Dating Thread 240 - Early Summer Lovin

[qqq82]

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Oh and 😘 to you too.

Im abroad , very tried and knackered after a 3am start

despite Balkan knocking loudly at my door for sex and getting back together (which I did provide as was horny) my friend spotted him on a dating app and sent me screenshot

I froze mine which is what I do when I might have something sexual going on

so he’s been told to fuck off

have to say it was horrible , horrible seeing his profile and just a horrible gut wrenching
my friend felt awful 😞

anyway these things happen for a reason so good I know

we live and learn
well actually I don’t do I

fuck I’m tired

Definitelycross

christ don’t feel judged

I’m the most stupid cxxt in the world (well that’s how I feel today )

VanillaSox

sorry to hear that Update

Worsy so sorry about Balkan -I totally understand that heart-wrenching moment -have had a few of those over the years.
Saw my exh today with his squeeze. She was OW for six years. He is now ill and she is playing Florence Nightingale. She is horrible to my (student/young adult) kids but so adoring to him and he is totally taken in. Bracing myself to support their bewilderment when he leaves everything to her and her kids.

You totally are not.

I can't get my head around how badly so called adults conduct themselves on dating sites.

You are great 🤗

VanillaSox
sorry thats utterly grim
got alot on plate x a lot of negative man mode floating , too much

Deffy thanks 🙏

I like that! Ha ha

Wait a minute…when did you have sex with Balkan??? I thought he contacted you and you didn’t want to go down that route? When we are horny and like the man too much this is what happens so do not worry and don’t criticise yourself, if you had sex with him…fuck it…you were horny too. Please don’t get critical and put it behind.
My question is because he has a profile on and still wanted sex with you. How do you feel now that you know? I would be horrified but in a way it’s understandable as you’ve been no contact for a while. How was it left after you had sex?? So many questions??? How are you feeling Worsy???

PinkIdentity

i know right 🙈
this week just gone
anyway mistakes happen
I’m ok , it was just really triggering and a bit fucking humiliating as my fuxking friend saw him online 2 nights after we fucked
was an old profile but …

really bad look

Vanilla …FUCK YOUR XH AND HIS OW…I want to see your kids get their goddam part of whatever money their dad leaves. I’m in the same position only that OW has not yet met my kids ( thank the Lord). It will happen at some point. Bitch has no kids and my xh is her last chance saloon at getting married. She does not know he’s got the snip, but she’s also 43 so… time running out. My xh is adamant no more kids for him. I am hoping Mr Serb gets his act together and behaves on the showdown day. I think he does love you but he’s an idiot. Does that make sense? Happens to a lot of nice blokes.

I had absolutely lovely day with MrEx today and he was just like all these years ago but we also talked about how hard his therapy is and how vulnerable he feels ☹️😞…I find it incredible he fondles me and grabs me in the street like a bloody teenager all the time after all these years. He’s really working at his stuff but I really don’t want to know much about it. He says he has never had to analyse himself so deeply. He sees him every Monday but we are doing something in the afternoon and dinner together.

Fuck him Worsy…I mean it. You have given yourself a lot more to him and never received similar. He knows this. Fuck fuck fuck him out of your life please. If you have to have sex with him again you need to think carefully if this is worth it or you are going to feel like an idiot afterwards because you have done so much work to lift yourself, exercising, drinking less, being more present, therapy…don’t let anyone destroy your super feel good Worsy work

We need to start ditching people who are negative, do not give us support , are crap sexually, people who can’t love us and never will or make us so insecure we feel ugly and proper cunts…honestly people. We need to move on

PinkIdentity

don’t worry this is the final nail in the coffin ⚰️

good for Ex and doing his therapy 💪
its not the easiest

I watched ‘Stromboli’ on flight
it’s Netflix about loads of people facing their demons on a med island
lead character is an alcoholic woman
maybe you watch together

I will check the movie out Worsy…

Remember we are always here and if you fall again…we have your back. I am the worst person to give advise on no contact and no falling again…I was shit at that and don’t know how one does it. I’d like people to understand how hard that is and how difficult it is for many of us. That doesn’t mean we are stupid. You are doing WAY BETTER than I ever did. And you do not lie to yourself or to your dates either.

