Don't want to eat after comments

[Feelingworthless1]

2 days ago my partner playfully slapped my bum and said "somebody's bum has got bigger"... I asked if he could please not comment on my weight because it upsets me and he said "well your bum is the size of Beyonces".
I'm a size 8 for context and he's about 3 stone over weight but thinks he's god.
I later said that I was going on a diet and he said "you don't need to diet, you just need to exercise and tone up"...he does no exercise and barely moves from the chair. He's on cholesterol and blood pressure tablets.
I didn't eat apart from dinner and had a chicken breast, brocoli and rice and he commented on my plate "wow that's a lot of food".

I'm feeling so insecure. He doesn't know but I was bulimic for a long time and so I don't like comments about my weight. I now feel that I can't eat.

I am really not the type of person to say to someone else to leave their partner/husband but in this case, he's not bringing anything positive to your life based on your posts @Feelingworthless1.

Please don't live up to your name. You are most definitely not worthless.
He is all for bringing you down but he isn't doing a single thing to improve his body, his language skills or anything really to do with him.

Even if you are just considering taking a break (rather than breaking up permanently), do it sooner rather than later. You may decide to go back, and if you do, it should be with good boundaries in place and with him understanding if he exceeds those boundaries, it's all off. If you don't go back, then you're free of all of his negativity.

@Feelingworthless1 Why are you with him?

Because it's your choice to be with him. You don't have to listen to him. You don't have to spend time with him. You don't have to be affected by the cruel rubbish he spouts.

He's a hypocrite. A not very bright one. He's overweight but thinks he can criticise his size 8 gf for being too big? He blames you for what he eats. He thinks other people shouldn't be overweight but he can be. He thinks you should eat less, exercise more. He thinks he can comment on your weight and eating habits.

He is selfish, totally un-self aware, hypocritical and appears to be mysogenstic too. What a catch!

Leave him. You deserve better. In the meantime (and always) - eat exactly what you want.

he's about 3 stone over weight but thinks he's god.

You both need to stop shaming each other. It sounds like he’s confident in his body though.

🚩he is emotionally abusing you. Go back and read the things you have written that he has said and let them sink in. You deserve better

He's abusive, you'd lose a lot more weight if you got rid of that loser.
If he says anything again about a big bum, say well you look like a Buddha but I don't say anything to you.
This relationship is not making you happy find someone who makes you happy, you only have one life. X

He’s abusive and revolting, demand better for yourself and your kids. Thankfully you refer to him as “partner” rather than “husband” so getting rid of him will be less complicated.

Why are you with him?

I've read all your posts. You are in an emotionally abusive relationship. You are married to a pathetic man who needs to make himself feel better by putting you down. I remember reading something written by a man in China, at the time when women bound their feet, which crippled them so they could hardly walk. The man said, ' to the outside world, the world of my work, I am nothing. But to my wife who relies on me to carry her to the veranda, I am an Emporer.' That's pretty much the function your partner wants you in. He is binding your mind and self-esteem so that he feels like the King lording it over his crippled wife.

Find a way to leave this weak, abusive man and rebuild yourself.

because he KNOWS you're really out of his league, he's trying to destroy your self-esteem. Please don't let him erode your confidence. Kick him to the kerb and move on.

Curb? Kerb? do you know what I mean.

What repugnant behaviour. I know your self esteem is low just now OP, so you may lack the confidence to think ‘I don’t deserve this and he is the problem’, but think about you child(ren). Every interaction like this they see, they are learning how to be a man or a woman in a relationship. I know you wouldn’t want this for them. Get RL support and try to find the strength to leave. This isn’t normal and he won’t change. Taking first steps will feel hard but this life is short, you and your kids deserve happiness.

You are out of his league and he is terrified of losing you. So he makes you feel like shit so YOU feel like the one with something to lose. Take it from this random internet stranger - DITCH THE PRICK

Get rid, the audacity of a big overweight slob like him on all sorts of medication telling you. Go and learn to love yourself, be free of this idiot who is clearly feeling like he needs to crush your soul to keep you in place. Find someone who loves every inch of you not matter what.

