Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Boyfriend says he can’t sleep without orgasm every night!

239 replies

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 09:00

Is that normal? It seems to me he is addicted. I’m not really interested in doing anything every single night.

Plus we have a 3 month old baby and although I was more interested before I’m not in the mood at all at the moment as I’m knackered and just want to sleep and feel a bit funny in my body. I wouldn’t mind a couple of times a week but not every single night. If I don’t want to
he will sort out himself which is not exactly endearing in itself but he never pushes or complains.

He just literally won’t sleep unless it has been played with one way or another.

OP posts:
randomuser2019 · 28/02/2023 12:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

2bazookas · 28/02/2023 12:44

So , are you committed to a lifetime of bedtime wanking every single night? Or will you settle for him having a steathy wank while settling his child to sleep. Or perhaps while watching East Enders with the PILs.

fUNNYfACE36 · 28/02/2023 12:44

Hiw dies he pester you?

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 12:44

If I was in a room with a baby and I was upset, even if I ordered, begged and pleaded with my partner to stick some porn on and have a wank next to us he would take me to the nearest psych unit.

It's really really questionable behaviour OP.

GoldDuster · 28/02/2023 12:45

Upset new mothers and tiny babies in close proximity is not solo porn sexy time.

Cherrysoup · 28/02/2023 12:52

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 10:22

Yes he does it in the bed next to me and watches porn on his phone which tbh really upsets me but I’m too tired so fall asleep.

Gross. He's a sex pest. Very unattractive.

GrumpyPanda · 28/02/2023 12:53

Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 09:18

Ok sounds all normal then. I just wondered if it was normal to not be able to sleep without it but I guess it’s like someone mentioned it’s just part of his bedtime routine. It doesn’t help that Im up with the baby all night and he isn’t so Im too tired to play and just want to sleep when I can.

Bit odd but I take nightly cold showers to relax for sleep so I guess I'm every but as odd.

GrumpyPanda · 28/02/2023 12:55

Eew. Just saw your update. Better tell him to take a cold shower INSTEAD. Better yet, pour some cold water on him if he doesn't take it to the bathroom.

WilsonMilson · 28/02/2023 12:55

Urgh, you’re not simply there to service him. Who even wants any sort of sex at all with a 3 month old??

How immature and deeply unsexy he is. Tell him to have a wank in the bathroom if he’s that desperate, but honestly, his need to play with his todger before he can sleep would put me right off him. Just no.

cappuccinocuppa · 28/02/2023 12:57

My reply would have to be aww diddums for you.

countrypunk · 28/02/2023 12:57

Men - yes, of course not all men actually do this - are taught to prioritise their sexual desires above all else. Women are taught that our desires don't matter and are secondary to men's. To see this in action, all you need to do is spend 2 minutes on a porn site.

It is absolutely revolting and incredibly disrespectful to you that your partner thinks it's alright to wank next to you in bed to porn. Especially after you've just given birth to his baby. That he can actually get turned on in this situation is sickening.

You deserve so much more than this OP.

anythinginapinch · 28/02/2023 12:58

Your OP is a dick

Badromancer · 28/02/2023 12:58

He would be gone if he was my OH. How utterly disrespectful. He watches porn on silent & wanks right next to you & your newborn baby in bed? Repulsive.

It is not normal to ‘need’ to ejaculate to sleep. If he wants to then fine, that is another story. But the human body does not medically ‘need’ to ejaculate in order to sleep. He may have a porn addiction or sex addiction of some sort. He needs professional help with this thought process and his warped belief.

Why are you tolerating this behaviour? Dare I ask, how is he in other areas of your relationship? How is he as a Father?

He sounds immature, disrespectful to you and unable to control his sexual urges and impulses. That combination can be very dangerous.

NiceParkingSpotRitaThanksJanet · 28/02/2023 12:58

What the fuck. Disgusting...Is your baby in the room?!

WilsonMilson · 28/02/2023 12:59

Sorry, what?? I only read the update after I sent my last.
So he lies in bed next to you and wanks while watching porn? While you are there???

That is a whole new low level of grim. Honestly, fuck that for a game of soldiers. No way would I put up with my DH wanking to porn while I’m actually there. The level of disrespect that involves is so degrading that I’d honestly be rethinking the future of my marriage.
You do not need to put up with that shit, and you shouldn’t!!

BringMeTea · 28/02/2023 13:07

Hope this is a joke. Raise the bar OP. Grim barely covers it. Do NOT put up with this shit.

Frankola · 28/02/2023 13:07

It's not normal and it's him manipulating you. There's no facts about what he says whatsoever.

ScreamingBeans · 28/02/2023 13:12

Oh Christ.

I'm glad I'm single and I hope my daughter is a lesbian.

The shit women put up with.

Chrimbob · 28/02/2023 13:24

Does he feel guilty about pestering a woman who has recently given birth every single night for sex? Does he feel guilty about wanking to porn in your bed? No he doesn't as he feels entitled to get what he wants and isn't considering your needs.

And yet you feel guilty about not delivering him an orgasm every day...

Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 13:31

@Chrimbob I don’t think he gives it much thought at all really it’s just normal to him. He doesn’t seem entitled to it he just carries on. He won’t mention it or ask why I say no or be off with me. He isn’t turning over and doing it as a sod you kind of thing. If he was being manipulative I’d have more of a problem. His pestering is childish not manipulative, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangesmartie1 · 28/02/2023 13:36

He has no idea when I’m annoyed with him, he can’t read the emotion at all. Eg he will be home late as got distracted and I’ll be trying to make dinner for big daughter with baby crying for her bottle and I’ll be stressed and he has no idea that I’m annoyed. I will literally have to tell him I’m annoyed. He doesn’t understand body language.

OP posts:
Beachhutnut · 28/02/2023 13:40

Good for him. Why is this your problem?

mintyclint · 28/02/2023 13:42

Maybe look inward too. Do you have a satisfying sex life yourself despite this? Are you getting your needs too?

maybe the relationship needs to have a bit of a microscope. Doesn’t justify this actions but maybe you’re both in need of some TLC and need to talk about that. Men are weird, women are weird too sometimes. Not saying you are but seems like you both need to talk and he gets a reality check.

AllOfThemWitches · 28/02/2023 13:45

Same

whattodo22222 · 28/02/2023 13:48

He's developed a sleep association. I struggle to sleep without reading. I think as long as he's not coercing you into doing things you don't want to, it's more his problem than yours. He could probably wean himself off it or create a new sleep association with time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread