Oh lovely, your DH doesn’t deserve the agony you’re putting yourself through.
I’m getting the impression that your relationship is too big a decision to make right now and you need a bit more time to work that through. That’s ok. There isn’t a right or wrong way to deal with this. You’ve been given some great advice on here and a different perspective to consider. So maybe just sit with it all for a bit, give your muddled feelings space to settle and try not to overthink it. Take some deep breaths.
In the meantime shift your focus to you. Right now it seems to be on your DH, which is hardly a surprise as he’s still making it all about him and you clearly feel responsible for his wellbeing (you’re not).
Firstly you need to give yourself far more credit. You’ve had your world turned upside down yet again but you’ve picked yourself up, got on with things on your own and started a business. You did that! And you did it all by yourself and for yourself. Feel proud - seriously - that’s pretty damn inspirational right there! You are so much stronger, braver and resilient than you’re giving yourself credit for.
Please read that last paragraph again until it sinks in.
Relationship aside, what is it you want? And you don’t have to have all the answers but what would you like to explore or change? Maybe write an ideal world wishlist and then pick one thing and give it a go. There will be up’s and down’s but just go with it - focus on what feels right to do, not what you think you should do. Time to put yourself first.
Understand the worries about cost but you’d be surprised what opportunities are out there once you’ve had chance to clear your mind a bit and can open your thinking. As suggested by PP, charities take many forms including cultural things such as museums and theatres, which may provide an added bonus of being able to see shows or being involved in events for free while volunteering, if that’s your thing. If you don’t want to volunteer then how about a walking / knitting / book / 5 aside football group?? Try and find local Facebook pages and take a look at sites like Eventbrite and Meetup for ideas to get you started. Consider doing some work on your mental wellbeing e.g. meditation / self help books / yoga.
Up to you how much of this personal exploration you share and in how much detail with your DH. Maybe think about the frequency you’re talking and whether the current set up suits you or if it’s really just for his benefit? How do you feel about always needing to be available for when he calls / to visit him?? Less often may give you some much needed head space to work out how you feel, allow you to explore some things for you; it’ll also mean it’s less of a chore and you can have more to talk about when you do speak. After all, it’s his decisions that have resulted in this situation, if he’s missing out then that’s on him.
If you do decide to share your exploration with your DH please pay attention to how he responds - is he genuinely interested and pleased for you, relieved you’re doing ok? Or dismissive, angry that you’re doing things without him or turning it around to make you feel guilty or feel sorry for him?
If he says you don’t care then don’t feel obliged to justify yourself just to make him feel better, that’s making everything about him again and is manipulative - if he feels bad then maybe he should think about why that is. If obvious that if you didn’t care then you wouldn’t be so hurt that he’s made the decisions he has without considering you and your feelings. He’s the one that needs to make the effort to build up trust but that will take time and he has to accept you need time and space in the meantime to process - if he’s genuine about putting this right then he’ll accept that and put your needs first for a change.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure you build your life for you and then see how you feel after all of that. One foot in front of the other and just get through a day at a time. Good luck - even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you’ve got this x