Page 2 | Don't want to eat after comments

Feelingworthless1 · 2023-03-31T11:06:25+00:00

2 days ago my partner playfully slapped my bum and said "somebody's bum has got bigger"... I asked if he could please not comment on my weight because it upsets me and he said "well your bum is the size of Beyonces". I'm a size 8 for context and he's about 3 stone over weight but thinks he's god. I later said that I was going on a diet and he said "you don't need to diet, you just need to exercise and tone up"...he does no exercise and barely moves from the chair. He's on cholesterol and blood pressure tablets. I didn't eat apart from dinner and had a chicken breast, brocoli and rice and he commented on my plate "wow that's a lot of food". I'm feeling so insecure. He doesn't know but I was bulimic for a long time and so I don't like comments about my weight. I now feel that I can't eat.

reaty · 31/03/2023 12:45

So what you wanna do now?

TeeBee · 31/03/2023 12:46

God he is vile!! Get rid of him and tell him exactly why!! He is substandard.

arethereanyleftatall · 31/03/2023 12:47

Right. I think you've posted before. Just listed thing after thing of awful behaviour. Everybody responded to dump him. Some went in to very kind lengthy detail about how to go about it. You just ignored them all and continued to come back to the thread and list more awful things detailing how miserable your life is. It is. I see this is the plan again.

IHeartGeneHunt · 31/03/2023 12:48

Fuck that noise. Get rid.

LoveWillGetYouThere · 31/03/2023 12:50

You need to shed the weight of him and set your bar higher. You deserve SO much more

ChrisPriss · 31/03/2023 12:50

I agree with previous posters, this man is not good to you, or for you. Tell him you are leaving the table as respect is no longer being served.

Butteryflakycrust83 · 31/03/2023 12:51

The problem is not you or your body, its your partner being an absolute prick. He is trying to wear down your self esteem and worth so you think hes the best you can get.

RosesInWater · 31/03/2023 12:51

Buy a sack of spuds, a huge loaf of white bread and a bag of doughnuts. Leave them in the kitchen with a note by the sack of spuds saying "these remind me of you".

If you have no self esteem you have to develop some. Get a grip and give as good as you get. Size 8 you say? Size flippin 8??? Come on now....

MrsR87 · 31/03/2023 12:52

Feelingworthless1 · 31/03/2023 12:21

So he is very against people being overweight. He mocks overweight family members or says "she won't find anyone, she's obese"...I ALWAYS call him out on this and think it's awful.

He knows he's overweight but says it's my fault for having carbs in the house...even though he eats twice as many as me. He barely leaves he house some days, he's over 16 stone.

Sounds more like he’s against women being overweight rather than people. He sounds very misogynistic to me. He doesn’t sound like a very nice man to be in a relationship with at all!

SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2023 12:52

Feelingworthless1 · 31/03/2023 12:24

Oh and on the same day, I was chatting Welsh to our son...
Partner says "I'm not good at languages and not are you, it's lucky that *Roberts (my eldest.son from previous relationship) dad is good at languages as Robert can learn a lot from him. It's not as if you bring anything to the table, is it.
So I said "charming"
Partner says "well it's true isn't it. What do you bring to the table? Go on. Tell me"
Asked him to leave me alone and he keeps saying, see, what do you bring to the table.
So I said obviously nothing and I'm useless and he replied "here you go again with all your negative thinking and anxiety. Never positive"
I said he had started by being negative and he said he was joking.

Please.
I don't know you,
But I know something.
You deserve better.
LTFB.

ZekeZeke · 31/03/2023 12:53

The only weight you need to lose is that 16 stone bully

OngoingCrisis · 31/03/2023 12:58

He needs to give his belly a wobble. Sounds like he's insecure and trying to drag you down

LadyKenya · 31/03/2023 13:00

I have noticed a few times on here that it is posters who are size 6-8 who seem to be told they are packing it by their partners. Strange. I think Beyonce's bum is a lovely shape fwiw.

jannier · 31/03/2023 13:02

Why are you dieting if you're a size 8? It sounds like his comments are affecting your self image perhaps because his is so bad he's projecting on you? Tell him straight he needs to look in the mirror and get control of himself if he gets a grip you will support him and excercise with him if he's not prepared to he should shut up.