I’ve hidden my profile on the apps. I’m not getting anywhere with them. I paid for Tinder (12 months) but have gone incognito. I’ve paused Bumble and Hinge. It’s soul destroying! Same men all the time. I don’t get likes much these days but I got hundreds last week when I was 250 miles away from home.

I really think this isn’t doing me any good and I don’t think I will get anywhere.

Feeling very lonely especially as I ended my 23 year marriage due to feeling lonely in that too!

Online dating is not for lonely people, because for the most part it is crap and will make you feel worse.

You need to online date when you are in a good place and already have the best life.

What is your life like generally?

What keeps you busy? Job? Family? Friends? Hobbies?

Build your life up to the best it can be without a partner and then you know you're looking because its a want and not a need.

A partner should enhance your life and not be your life
@TeaandLemonDrizzle

Tealemon …we all understand how you are feeling. A break is a really good idea right now. Take a bit of time out and change some routines…more gym perhaps and meet-up groups of things you like, more of the activities that you really enjoy and make you feel good. Take a bit of time to love yourself and do nice things just for you.
You can then go back to dating a bit renovated and out new pics up etc.
Big hugs from your fellow posters🥰🥰🥰

@PinkIdentity @SortingItOut
Thank you both.
I’m back to work tomorrow after two weeks off. It’s a very stressful job (massive workload and more responsibility for what I get paid for) which causes me to be very tired in the evenings. I’m
also starting a distance learning MSc this month so I’m going to be pretty much tied up with those!

I am feeling it a lot as I’ve lost all
of my close family over the last couple of years too so have no support and stbx doesn’t speak or communicate with me at all.

I think I will take some time
to look for another job but I really find OLD awful. It’s not the nicest platform to meet a man!

Tealemon…do you have kids? I decided to go on one to one holidays with each of my kids when I finally separated. It was a great time for me to be with no men and totally concentrated in seeing the world through each kid. Doing the vacation each wanted separately. I think the key is always not to be auto destructive and care about yourself deeply. It is brilliant you are doing MSc and fulfilling your potential. I think it is normal not to have contact with xh.

TeaandLemonDrizzle

agree with everyone that OLD is to be done when feeling robust and resilient

I think the fact you got more likes in a city is telling , you may be in a smaller pond hence lower odds Of someone decent ?

you can have a think about more real life ways to meet people maybe , no rush when you are feeling better ? Are there any towns near you you’d be prepared to travel to for dates ?

I’ve been for a long sea walk and I’m convinced that I’d be happier if I lived by the sea

maybe I’ll download tinder here summer time

Find some foreign sex obsessed men instead (😂)

Went out with work last night and the arsehole who messed me about and lead me on last year was there

I was fine when I was out but then when I got home I ended up sending him a load of messages berating him for what he did to me

I've managed to keep my cool about it all this time and finally lost my rag and it all came out

He hasn't responded

@qqq82 …is this the chap who works in your same company that you were going for a drink with this week??? Or is this someone earlier who also works in the same company?

Yeah this is someone I actually work with in the same department unfortunately
He really did a number on me
Lead me on for months, kept blowing hot and cold , then did the slow fade after we slept together telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship
I heard a few weeks afterwards that he was seeing someone else

@qqq82 …I’m sorry you went through that. I could understand a person not being a ready for a relationship but then hooking up with someone else straight after means he was just playing the field. I think you should totally ignore him to be honest. He’s never going to feel responsible for anything if he was in a relationship 2 weeks afterwards. These things only hurt you.
Be with people you love doing nice stuff and really like and forget the nasty people.
Did you see the other chap for a date??

@PinkIdentity I haven't and I'm not sure I'm going to
I don't feel I can take anymore knocks at the moment