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Original poster

Unusual bank withdrawals all to girls names

398 replies

Toryjane · 06/03/2023 15:41

My husband does our online banking ,he was away last week and we had an issue with our bank so I logged in. I have found lots of withdrawals ,I know nothing off & they mostly have single girls names beside them ! Does anyone have any idea what they are ,my mind is racing thinking my husband has been cheating .I can’t find anything online ,I’ve posted a few examples but there at least 10 other girls names showing similar withdrawals .he already says I’m paranoid but I have caught him on dating sites ,messaging escorts in the past .I thought this behaviour was behind until I found these .

Unusual bank withdrawals all to girls names
Unusual bank withdrawals all to girls names
Unusual bank withdrawals all to girls names
OP posts:
SueG60 · 07/03/2023 17:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Why would see contact the bank? They will say it’s a joint account, have you asked the other names on the account if they recognise the transactions etc so that’s the first step.

And I think it’s pretty obvious that the transactions were authorised by her husband so there’s no fraud there. It’s got nothing to do with the bank at all really.

deadhighbungalow · 07/03/2023 17:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

muckandmerriment · 07/03/2023 17:52

OP you mentioned he has had gambling issues before. Are the payments bets?

SlightlyJaded · 07/03/2023 18:15

I think it's clear OP is not coming back...

SomersetDreams · 07/03/2023 18:16

It MIGHT be to the Barclays Female Staff????!!! hm....

highfidelity · 07/03/2023 18:20

SueG60 · 07/03/2023 17:30

I think their point is that the guys who tend to purchase these sorts of services have addiction issues so they aren’t in control of their actions, and the women exploit that.

Its not morally right what they do, even if it’s legal. In the same way that bookmakers are free to offer their services to people who enjoy having a bet for fun, but they should intervene when they spot patterns of behaviour that are problematic rather than just blaming the addict.

Show quote history

But why should they intervene? Because it's the morally correct thing to do? Regrettably, life doesn't work that way. In any respect. No-one is going to refuse an opportunity to make money.

Am not condoning any of this at all, but I think you are being shocking naive.

highfidelity · 07/03/2023 18:20

*shockingly

chipndip · 07/03/2023 18:29

Fishingintheyemen · 07/03/2023 17:19

@chipndip you might work part time in the industry but youre clearly not as clued up as you think you are. Findom might be a tiny part of the industry but its a massive part of the online domination industry, to the point that now there are probably more findoms than subs, especially with the rise of the internet and the myriad ways and ease of sending money. You're also clearly unaware of blackmail contracts and homewrecking, or debt contracts drawn up by findoms? And how gateaway kinks can lead to more harmful findom/blackmail kinks.

Its fine saying report extortion, imagine being a guy who is being extorted and reporting and exposing himself as someone who was into these kinks?

Its relatively easy for an online consensual kink to turn into extortion and taking advantage. We can say these guys are idiots all we like, but there needs to be boundaries that aren't squashed or real life consequences understood, the findom has to act responsibly and step back if the guy is clearly mentally unwell or addicted.

You'd be surprised what I know, and it most certainly not for to tell me that I am not as clued up as I think I am. I know enough to know that I don't think the OP's husband is a pay pig or even has any kind of kink with regards to being financially dominated.

Again, you're talking about very specific kinks with regards to blackmailing and home wrecking, and the payments made don't make me think the OP's husband is into that either. Why? Because the amounts of money being paid out haven't been noticed until now, nor are the sums particularly great. If the escort/escorts and the OP's husband involved were seriously into blackmailing and/or home wrecking, OP wouldn't just be finding all this evidence now.

But yes, what do I know? 🤷🏻‍♀️

SueG60 · 07/03/2023 18:33

highfidelity · 07/03/2023 18:20

But why should they intervene? Because it's the morally correct thing to do? Regrettably, life doesn't work that way. In any respect. No-one is going to refuse an opportunity to make money.

Am not condoning any of this at all, but I think you are being shocking naive.

Show quote history

We have lots of laws and regulations in place to protect vulnerable people (which is potentially what this is), 'no-one is going to refuse an opportunity to make money' could be applied to dealing drugs or all sorts of other illegal/immoral practices so just because you could make money from something doesn't mean you should.

Its just one of those areas which has become a 'thing' in the online age and it will probably take legislators time to catch up, I'd be surprised if there's not some legal protection brought in at some point.

highfidelity · 07/03/2023 18:41

SueG60 · 07/03/2023 18:33

We have lots of laws and regulations in place to protect vulnerable people (which is potentially what this is), 'no-one is going to refuse an opportunity to make money' could be applied to dealing drugs or all sorts of other illegal/immoral practices so just because you could make money from something doesn't mean you should.

Its just one of those areas which has become a 'thing' in the online age and it will probably take legislators time to catch up, I'd be surprised if there's not some legal protection brought in at some point.

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Oh, absolutely. I know/agree with this. But, I do think this is all moot unless OP's husband is proven to be a vulnerable person.

Hopefully legislation will catch up, sooner, rather than later.

LilyPAnderson · 08/03/2023 23:36

Naunet · 07/03/2023 09:02

Why should they care about these men?! They’re just scumbag punters.

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So they get the reputation as being discreet and so the men keep coming back. The men usually leave reviews of the girls, and discretion is probably a reason to choose a service.

LilyPAnderson · 08/03/2023 23:40

SueG60 · 07/03/2023 17:30

I think their point is that the guys who tend to purchase these sorts of services have addiction issues so they aren’t in control of their actions, and the women exploit that.