KILM · 31/03/2023 13:02

Why are you with someone who treats you worse than he'd treat a random stranger in the street?
When you love someone, you want them to feel good about themselves and you want to lift them up in a way that they like.
He's talking to you like SHIT

GrumpyPanda · 31/03/2023 13:02

You lost me at the bum-slapping. Eeeeew. Even if accompanied by a "compliment" that would be reason enough to get rid.

jannier · 31/03/2023 13:04

Feelingworthless1 · 31/03/2023 12:24

Oh and on the same day, I was chatting Welsh to our son...
Partner says "I'm not good at languages and not are you, it's lucky that *Roberts (my eldest.son from previous relationship) dad is good at languages as Robert can learn a lot from him. It's not as if you bring anything to the table, is it.
So I said "charming"
Partner says "well it's true isn't it. What do you bring to the table? Go on. Tell me"
Asked him to leave me alone and he keeps saying, see, what do you bring to the table.
So I said obviously nothing and I'm useless and he replied "here you go again with all your negative thinking and anxiety. Never positive"
I said he had started by being negative and he said he was joking.

Oh god it gets worse get rid of the controlling Bsteward now if not for your sake for your son's.

Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 31/03/2023 13:04

Leavey Mc leave of leave the nob leave land.

PlanningTowns · 31/03/2023 13:04

We’ll simply put you need to leave. But I am surprised that you have never told your ‘d’p about previous eating disorders. Given it is such a big thing for you and certain comments clearly trigger you, he may have slightly more understanding of your position. I wonder if you haven’t said because you know deep down he is a dick?

however the ridiculous passive aggressive eating also is t healthy as a response to this. Given your history and and continuing self esteem issues (setting aside the awful partner) maybe some additional therapy to help you refocus?

Theoldwoman · 31/03/2023 13:04

Get rid of him. Seriously, I have nearly lost my beautiful daughter three times due to Anorexia Nervosa bought on by a weight comment from a young man three years ago.

you seriously deserve so much better.

ConstanceOcean · 31/03/2023 13:04

In the nicest way you either need to leave him or stop complaining every time he offends you.

Obviously he doesn’t like you very much but you are choosing to stay with him and continue to be treated this way.

Pinkbonbon · 31/03/2023 13:05

Your partner is abusing you.

He does know weight is a touchy subject for you. That's why he said your bum was big.

And then you go ahead and do exactly what he wants - prove to him it got to you by eating salad.

He's evil op. Through and through.

You do know it's better to be single than in an unhappy relationship right? Let alone a relationship with a head-fucking, negging, game playing evil monster like him.

Life is too short op. You overcame bulimia only to be landed with this asshole for a 'partner' who wants to drag you back there. To make you too focussed inwards so you don't look at HIS flaws.

Get rid! Like, yesterday.

BreviloquentBastard · 31/03/2023 13:06

I actually really hope this is just a rage bait post, because if it's not OP I'm sorry but you're a moron for staying in this relationship and subjecting your children to this oaf.

CrystalCoco · 31/03/2023 13:09

I think I've only ever posted LTB once on here, so here's my second one, just for you:
LTB!!!

He's a vile hypocrite who's dead set on undermining you. I'd imagine he feels pretty bad in himself and instead of changing and improving himself, he makes himself feel better by sucker punching you.

blobby10 · 31/03/2023 13:10

Feelingworthless1 · 31/03/2023 12:24

Oh and on the same day, I was chatting Welsh to our son...
Partner says "I'm not good at languages and not are you, it's lucky that *Roberts (my eldest.son from previous relationship) dad is good at languages as Robert can learn a lot from him. It's not as if you bring anything to the table, is it.
So I said "charming"
Partner says "well it's true isn't it. What do you bring to the table? Go on. Tell me"
Asked him to leave me alone and he keeps saying, see, what do you bring to the table.
So I said obviously nothing and I'm useless and he replied "here you go again with all your negative thinking and anxiety. Never positive"
I said he had started by being negative and he said he was joking.

@Feelingworthless1 my dear friend and colleague is in a relationship similar to this - his wife is constantly putting him down, calling him worthless, telling him he brings nothing to the relationship, taking her own feelings of inadequacy etc out on him. He is utterly miserable and on the point of leaving her - but I think is torn because deep down he does love her and wants the marriage to work (they married in their late 40s). But as I tell him, no loving partner will talk in a way that makes anyone feel miserable, worthless and downtrodden. YOU ARE NOT. Please please either make him leave or leave yourself - being alone is better than being constantly put down.