Unusual bank withdrawals all to girls names

[Toryjane]

My husband does our online banking ,he was away last week and we had an issue with our bank so I logged in. I have found lots of withdrawals ,I know nothing off & they mostly have single girls names beside them ! Does anyone have any idea what they are ,my mind is racing thinking my husband has been cheating .I can’t find anything online ,I’ve posted a few examples but there at least 10 other girls names showing similar withdrawals .he already says I’m paranoid but I have caught him on dating sites ,messaging escorts in the past .I thought this behaviour was behind until I found these .

This screams fin dom to me! I’m so sorry OP. I hope he’s decent enough to be honest with you.

Only fans!

No way is this anything to do with crypto purchases. If it was it would state the name of the platform provider, e.g. Bitcoin.com, Paybis, Coinbase, etc and it's always their name that shows on the bank statement. Look into the list of payees which should give details of the recipients. Google their sort codes and see what comes up. I would speak with bank and say you don't recognise those transactions. Sorry OP, but everything points to him using cam girls or prostitutes. Once a cheat always a cheat.

I reckon the people saying pay pig are spot on. I don't know why men do it, if they want to find someone who wastes all their money they just need to marry someone like my ex-wife 😂

so are these the only debits on the account? why does it not also show other normal payments? there must have been some in the dates between the various Maria/Marian ones for example, or are you able to sort by name?

I don't think it's cam. It's lap dancers. £20 a go is a basic strip, I have a friend who dances and she often gets men to bank transfer her directly so she doesn't have to pay the club a % of it.

And the 900...again, think its lapdancers as you can pay money to spend X amount of hours in a private room with a dancer. Most clubs that doesn't mean anything more sexual just the 1:1 experience and attention of half naked women all night

I would immediately transfer all of that money from the account into a different account and then contact the bank and ask to speak to the fraud department. I'd then tell your husband that's what you were doing and you'd be contacting the police. His reaction will tell you absolutely everything you need to know, but I think you know what this is already.

He's using family money to pay for his fetishes. Taking money away from his own children to pay these women. He's a pig alright!

Oh, OP, I hope you have someone to lean on IRL. This looks pretty bad.

If the op hubbie is doing something with online women sure he's gross and its bang out of order, but why is it always condemnation of the guy in these situations? And no blow back on the women doing financial domination or homewrecking basically taking advantage of guys who either have addiction issues or are messed up clearly? Why do we give a free pass for women who think its ok to literally drain a guys bank account and leave him in debt? Or get him to send money from joint accounts which is literally encouraged by some of these findoms online, or offer blackmail contracts to these sad blokes? Its always oh the guy is a pig, no judgement on the online worker gleefully rinsing a guy or breaking up a marriage? These blokes clearly have a problem and cant stop and no one is bothered about the women pouring petrol on the fire?

The women aren't doing any homewrecking or forcing anyone to spend any money.

If men are willing to pay women an obscene amount of money to act for an hour that's on them.

Don't be so ridiculous, no-one is forcing the OP's husband to do anything he doesn't want to do. Being a pay-pig is a specific kink, and why there are people who offer this kind of service. Why condemn them for providing a service that is wanted? That's what capitalism and a free market economy is all about.

But we don't even know for certain if the OP's husband is a pay pig anyway - this is all pure speculation 🤷🏻‍♀️

The instant he has turned the issue back to you & started to make you question yourself is the red flag.
If there is nothing to hide his answer when questioned would be oh it is for such & such but with it being the exact same amount of money each time despite it being a different girls name I’m calling bullshit on him & telling you straight he is seeing an escort or prostitutes!
Has he even explained where the payments are going or has he continues to blame you for being paranoid to deflect the attention away from him?

I have some sympathy for @Fishingintheyemen argument. Drug dealers aren’t popular, but these women are selling a kind of drug and also contributing to a toxic image of women and their sexuality, in the mind of the punters. This has a knock on effect on other women- those who find their partners have weird expectations of sex, or are financially affected. At the extreme end are those who suffer the IRL sexual violence of men addicted to extreme porn.

Just tell him you think the account has got fraud on it, and you need to contact the bank, you may be able to tell from his reaction, looks like a cam girl addiction!

Why is this thread still going when the OP has only posted twice, and the last 200 posts are all saying the same thing 🤦‍♀️

Possibly onlyfans?

@GoodChat and @chipndip not saying all findoms or cam models do this, but to say none take advantage or extort is ridiculous. Have a look at the fetish clip sites, or if you don't want to delve into that go on twitter and search findom, or findom and blackmail, homewrecking, they're actually categories of these kinks! And they're bragging about draining or ruining people. Not saying these guys aren't idiots for getting involved with this fetish but clearly it's an addiction in a lot of cases or just messed up blokes and apparently its ok for these findoms to boast about putting a guy in debt or threatening exposure on their feed if they dont pay up what is asked? There's literally a woman on Twitter who posts about exposing to her subs wife or family if he doesnt pay x amount, so yes extortion and homewrecking is rife with this kink and its all fine as just capitalism and guys are idiots?

Your post is irrelevant. And if these services weren't available, the OP's husband, as well as other men would just find other ways to be relieved of their money. There's also a huge difference between findom and genuine exortion - if it's genuinely the latter, then the OP's husband will need to prove it and then he can get his money back. Considering the amount of payments made, it's clear that he is under no duress whatsoever.

I work in the sex industry (albeit part time) and most certainly don't need you to tell me about it. FWIW, pay pigs/findom are a tiny tiny. part of it. Tbh, I would be surprised if OP's husband is an paypig/into findom anyway.

PS. Twitter isn't the real world. It's a carefully curated vaccum, particularly with regards to sex work and sex workers that want outsiders, as well as followers, to think what the tweeter is tweeting is real. It's smoke and mirrors.

I don't think so. You can put anything on the reference. Why would he use girls' names when he can as easily use acronyms? Maybe he is innocent.

I would go with @ThreeRingCircus idea! I would report it as fraud and let the bank look into it. Tell hubby that this is what you have done as it looks wrong, let the bank also find the truth of it. Then hubby will probably confess, it does sound like something dodgy. Possibly thought you wouldn't check?

@chipndip you might work part time in the industry but youre clearly not as clued up as you think you are. Findom might be a tiny part of the industry but its a massive part of the online domination industry, to the point that now there are probably more findoms than subs, especially with the rise of the internet and the myriad ways and ease of sending money. You're also clearly unaware of blackmail contracts and homewrecking, or debt contracts drawn up by findoms? And how gateaway kinks can lead to more harmful findom/blackmail kinks.

Its fine saying report extortion, imagine being a guy who is being extorted and reporting and exposing himself as someone who was into these kinks?

Its relatively easy for an online consensual kink to turn into extortion and taking advantage. We can say these guys are idiots all we like, but there needs to be boundaries that aren't squashed or real life consequences understood, the findom has to act responsibly and step back if the guy is clearly mentally unwell or addicted.

@Toryjane are you coming back?

I think their point is that the guys who tend to purchase these sorts of services have addiction issues so they aren’t in control of their actions, and the women exploit that.

Its not morally right what they do, even if it’s legal. In the same way that bookmakers are free to offer their services to people who enjoy having a bet for fun, but they should intervene when they spot patterns of behaviour that are problematic rather than just blaming the addict.