Its not morally right what they do, even if it’s legal. In the same way that bookmakers are free to offer their services to people who enjoy having a bet for fun, but they should intervene when they spot patterns of behaviour that are problematic rather than just blaming the addict.

Show quote history

I knew a woman who didn't enjoy 'intimate pleasures' any more for health reasons, and she was happy her husband went to a business where they both knew where they stood, than having an affair.
I don't think the women exploit the men, any more than people exploit others in everyday life.

Hawkins003 · 08/03/2023 23:51

With the rise of onlyfans, and empowering women, men and others does that mean it's the women, men, and others that are rinsing the punters ?

LilyPAnderson · 09/03/2023 00:42

TheGander · 07/03/2023 15:56

I have some sympathy for @Fishingintheyemen argument. Drug dealers aren’t popular, but these women are selling a kind of drug and also contributing to a toxic image of women and their sexuality, in the mind of the punters. This has a knock on effect on other women- those who find their partners have weird expectations of sex, or are financially affected. At the extreme end are those who suffer the IRL sexual violence of men addicted to extreme porn.

What's it for you to tell women their type of sexuality is toxic? They're providing a sought after service. Would you rather men lie to women to get what they want or force them into it, or a situation where both people are honest about what's in it for them?
If it is what people are saying, maybe he does have a problem, but isn't it better it's with women who aren't emotionally involved, and if him and OP want to work things out, then at least he's not involved with women more than financially.
Should we ban shops because some people can't control their spending?

GrinAndVomit · 09/03/2023 07:29

LilyPAnderson · 08/03/2023 23:40

I knew a woman who didn't enjoy 'intimate pleasures' any more for health reasons, and she was happy her husband went to a business where they both knew where they stood, than having an affair.
I don't think the women exploit the men, any more than people exploit others in everyday life.

Show quote history

A woman’s body is not a business.
Payment is not consent.

GrinAndVomit · 09/03/2023 07:30

LilyPAnderson · 09/03/2023 00:42

What's it for you to tell women their type of sexuality is toxic? They're providing a sought after service. Would you rather men lie to women to get what they want or force them into it, or a situation where both people are honest about what's in it for them?
If it is what people are saying, maybe he does have a problem, but isn't it better it's with women who aren't emotionally involved, and if him and OP want to work things out, then at least he's not involved with women more than financially.
Should we ban shops because some people can't control their spending?

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You think our only options as women is to support sexual exploitation of other women or accept we will be raped?

Gross

NowAAT · 09/03/2023 09:02

Is OP coming back?

amberedover · 09/03/2023 10:33

I don't think she is .Makes me think that her enquiries have not thrown up any innocent explanations and she's too shocked or embarrassed to report back .
Awful for her ,hope she has support and is holding up .

LilyPAnderson · 09/03/2023 12:25

GrinAndVomit · 09/03/2023 07:30

You think our only options as women is to support sexual exploitation of other women or accept we will be raped?

Gross

Show quote history

You have managed to twist that. Do you think men don't lie to women or worse to get what they want? If the answer is yes some do, then my reply was valid. I didn't say it was the only options. I was replying to people who seemed to think it shouldn't be allowed, or was always bad for men to pay women for what they want, and the woman to get the money she wants.
All I was saying was that sometimes it's more healthy for both people to know where they stand and get what they want, than for one side to be dishonest. It could also be dishonest on the woman's side, as some women use men for money. I didn't say all, if you want to twist that.

LilyPAnderson · 09/03/2023 12:29

I would rather my husband didn't do anything on the side, but if he did, then I would be less traumatised if it was with a woman who had no emotional attachment to him such as a massage parlour or online cam thing, than an affair where he was lying he would leave his wife etc.
Although if he was spending more money than he could spare, then it would be an addiction he needs treatment for.

monsteramunch · 09/03/2023 12:32

@LilyPAnderson

If my partner was cheating I would rather he did so because he fell for someone rather than just wanting to pay for access to women's bodies.

The former would be so hurtful and show me he didn't respect me (and I would personally leave if he cheated) but the latter would absolutely disgust me and make me see him as someone who doesn't respect me or women in general.

GrinAndVomit · 09/03/2023 12:33

LilyPAnderson · 09/03/2023 12:29

I would rather my husband didn't do anything on the side, but if he did, then I would be less traumatised if it was with a woman who had no emotional attachment to him such as a massage parlour or online cam thing, than an affair where he was lying he would leave his wife etc.
Although if he was spending more money than he could spare, then it would be an addiction he needs treatment for.

That’s because you don’t see those women as valid human beings. You’d rather your husband paid women, who have no other options, to ejaculate into them than for him to form a consensual romantic relationship because it hurts YOUR feelings less.
Gross

LilyPAnderson · 09/03/2023 15:02

GrinAndVomit · 09/03/2023 12:33

That’s because you don’t see those women as valid human beings. You’d rather your husband paid women, who have no other options, to ejaculate into them than for him to form a consensual romantic relationship because it hurts YOUR feelings less.
Gross

Show quote history

Stop twisting what I say and telling me your weird version of what you're telling me I think. I'm not going to waste any more time replying to you.

LexMitior · 09/03/2023 15:03

It's a logical extension of what you said. Is there a reason that you disagree?

ThereIbledit · 09/03/2023 15:11

@LilyPAnderson

I would like to hope that I had better standards for a partner than one who was ethically okay with seeing sex and sexual "services" as transactional.