Dating Thread 240 - Early Summer Lovin

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The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Bumblebee…he sounds boring and like he does not want to go the extra mile. I’d be mortified if I date was tallying up expenses on a few non alcoholic drinks. Also…same place as first date…You do not need to like this guy and good riddance. Move on and don’t beat yourself up about it. You are still young and will find someone more suitable 😘

@Bumbeebeebum this dating thing is an emotional rollercoaster. Have a good cry tonight and then dust yourself off and feel good that you are bravely putting yourself out there. It's not easy!

Welcome! It's a rollercoaster!

@Underwaterlife @PinkIdentity
Thank you for the encouragement. Really kind of you.

@LostidentityM MrS Facebook profile status = Divorced and his wife (separated for three years) was not on his friend list. MrS would allow me to tag my posts about us…and my selfie that I took of us. So no he was not hiding me from his separated wife.
I have just come to the realisation that he simply fell out of love with me but was too cowardly to tell me to my face or even text his feelings had changed.

@Ihaveateenager It does sound like he was definitely not with her then. I'm sorry, he just sounds quite weak. You deserve better.

@Ihaveateenager …It looks like he fell out of love yes. So sorry. In a way if he had hidden you like pp had suggested, it meant he could no longer go on even if he wanted you because he was not free. But he’s totally free now and he has behaved like an oaf stringing you along and dropping you rudely.
I still think you knew something wasn’t right from the beginning and we do know in our gut when things are not right. We would like stuff to be otherwise but it is what it is. I hope you see there’s nothing wrong with you AT ALL. It’s just that he wasn’t the right person for you.

@Harrypewter no. As much as I can tell he’s ready to move on..hard to know so early on.

on another note Id like to keep seeing him and see where things go. It’s now awkward to message man 2 & tell him as we were going to have a 2nd date..saying that he’s been v minimal in convo hence me seeing this guy!

@ANOTHERnewstart …as long as he lives separately from the wife I would not worry. But dating someone while you are undergoing divorce is always tricky…especially if separation is this recent

Right, I have a dilemma. Tinder keeps showing a woman with whom I have an, erm, funny history.
She was a neighbor when I was married, her daughter was best friends with mine, I ended up being very friendly, dropping and picking her kids up. But I pulled away when I thought things were beginning to become a little too friendly. There was a bit of a fallout post-divorce.
Culminating with her telling me off in a local pub.😂

Anyhow roll on 7 yrs later she's now back to being friendly, although both kids have now got new friendship groups and don't really get on.
Should I swipe right or left?

@Harrypewter swipe right, what have you got to lose at least you have something funny to talk about …

It's a small village.
Cringe.
I'm going to swipe right.

Do it … it’ll give the village something to talk about ahaha

seriously though I wouldn’t worry about that.

I'm not that important. 🤣
Anyway I've done it.
If she runs me over I know it was a mistake.😆

Can you be objective and think whether you're actually genuinely attracted to her or is it just the familiarity?

If there is definitely chemistry and you have unfinished business, go for it! And of course, hope she swipes right too ☺️

There was always chemistry.
That's why I backed off in the first place.

I've done it now.
So I'll see what happens.

Oh well in that case, do you still have her number? Skip the Tinder queue and message her ☺️

No, her number is long gone it was between 7 and 9 yrs ago...

I lost quite a few contacts a while back when I smashed a phone.

She'll either spot my swipe or not. It could take ages.

If she runs you over I will feel slightly responsible for encouraging you to swipe … so let’s hope not 😂

Harrypewter

I would ! You know what’s she’s like , you have chemistry and something to talk about on the date
win win win

The 6'6 guy was in touch yesterday asking about when we could next meet and apologising that the weekend 'ran away with him' with no detailed explanation as to why he wasn't available to speak on phone.

I said that it was ok, that we could meet next Monday (ex has been in touch to confirm he's having children). Nothing since.

Is it ok to message to say this isn't enough comms for me? Or do I just delete and block and give up. Or accept this as normal dribs and drabs before you meet IRL? I swear I wouldn't be asking if there wasn't such a dearth of eligible men in my area!

@5thWisdom I wouldn’t message again tonight but give him until tomorrow evening to confirm something with you. If you hear nothing I would just send something light saying that time is precious and you’d like to keep Monday free to see him but if he’s not available you’d rather know so that you can go ahead with other plans. We can’t possibly know for definite but my guess is that he’s chatting to others. Have you actually met in person yet ?

My personality is to just cut to the chase, I'm impatient and don't want to be led on. I'm happy to be upfront from the start. He's already been a non-communicator about talking on phone last Saturday eve.

I'm always being told to slow down hence seeking sage advice here.

If he's not wanting to pin down details then I get it. And don't want to be left hanging. It's just helpful to know what normal in terms of comms. If it's a case that I'm just not getting what I need, and it's ok to just communicate that, I will.

@Stepcount What is the latest with you? Is all ok?

@Stepcount apologies, no we haven't met in person yet. He keeps asking and there have been some ex issues on my part that have been a barrier.