Anyone had a bad experience in family court?

[IRememberMitmoo]

Name changed but long term poster.

I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who has had a horrendous experience in family court?

I'm really struggling at the moment trying to piece together what happened. The court case went completely out of control and I felt like not a single thing I said was being seriously considered while everything he said was given so much credence. He had absolutely no evidence to support anything he said and it was just believed and if I said something, I was treated like a lying criminal.

The judge raised his voice to me and spoke to me like I was a piece of shit on his shoe. It honestly felt like I was in some horrendous old boys club.

My solicitor was upset herself and she was even crying a little when we were in the car park outside. I was too shocked to cry in court or outside, but I've been in tears and having nightmares and panic attacks ever since.

It's on my mind night and day. If it hadn't been for my solicitor being there, I might have ended up convinced myself that I'd been doing these things.

Is it just me that this has happened to? I feel so alone in this. Did you ever manage to get over it? Any tips for how I can move on? I really don't get on with counselling.

Absolutely hear what you're saying.

I had a horrendous experience in family court. ExH went off with a much younger woman after 20 years of marriage. Told the court I was mental (no proof, professional job which I would loose if I had mental health issues etc). Daughter begging everyone she wanted to live with me.
Misogyny doesn't even begin to describe how they clubbed together.

Daughter lives with exH and I see her school holidays. She will walk as soon as she's old enough.

Our 15 year old lives with me. Refusing to see him at all. Yep, they separated the siblings.

So sorry for anyone else who has gone through this

This was some years ago now, so hopefully not, it seems there are many of them the same though, sadly. The child in question is in his late 20s now. It stays with you forever I'm afraid, just becomes less prominent in your thoughts.

That's awful. The judge believed you were mentally ill with no proof? How do you dispute allegations like this in court?

It's very scary to see how opinion based the legal system is and that you are at the mercy of an individuals biased uneducated opinion. It feels it's more on who lies best and obviously manipulative abusers have much better experience in this skillset 😭😭

I know of a case - The family court gave custody to a mother who was in a relationship with a proven violent criminal who had also be cautioned for being a peeping tom. He went on to abuse her children. Throughout their time as children the family court repeatedly restricted time with the children's father because it upset the mother who then took it out on the children. These overpaid ignorant rich overwhelmingly white male judges should not be in control of this process.

My time in family court was not great. I was LIP for a time, until I came up against a Jussie who clearly felt I was the problem, at which point I got a female Barrister. Same judge, turned out he hated women, so my next hearing I got an old sweat, old boys club Bartister who knew all the judges and it was a different story, like a completely different hearing.

Truth is it’s all like the old boys club in court, I did ok, until this judge and I would have continued to do badly with him if I hadn’t literally got “one of his mates”

Its absolutely loaded against women

I believe that entirely

Oh please don't worry about bringing it up. I started the thread, so I do feel that I need to get it out in some way - although it's hard and I can only do it in dribs and drabs.

Thank you so much for saying it has been helpful. If anything positive at all can come out of this, that's a big comfort for me. I hope at least we can feel less alone.