Unusual bank withdrawals all to girls names

[Toryjane]

My husband does our online banking ,he was away last week and we had an issue with our bank so I logged in. I have found lots of withdrawals ,I know nothing off & they mostly have single girls names beside them ! Does anyone have any idea what they are ,my mind is racing thinking my husband has been cheating .I can’t find anything online ,I’ve posted a few examples but there at least 10 other girls names showing similar withdrawals .he already says I’m paranoid but I have caught him on dating sites ,messaging escorts in the past .I thought this behaviour was behind until I found these .

Not even to put a higher value on themselves?

Cam girl or something like onlyfans imo. The fact that there are multiple to the same person in one day says to me that he is getting something from them (a chat, a video of x) and then asking for something more and paying again.

I think the issue is society accepting that men will rape or pay women to have sex into so women should just go along with it.

I think the issue is society creating a system where women are facing financial hardships much more often than men.

I don’t think the issue comes from women valuing/ not valuing themselves.

Is he into findom....perhaps

Yes I agree with you. I shudder when I hear of groups of young men on their 'stag nights' going to Amsterdam, or Prague or Thailand. That is why I have never gone on one. I find it abhorrent that the most value young women possess to whole societies is to go into the sex industry just because they are good looking, without regard to their wider potential as scientists, doctors, politicians or astronauts. What a waste.

I've already said if people are genuinely concerned about trafficking and violence against sex workers legalised brothels would stamp that out

But it doesn't. Both the expansion of the market and the normalisation of sex work means there is more trafficking. Especially in richer countries because men can afford to buy more women's 'consent' for more money.

And, repulsively, there is always a market for things which even the most ardent supporters of legalisation wouldn't actually want to be seen advocating for. In terms of risk, acts and age. I'll leave that up to everyone's imaginations.

But yes, keep clinging to the trope of the sex-obsessed happy sex worker who does it because she wants to, has no trauma or addictions, no sexual abuse in childhood, no pimp, no debts, no survival sex work, nothing else. MAYBE 1 in a 1000 women is like that.

When studies were done, men don't ask. Punters don't actually care IRL if the women are trafficked. Because they know it's a strong likelihood and if they actually had to confront the fact that they are rapists, they might lose their hard-on. Read some 'reviews' online. Men know the women are pimped and addicted. They know, they simply don't care.

legalised brothels
Brothels are only legalised because of the vacuum in which they exist. If one steps back to look at the bigger moral picture, as GrinAndVomit does, there would be no statutes giving it any form of space.

If alcohol had been discovered in the last 200 years would Sainsbury's be selling it? So then what about prostitution?

I think the issue is society creating a system where women are facing financial hardships much more often than men. You do realise most of the homeless destitute on the streets are men right?

It's difficult to have a conversation with posters who are just shouting their opinions saying the same outrageous comments about consensual sex work is 'rape' and all men this and all men think that and making sweeping generalisations about the industry and conflating trafficking to independent sex work or trafficking with onlyfans etc.. no one here is in favour of trafficking.. clearly. And shouting 'paid rape' or 'all men think this' is pointless.

When i was doing online sex work, camming, phone lines, i didn't have a raging drug problem or a pimp forcing me to do it or trauma, and the friends i made who were also working on the site were all pretty normal people who were just looking for some quick cash while working from home. We even have a chat group as we've stayed friends. And shock horror i actually enjoyed what i did the majority of the time, and even had guys buying stuff i needed for my craft business off my wishlist, so stop making sweeping generalisations about an industry you clearly know little about.

One woman was a professional dominatrix.. got paid up to 300 an hour to kick guys in the nuts and do humiliation, also did financial domination. She clearly enjoyed it, not something i could do but again more power to her. Her choice. Labelling us all as victims is getting quite tiresome. For those hard of hearing thats not to say there isnt trafficking or people being exploited but thats thankfully the minority and making sweeping generalisations about a varied industry is ridiculous.

You personally dont approve of it. That's fine. Feel free to rant on mumsnet and portray an industry as all awful and push your narrow one sided view.

