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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend says he can’t sleep without orgasm every night!

239 replies

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 09:00

Is that normal? It seems to me he is addicted. I’m not really interested in doing anything every single night.

Plus we have a 3 month old baby and although I was more interested before I’m not in the mood at all at the moment as I’m knackered and just want to sleep and feel a bit funny in my body. I wouldn’t mind a couple of times a week but not every single night. If I don’t want to
he will sort out himself which is not exactly endearing in itself but he never pushes or complains.

He just literally won’t sleep unless it has been played with one way or another.

OP posts:
Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:22

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

OP posts:
Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:23

he does pester first until I say no

OP posts:
SproutingAbout · 28/02/2023 10:24

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:22

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

That's not okay.

StarsSand · 28/02/2023 10:24

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:22

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

Oh yuck.

That's so disrespectful.

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 10:25

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

He does pester

Ah, well this is different than going for a shower and knocking one out at 10pm every night. Quite different.

OrlandointheWilderness · 28/02/2023 10:25

Oh no, no way on earth would I lie next to my DP watching porn and wanking. God how disrespectful. No no no. If he wants to why can't he go to the bathroom or have a shower before bed?!

BIWI · 28/02/2023 10:26

Pestering you is definitely not OK. I'd be very unhappy about that, as well as him watching porn and wanking while in bed with you.

The fact that you didn't mention this in your OP suggests that somehow you do think it's OK. It isn't!

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 10:26

He's lying next to a new mother and the newborn baby wanking and watching porn while you're trying to sleep?

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 10:28

No, this is not alright. You deserve more respect than this.

Tell him to get his sorry arse down the stairs onto the sofa. Joker.

elm26 · 28/02/2023 10:30

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:22

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

Yeah no, I wouldn't put up with this.

No issue if DH wants to sort himself out in the shower, he never tells me but to lay next to me and watch porn 🤢

AmandaHoldensLips · 28/02/2023 10:31

Grim.

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:32

Yeah it really does sound grim when you say it out load

OP posts:
Sunriseinwonderland · 28/02/2023 10:33

This kind of behaviour is why I don't have relationships any more. I'm sick to death of men's "needs". They couldn't give a monkeys about my needs.

billy1966 · 28/02/2023 10:34

Why have you had a child with such a pig?

Your life is not going to be a happy one with a selfish porn addicted sex pest.

Do not have another child.
Do not give up your job.
Keep your family and friends close as you are undoubtedly going to need their support.

heartbroken22 · 28/02/2023 10:37

You need to give him more responsibilities during the day. This guy sounds like he's got too much time on his hands.

dogrocks · 28/02/2023 10:38

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:32

Yeah it really does sound grim when you say it out load

This has to be the BEST typo ever. 😂

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 28/02/2023 10:39

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 10:26

He's lying next to a new mother and the newborn baby wanking and watching porn while you're trying to sleep?

Jesus wept.

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:40

@dogrocks yeah lol loud!!!

OP posts:
pontipinemum · 28/02/2023 10:41

Oh my God, your follow up post really changes thing!!

Tell him not to pester you, you will let him know when you are interested. And that if he wants to sort himself he needs to go to the bathroom. To be honest he should not need to be told that!!

Does he do any of the night-time work with baby?

crackofdoom · 28/02/2023 10:42

Nothing more annoying than trying to drift off to sleep (and you must be knackered) to the bed rhythmically jolting, let alone the presumably audible noise of a porn soundtrack 🙄. Banish him elsewhere.

DarkShade · 28/02/2023 10:42

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:22

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

Ok, wow. This is the real problem. Did he always do this, even pre-DC? I ask because I think you want to figure out whether he's bulldozing you now, knowing you have no energy to fight him on it. Either way that's massively disrespectful. Also hang on - does your 3 month old sleep in the same room as you??

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:43

He is helpful he isn’t as awful as he sounds. He gets up very early so can’t really do much at night. I have another child also. He is quite innocent really I’ve a few more years on him.

OP posts:
sianiboo · 28/02/2023 10:44

@Sunriseinwonderland I have to agree with you. My boyfriend of 13 years has as medical condition (not impotence, not life threatening) which means we can't have sex anymore and at the age of 54 I couldn't be happier with it! If he does wank (and I assume he does) he's discrete about it. I told him right at the beginning of the relationship (when we were still having sex) that if I ever caught him wanking next to me in bed (and I'm a terrible sleeper, the slightest thing wakes me up) the relationship would be over. It's beyond grim.

OP, your boyfriend is disgusting and childish. Shame you've had a child with him. I wouldn't be having any more.

MamOfFive · 28/02/2023 10:44

He watches porn right next to you? 🤮 nah that's grim!

The least he can do is go to another room.

DarkShade · 28/02/2023 10:44

Unless by 'a few more years on him' you mean that he is 13 years old, he is too old to be watching porn and wanking in bed next to a new mum.