What are you doing with this idiot? You should be with someone who cares for you and champions you.
Seriously I don't understand why your with this loser. You know he's wrong that's why you posted this. Please dump him.

Negging is scumbag behaviour but to do it to someone who’s bulimic is sociopathic. Urgently get this boyfriend out of your house, no arguing or conversing with him, he’s a monster. As well as abusing you, he’s a disgrace that should not be near your poor kids. What steps do you need to take to rid yourself of the abuser?

I had a boyfriend like this. Granted I was a size 12/14 and about two stone overweight (I'm much more overweight now!) but I was young and had very little self respect and thought it was normal / justified comments. He was an A HOLE. Now that I'm in my late 30s, love myself and have working on respecting my wants and boundaries- I would NEVER stay with anyone who said that. Are you young? He sounds awful and icky

He's 'terrified' of losing his emotional punching bag. His victim. His narcissistic supply.

Let's be very clear, this isn't a love thing.

@Lastlongers theres NO excuse for abuse. There’s no justifying this mans abuse.

So he is very against people being overweight. He mocks overweight family members or says "she won't find anyone, she's obese"...I ALWAYS call him out on this and think it's awful

He knows he's overweight but says it's my fault for having carbs in the house...even though he eats twice as many as me. He barely leaves he house some days, he's over 16 stone.
What a crock of shit.

The whole what do you bring to the table is straight out of Andrew Tate et al Hustler University where men are taught to treat women like shit as apparently our self esteem is so low we lap that up and spend our lives trying to redeem ourselves.
Do yourself a favour, get out of this. He is trying to crush your spirit. Sounds liek you dont even really like him, he sounds unlikeable.

You will be better off on your own, the fkng fat slob with ideas about him self and laughable audacity can get in the bin.

You need to leave this one OP

He will take every drop of your self esteem

He knows very well you have issues with food, he’s deliberately targeting your weakness to crush you and make himself feel better.

Op, he’s an absolute cunt, and you need to leave him.
However, I know how hard this can be, because he has worn you down and make you feel like shit, and is slowly destroying you and your confidence.
can you talk to someone, get help and support? You do need to leave him, because this is massively damaging for you.

Those who are being unkind because she’s posted before, it’s really bloody hard when someone has dripped their poison into you for an extended period of time. Be kind about it. She needs gentleness and support, not shame.

Hes negging you and bullying you. He knows you’re out of his league and he’s doing this to take you down a peg or two. Get out of the relationship obviously, but in the meantime throw everything right back at him. You have to stand up to bullies of they’ll keep pushing and pushing until you’re just a shell.

Him: ’Your bum is like Beyoncé’s’.
You: ‘Your tits are like Beyoncé’s’

Him: ‘You need to exercise and tone up.’
You: ‘Shall we do it together? You’re looking a bit like flubber these days. Losing a few stone wouldn’t do you any harm and it might help get you off your medication’.

Him: ‘That’s a lot of food.’
You: ‘Brave words for a man sitting in front of a Mount Everest of lasagne’

Or just get rid if you can’t be arsed with verbal witticisms. That’s the best idea.
‘

Partner says "well it's true isn't it. What do you bring to the table? Go on. Tell me"

If he ever says that to you again just answer, "Too many carbs, obviously, you fat tw*t"

If you have poor self-esteem, it's easier to stay with a turd like this because you are always cast in the role of victim, and people will feel sorry for you and support you and you will always be in the right.

It takes ovaries of steel to realise that crumbs of strangers' kindness and pity is NOT all you deserve, and to stand up for yourself and leave. To risk looking like 'the bad guy' and not the victim of a bad guy.

But in leaving there is true happiness - not a facsimile of happiness that you wring out of the sympathy you're offered. Because not only will that sympathy eventually run dry, but it's also not real. It's what you're clinging to in the absence of actual support, actual comfort, an actual relationship.

Unless and until you can come to that place of your own accord, posting about his appalling behaviour won't solve anything. You know he's a POS, you know you'd be better off without him, you know there's better out there, you don't need us to tell you that. What you DO need is to find courage to dump not only him, but that "chained-up little person still in love" self-image.