What happens if a man is unhappy with his service, could he expect a refund?

Would you be comfortable with women being rated on trust pilot or trip advisor?

Would you be happy with women being forced to go into this “work” if they are on jobseekers and the job centre put them forward for it?

Would you be happy for it to be included in school’s careers events?

Would you be happy with your daughter doing an apprenticeship there?

When you’ve answered my questions, I’ll happily discuss your other points 😊

Will their ever be a point in society where it is considered that if a person wanted to offer pleasurable services at say double or triple the hourly rate that you would get either on national min or say $12 per hour ect.

The whole system was legalised no, pimps ect, all illegal activities none existent. Full protection for the workers.

Would there still be lots of people against the trade and why ?
Or would society then say it's up-to the individual ?

@Hawkins003 Firstly, 'pleasurable services'

Second, if you removed every woman from the trade who experienced ACE, addiction, trauma, trafficking, pimping, coercion and survival economics, every blow job would be a thousand pounds. At least. Because of supply and demand.

Third, who is doing this protecting? Police, having a laugh clearly. NGOs can't be trusted not to not use poor women in Haiti after a disaster so they're out. Paying people to do it, yeah, wait for the bribery accusations in 3, 2, 1.

It's a thought experiment based on bullshit.

I'll be honest with the way human nature is and how society is, I tried to fast forward to an imagined utopia where basically all bases being covered would society ever accept that some people would choose the profession due to either percieved riches, fame, eg only fans ect

Or would society be more of a moralistic society and still be against the whole profession etc.

@MrsTerryPratchett
I used the term pleasurable services as I was thinking of eg the dominatrixs like lady heather from CSI series

People keep talking about morals. It's not about morals. If people want to hang from the ceiling by their nadgers while being whipped with cables, I couldn't give a shit. As long as everyone is consenting freely and enthusiastically. That's the issue with this, free consent. Not morals.

That is always what men people are thinking about. I'm thinking about the dead woman I know who went out to work crying and with trach marks. That's the actual reality. And I've hung out in a dungeon. And was offered work by the owner. I politely declined.

Firstly holy smokes, and from the seems of it, TV is the glammed up perspective, vs real life which is more omg

Surely in utopia, men wouldn’t think it’s perfectly reasonable to offer money in lieu of enthusiastic consent?

Based on some women opting to do only fans, etc in the utopia if women offered the services and prices, and would be in full control of their business, and then if men wanted the lady's services they would pay x about, with the women in full control. That's along the lines I was thinking.

Why wouldn't the men just get a shag for free? I mean if the consent is entirely consenting, surely it would exist without the money.

The fact is that men pay so that a women who either wouldn't touch them at all, or wouldn't do the act they want, will and do. That's not free, enthusiastic consent.

Which is why the customers are the issue, not the sellers.

But then why do onlyfans ?

I could be wrong but I presume the lady's would offer a service or a particular set of services that people may not be able to achieve with their partners or if the men are single and want to try different activities, eg food fetish (sploshing) etc.

Then as there would be demand, then the women could capitalise on the demand or desires being their, take advantage of that desire and make a business off of it ?

Plus why give something for free if safely, someone will pay for the service ?

Hopefully I've worded my points in a respectable way.

Plus why give something for free if safely, someone will pay for the service ?

When you've dated, and had sex, do you then charge because 'why would you give it away?'? Really? That concept only really works if you believe women 'give' men sex. Which only really works if men are universally shit in bed.

Frankly if men as a whole tried a bit harder to be better in bed, and tried a bit harder to be safer as a sex to be around, they'd get laid a lot more. Because shit, dangerous one night stands don't appeal. Safe, enjoyable ones would have (back when I was young and single).

If men truly believe paid sex is great, why aren't they all offering up their mouths and arses? It's just a service and why not?

All fair points, and much appreciated for the perspectives.

Sorry but these look like cam girls and escorts etc. 19 years of a relationship would be done and dusted if I found this on dhs bank account. Regardless of his bulls:/t excuses