Don't want to eat after comments

[Feelingworthless1]

2 days ago my partner playfully slapped my bum and said "somebody's bum has got bigger"... I asked if he could please not comment on my weight because it upsets me and he said "well your bum is the size of Beyonces".
I'm a size 8 for context and he's about 3 stone over weight but thinks he's god.
I later said that I was going on a diet and he said "you don't need to diet, you just need to exercise and tone up"...he does no exercise and barely moves from the chair. He's on cholesterol and blood pressure tablets.
I didn't eat apart from dinner and had a chicken breast, brocoli and rice and he commented on my plate "wow that's a lot of food".

I'm feeling so insecure. He doesn't know but I was bulimic for a long time and so I don't like comments about my weight. I now feel that I can't eat.

My ex used to make comments like this but when challenged he'd always claim to be joking. I thought I didn't mind at first, but it really impacted my self esteem. I didn't even realise how much it damaged me until we broke up and someone randomly told me I looked pretty that day and it made me cry!

You should leave him.

Dylet ti cael gwared o'r lwmpin iffernol!
Get rid of the evil great lump.
You deserve so much better than this nasty behaviour.
Cwtch mawr x

OP when someone is nasty or cruel to you and then says they were 'only joking' you can be absolutely sure that they weren't - they are trying to control you.

It is your son I feel sorry for as he is absorbing all this behaviour and thinking it is the way men should treat women and it may affect his future ability to maintain a healthy happy relationship.

Even if you can't do it for yourself you need to leave this relationship for your DC's sake.

And hell yeah to the PP who pointed out he's probably doing this because he doesn't want you to realise that you CAN do better.

Classic twattery.

He quips she's obese and will never get someone. He's got someone op, but you could remedy that and get rid. It your fault he's overweight cos of carbs being in the cupboard, you should stuff a whole loaf in his mouth to shut his yap. The man's an idiot and nothing he says matters.

Sorry, but do you really need to post this to realise that you shouldn't be with him and deserve better??

It boggles my mind why women put up with this shit. Why women let men treat them like this.

Raise your bloody bar OP.

Next time he says anything tell him what I once told my overweight DH;

"That's OK. I'll just stand next to you and I'll instantly look slim".

I think he is insecure and he wants you to feel less about yourself so you don't go off with some toned hunk with an 8 pack and an arse you can bounce squash balls off.

You are right @Pinkbonbon I didn’t mean to suggest insecurity was an excuse. This man feels threatened by the OPs better health and accomplishments, hence is insecure and attacks her. But that does not mean “poor him” it means he is abusive and uses abuse to bolster himself.

like everyone else I think the OP would be far better off without him.

Honestly, spell it out: “I’m a size 8 FFS and you’re 3 stone overweight and untoned yourself, so sort yourself out and get real about who has the problem”.

Is this a windup? LTB...

Poor you.

OP, if you read your posts and they were written by a friend of yours, how would you advise her?

Then take your own advice.

(As long as the advice is to end this relationship. )

Tell the cheeky salad dodging cunt to fuck off.

I'm pretty sure this is a wind up.

Swap his blood pressure and cholesterol tablets out for placebos, and start making him Elvis Sandwiches.

He's an arsehole.

He's an abusive knob-head who is deliberately trying to destroy your confidence. Don't let him, you deserve better. Get rid, live a happier life. Good luck!

I think you’re being too sensitive to be honest. Why do women want their husbands to lie to them?

No no no no. Tell him to fuck right off and mean it. Fight back - this is bullshit.

Just so you know I only actually read your first comment! If he’s making you feel bad then that’s wrong.

So I said obviously nothing and I'm useless and he replied "here you go again with all your negative thinking and anxiety. Never positive"

He sounds exhausting. And horrible.

He's fat and blames it on you, and calls you fat though you're not, and fat shames other people.

And he bullies you until you give up and agree with him, and then he mocks you for that.

I know something you can bring to the table - divorce papers.

So you're slim and he calls you fat.

You speak two very different languages, with completely different grammatical systems, and he says you're not good at languages.

Are you seeing the pattern here OP?

For the sake of your son you need to leave, children learn from what they grow up in - no matter how terrible, it becomes their normal so unless you want your ds to end up treating his future partner like this you need to teach him differently, You cant change him but your life doesn't have yo be like this

I left the thread for an hour and can see I now have loads of commentd! I'm about to do the school run so sorry if I've missed anything, I'm short of time.

So yes, this is very normal behaviour. It's not a case of if our relationship will end, it's when.
I'm struggling because he's destroyed me and I mostly despise the man but I also feel that I love him and will be devastated when he meets someone else. I know that's irrational.

He belittles me all the time. I cut my hair and he said "you went from looking young virile and sexy to old and mumsy".
I can't even look in the mirror because my confidence has gone.
I'm constantly on eggshells and scared to do anything. He makes passive aggressive comments if I forget to replace a towel etc.
He continually contradicts himself. For instance he wanted me to work part time so I could be around to do childcare but yesterday we had a disagreement because I asked him to help with some housework and he said I'm an abuser and he's not financially supporting me. So I need to tell work I'm working 9.30-2.30 on Mondays and Fridays because I'm a healthy woman and I'm lazy only working 3 days a week. I offered sooo many times to work more, he said no and said don't rush to work more, you don't need to. For context, we have no family near by and no childcare for school hols etc. He told me he's too old and ill to work more.

Honeypotbee- my comment was demonstrating that he can criticise me even though I'm a healthy weight, yet he's overweight and thinks he's superior, it's a fact that he's overweight. I've never shamed him. I don't care what weight he is and would never judge him for it or comment on it.

The reason I don't comment back is because I get nowhere by defending myself. I'm told I'm an abuser and I'm crazy/loopy. I also want to keep the moral high ground.

Get rid, he's not a partner. Partners don't bully you or belittle you, they (help) build you up. If you feel you can't manage without them then he is well and truly in your head and you should seek advice about how to leave emotionally abusive relationships. Women's Aid would be worth talking to.

The best diet you can go on will lose you around 14stones of weight overnight.
But you know that already.

For your own wellbeing, and that of your DC, do the right thing for you which doesn't involve salad.