Don't want to eat after comments

[Feelingworthless1]

2 days ago my partner playfully slapped my bum and said "somebody's bum has got bigger"... I asked if he could please not comment on my weight because it upsets me and he said "well your bum is the size of Beyonces".
I'm a size 8 for context and he's about 3 stone over weight but thinks he's god.
I later said that I was going on a diet and he said "you don't need to diet, you just need to exercise and tone up"...he does no exercise and barely moves from the chair. He's on cholesterol and blood pressure tablets.
I didn't eat apart from dinner and had a chicken breast, brocoli and rice and he commented on my plate "wow that's a lot of food".

I'm feeling so insecure. He doesn't know but I was bulimic for a long time and so I don't like comments about my weight. I now feel that I can't eat.

🙄 I’m sure OP would know if he meant it in a positive way, stop making excuses for bullying cunts.

You need help call the domestic abuse line.
Continuing like this is abusing your children they are being abused you keep posting and doing nothing stop making excuses you will get help finding somewhere for your children sake do it.

You're facilitating the abuse of your children at this point OP.

Your posting style is very familiar and the details are exactly the same as other threads, down to his dental work. So it's definitely you.

People have signposted you to support endlessly and you then just disappear from threads.

Do you want your children to have happy, healthy lives or not? At this point that's really all this comes down to.

Here's a reminder of what you said on another thread.

I've been lied to, cheated on, called mental, he ruins every nice occasion, tells people Im nuts. I run around the house like an obedient little house wife (that he obviously wouldn't marry) and if I have an opinion about anything then I'm hard work, mentally ill, insecure and abusive. He tells me my job's pointless, he earns more so I should do as he says. He's grabbed and pushed me. Told me he wants to punch me in the face. Screamed in my face I'm a bitch and an f-ing twat. Then the day after makes comments that I have anger issues. He shouts at me and when I say stop, he says "see our son is upset at your shouting" despite it being him shouting, not me. He makes me think I'm mad.

If this isn't enough for you to leave then you need to send your older son to his dads because you're allowing him to witness abuse and according to other thread also be abused verbally and emotionally himself by your 'partner'.

Time to put your children first.

I second this.

There are books that teach insecure men how to bully insecure women.

You don't love him. You can't. There is nothing loveable about him and he is showing your son how his version of a man should be. You don't want that, surely?

He abuses you in every way = including physically. I know leaving is hard but you'll eventually be so much happier not suffering abuse every day.

Ring women's aid. Look up what benefits you may be entitled to. Make concrete plans.

Good luck

I wonder what he'd say if she told him a few home truths? That he's right; she does need to lose weight and is going to do so straightaway by leaving the controlling bastard. She can do much better.

The OP has disappeared now people realise who she is and the expected responses fawning over her size 8 physique have stopped.

Don't worry, she'll be back in a few days with a new tale of woe.

Meanwhile her children continue to live in this toxic shitshow, being emotionally and probably physically abused, bullied by their dad/stepdad whilst their mother demonstrates exactly how little their welfare means to her by still running around after him trying to "keep" him with servitude and offers of sex.

How she is still allowed to post thread after thread (some have been deleted even) without any involvement behind the scenes is a mystery to me.

We can only hope someone in their lives tries to safeguard the children and SS get involved to remove them. Notice how she doesn't seem in the slightest bit bothered at suggestions they might!

All that matters is that on paper you have an older, rich doctor for a "partner" right @Feelingworthless1? Keep clinging on to that!!!

I wouldn't be surprised if there were no children or abusive partner, just some bored woman who gets her daily dose of adrenaline by making up woe stories online :/

What's your housing situation, in both names or just yours?

All that matters is that on paper you have an older, rich doctor for a "partner" right @Feelingworthless1!

Oh! It's her!

OP - why do you do this? With a tiny change to your username?

Be honest with us and be honest with yourself

Oh, ffs. Why post the same old shit over and over with no intention of taking any advice?

Well he's clearly asshole, dump him and set yourself free!

Previous threads are horrifying but I can only find back to November last year. Does anyone have links to older please?

Dear god OP he's awful.

He's negging you
He's the cause of your pounding heart and anxiety
He's emotionally cruel deliberately

I do hope you leave him, it might be difficult but trust me, your life will become immeasurably better

Hopefully the sound advice that the OP has been given from some posters who have gone to the trouble to post, will help someone else who may be in a similar position. That is the way that I look at these things.

She changes name every time.

It's been at least three years.

Waste of everyone's time.

Her kids need removing.

What a cunt. Guessing you're beautiful and he knows he's not good enough for you.
Beyonce is stunning so it's not really the neg he thinks it is.
Bin him off.

Someone once told me that some women like being in abusive relationships because they get something out of the victimhood and it means they're not responsible for all the crap.

I was horrified and very offended at the time, but as I get older, I do wonder if sometimes, in some cases, it might be true.

@HoneyPotBee

You both need to stop shaming each other. It sounds like he’s confident in his body though.

Really? I mean fucking really?!

You read the OP and your response was to berate the OP for her comment (on MN, not to him), that he's overweight and thinks he's god's gift?... as though they're both as bad as each other?

What is the hell is the matter with you?

He’s a bully who is chipping away at your self esteem! Probably feeling threatened as you look great and are great x

Also I have no issue with working more hours in theory. However, if I'm going to be a single mum then I can't increase my hours to 5 days a week. My children are in school in 3 different areas, I'd have no holiday childcare and no family near

Look for good childcare then, it's expensive but not forever, and you can claim a good % back via benefits if you're below the threshold.

Have a look on entitledto.com to give you a good idea of what you can claim and don't forget he'll be paying maint too

Fwiw - if my dh said I had Beyonce's rear he would be saying it as a compliment!

Something about men being disgusted by curvy women gives me the ick. If he loves you, that should not be size dependant. Also some men use it as a firm of control, to keep you insecure and desperately pandering to them for approval. Been there, done that, it's shit, destroys your self esteem and it's a game designed so you can never win.

Don't let him do it to you OP.

Her kids are at school, plus the (sounds like very decent) father of her eldest provides maintenance, as would the current "partner" should she actually woman up and leave.

It's not about money, it's about her preoccupation with status and money above the comfort of her kids. All she needs is a two-bedroom flat, her sons can share. She earns well, and has supportive family and friends. Compared to a lot of abused women's stories on here (and I am one of them) she has so much going for her.

She isn't leaving because she doesn't WANT to, not because she can't.

She also seems to get some sort of sick kick out of endlessly posting, gathering hundreds of supportive comments and compliments about her (oh, you're size 8, he must be punching!) then disappearing completely, only to post again a few days/weeks/months/years later.

It's desperate, embarrassing, and an insult to women who are actually trapped by circumstance. But I guess she's hidden the thread now whilst she goes to offer her "man" sex. Pathetic.

You've really netted yourself a huge twat there (literally).

If you need to bide your time to leave him, at the very least make sure you well and truly show the twat up each and every time he puts you down.

Please, Op, please I beg you.

If he has destroyed your self-esteem to the point you won't leave him for you... please do it for your DC.

Do you want your son to be treated like you are, or treat future partners like you? You have studied psychology, and you KNOW that he is taking his clues about what a normal relationship is from you and him. And you know that, if you don't leave and show him what a healthy relationship is, he WILL replicate what he has seen and lived.

Do you want a little Andrew Tate as a son?

Do you want a humiliated, no-self-esteem hulk of a man, abused by his partner, as a son?

Please think of your son. Please don't do this to him.

Leave NOW.