2023 17:50

He is intending to watch adults having sex, but he is looking specifically for very young adults who look like children.

Oh yep this is exactly what I meant to say too. It seems that he’s looking for women/very young girls who have ‘childlike bodies.’ The more I type, the more I realise it really doesn’t look good either way:/

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