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Original poster

Boyfriend says he can’t sleep without orgasm every night!

239 replies

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 09:00

Is that normal? It seems to me he is addicted. I’m not really interested in doing anything every single night.

Plus we have a 3 month old baby and although I was more interested before I’m not in the mood at all at the moment as I’m knackered and just want to sleep and feel a bit funny in my body. I wouldn’t mind a couple of times a week but not every single night. If I don’t want to
he will sort out himself which is not exactly endearing in itself but he never pushes or complains.

He just literally won’t sleep unless it has been played with one way or another.

OP posts:
whattodo22222 · 28/02/2023 13:50

Okay I just saw that he lies in bed watching porn next to you. That's grim. Sorry OP.

MaggieMagpie357 · 28/02/2023 13:50

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 13:36

He has no idea when I’m annoyed with him, he can’t read the emotion at all. Eg he will be home late as got distracted and I’ll be trying to make dinner for big daughter with baby crying for her bottle and I’ll be stressed and he has no idea that I’m annoyed. I will literally have to tell him I’m annoyed. He doesn’t understand body language.

This is also a classic sign of a neurodivergence, he should see a GP or at least do an online assessment to see if he meets some or all of the criteria.

This might also explain why he doesn't see anything wrong in what he's doing. I think he needs some help.

AllOfThemWitches · 28/02/2023 13:51

whattodo22222 · 28/02/2023 13:50

Okay I just saw that he lies in bed watching porn next to you. That's grim. Sorry OP.

Ugh I missed that. Gross.

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 13:51

@mintyclint

Maybe look inward too. Do you have a satisfying sex life yourself despite this? Are you getting your needs too?

Look inward? Is she getting her needs met? Does she have a satisfying sex life?

The woman is trying to sleep lying beetween a weeks old baby and a wanking dick driven manchild, and I can't think of two things much more likely to crush any sex life or needs I might have in one blow, can you?

mintyclint · 28/02/2023 13:54

It was just a question. If he’s wanking in his own and yes he’s being awful but I just wondered if this was the same as before the baby.

it’s not my place to judge as I don’t know all the circumstances.

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 13:56

@mintyclint my current needs are sleep and getting through the day with several outfit changes due to baby having terrible reflux. I’ll be honest sex is not on my radar whatsoever. I have anaemia due to a major haemorrhage during c section and my iron is still appalling.

OP posts:
randomuser2019 · 28/02/2023 13:56

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This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

cheshirebloke · 28/02/2023 13:58

Yes, orgasms make men feel sleepy and sleep better. It's a hormone thing, backed by scientific research.

No, it's not normal to not be able to sleep without sex occurring beforehand. And it's obviously unfair to try and use that to coerce you into sex.

Maybe a solution is to tell him to have a wank instead on the nights that you don't want sex? Although apparently, the science says that isn't as effective hormonally as full on sex, but hopefully it'll still be enough to get him off to sleep.

www.livescience.com/32445-why-do-guys-get-sleepy-after-sex.html

Travelfan2021 · 28/02/2023 13:58

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Badromancer · 28/02/2023 13:59

Why would you just lie there and not tell him you are repulsed? I would hit the roof and kick him out of the room.

You said you haven’t even told him you don’t like it?

WTF.

mintyclint · 28/02/2023 14:01

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This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

This

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 14:06

No I haven’t said anything I’ve been too tired and just ignored it. But it’s been getting to me. He’s a nice person and I didn’t want to upset him but I need to say something.

OP posts:
Monoplane · 28/02/2023 14:16

I can see how he's got into a routine as it will be making him sleepy.

But lying next to someone while they rattle the bed is not relaxing for you. And being asked for sex daily is a drag.

I had an ex who would ask every single morning and I can't stand morning sex. I would pretend I was still asleep very often. It was utterly tedious.

Can you tell him you will let him know if you want sex in the future so can he have a shower before bed and sort it out in there?

Jooliusreezer · 28/02/2023 14:17

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:22

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

Are you fucking kidding me? That almost sounds like a punishment for you for not ‘playing with it’.

Utterly vile.

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 14:18

If you can be juggling new baby and a child and cooking tea and feeling stressed out of your nut and feeling angry and he doesn't notice, then his interpersonal skills aren't going to kick in as he walks through the bedroom door. It sounds like he's got the emotional intelligence of a housebrick, and is going to need telling, really clearly, that this is a massive no no, and exactly why.

Whether you want to spend the rest of your life explaining really basic social and life skills to your partner is another matter.

Jooliusreezer · 28/02/2023 14:20

He sounds like an oversexed, ignorant teenager with no respect. I cannot imagine how you stand it.

Travelfan2021 · 28/02/2023 14:26

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This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Shoxfordian · 28/02/2023 14:45

He doesn’t sound nice to me; but you’ve obviously decided to have a kid with him for some reason. Doesn’t sound great

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 15:04

This thing he does is not nice but he’s not a not nice person in many other ways.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 28/02/2023 15:13

The things he does is who he is; he’s not nice and his behaviour is disgusting

CaIcobcman · 28/02/2023 15:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Botw1 · 28/02/2023 15:16

How have you got such low self esteem that you're allowing yourself to be treated like this?

Why are you minimising his terrible disrespectful behaviour?

And that's before you get on to the fact he isn't doing his share of parenting

Shushing the baby while you make a bottle is not enough

Johnisafckface · 28/02/2023 15:26

Grim.

CMO · 28/02/2023 15:43

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 15:04

This thing he does is not nice but he’s not a not nice person in many other ways.

You are contraductiing yourself. You say he is a nice persone but then say he isn't nice in many ways

Terrribletwos · 28/02/2023 15:48

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 10:26

He's lying next to a new mother and the newborn baby wanking and watching porn while you're trying to sleep?

Absolutely wrong! I would quite rightly feel degraded!