Boyfriend says he can’t sleep without orgasm every night!

[Orangesmartie1]

Is that normal? It seems to me he is addicted. I’m not really interested in doing anything every single night.

Plus we have a 3 month old baby and although I was more interested before I’m not in the mood at all at the moment as I’m knackered and just want to sleep and feel a bit funny in my body. I wouldn’t mind a couple of times a week but not every single night. If I don’t want to
he will sort out himself which is not exactly endearing in itself but he never pushes or complains.

He just literally won’t sleep unless it has been played with one way or another.

@CMO read it again - it's badly worded but she said he's NOT a not-nice person in many ways. I had to read it a few times too!

Yeah sorry wrote it quickly. Was trying to say in many ways he’s a nice person. This is the one thing that I’m struggling with. Like I said he isn’t being coercive but it doesn’t feel nice.

Not sure what you mean?!! But to wank not only in front of a partner (which is obviously wrong and degrading) but to wank when there is a child present ( I don't care how old) is fucking sick on a different level!!! It's just fuckin not acceptable in any way!!

@Orangesmartie1

I'm sorry but what a load of shit

Why have you had a baby with him he sounds un-hinged

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

No! Wrong advice! This is not normal! There is absolutely no way to normalize this!

@Terrribletwos this was in relation to the OPs reply, not her original post!!

I’ve read all your posts, but not all other replies.

First off, my bf is the same in that he struggles to sleep without an orgasm, and sleeps much better after one. Because of his job we’re often apart, and he’s completely open that he has a wank before sleep. So in answer to your first question, it’s not abnormal at all, and I think it is actually scientifically proven that the hormones an orgasm releases help sleep etc.

He’s a bit more intuitive than your bf, and can read going to bed if I’m not in the mood, he’ll sometimes verbally confirm it, and then we’ll just cuddle. I know that on occasion after I’ve fallen asleep he’s masturbated, as he removes the evidence in the morning, and I’ve got no issue with it as he cuddles me to sleep and doesn’t wake me.

I think reading between the lines, you’re unhappy with laying awake knowing he’s doing it next to you, the initial pestering, and the 5am wake up. So, I’d suggest these are the things you bring up with him.

• you’ve got no issue with the act, but he needs to go to the toilet/spare room/elsewhere
• no means no, please don’t keep asking.
• you’d really feel loved and sexy if sometimes he’d just cuddle you and leave it at that
• please, please, be quieter at 5am so you don’t wake us!

It’s not even pestering as such is just the literal fact he wants something every night in order to sleep so every night I go to bed I know he will want something and I’m just not interested at all at the moment. He is happy to see to himself but I don’t want to be part of the bedtime act every night. It doesn’t feel special it feels routine and that I’m helping him out. I’m not keen on my body being touched as it’s been sore and feels a bit alien at the moment.

Did you have sex every night before the baby?

Not every night but much more

He would be downstairs more but he is coming to bed early with me now as starting earlier (also tired) so I guess was doing his business downstairs then.

Did you want to have sex that often?

How old is he op because you talk about how you're much older, he's so innocent, he doesn't understand etc, like he's somehow excused from being an insensitive dick but unless he's 16.i think you need to expect more.

@SleepingStandingUp the thing is he isn’t an insensitive dick that’s the problem. I generally believe that he maybe has something like ADHD. He has some very unusual ways, well to me they seem to be but are completely normal to him. For example he sleeps with a pillow he’s had since he was 16 (now 33) he can’t throw it or use another pillow so it goes everywhere with him. It’s a gross pillow!

He also saves every takeaway tub or food container just in case, we don’t have any need and I Chuck away when he’s not there and he doesn’t notice. He wants to keep hold of everything just in case.

🤣🤣🤣

@Orangesmartie1 he needs go and see his GP. They can refer him for assessments for neurological disorders like ADHD, ASD, OCD etc.

It doesn't really matter with regard to this issue whether he has a recognised and diagnosable issue or not. Wanking to porn next to someone who doesn't want you to isn't a symptom of anything, and if he's got something going on that makes him so unable to respect another person's wishes that he can't go and do it somewhere else, then he's not capable of being a respectful partner.

If someone has ADHD, it doesn't mean you have to accept everything they do whether you like it or not.

I've recommended 5HTP/tryptophan/St John's Wort supplements, OP – good for people who need a wank to fall asleep. Or just melatonin.

I have ADHD in case it's not clear from my name. I felt dirty doing that every single night and it's not the most convenient anyway, so I went and found solutions on my own.

He wanks in front of his child?

Nah, this has to be a troll.

Hasn't happened to you, thankfully. It's not a troll post though. Has happened to others