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Original poster

DP googling how to fix my boobs

162 replies

Speechlass · 21/02/2023 19:14

Just looked on the history of our shared computer for something related to my work, and saw some websites my DP has searched/clicked on.

These include:
•How will my body change after breastfeeding
•Tips to reshape your breasts after breastfeeding
•And how to fix saggy breasts
•"How to make breasts go back to normal after weaning" (a direct search)

I've stated insecurities about this before whilst breastfeeding our three DC, but not recently. He has made insensitive comments before but generally, tries to compliment me and tell me I look great. Just a bit shocked to discover this.

Should I mention this? Genuinely not sure if I'm overreacting since I have mentioned being unhappy with my breasts before. But also feeling very WTF

OP posts:
MotherOfPuffling · 21/02/2023 19:19

Maybe he’s doing this as he knows you’re unhappy with them and wants to be able to offer constructive advice?

Original poster
Speechlass · 21/02/2023 19:23

I'm not so sure. I haven't spoken of my dislike for months and the searches were made 10 days ago... no sign of constructive advice yet, unfortunately

OP posts:
Happygirl79 · 21/02/2023 19:25

He sounds very self centred

DuchessOfSausage · 21/02/2023 19:26

It sounds like he is trying to help you.
I think I'd feel a bit hurt especially at the word saggy, but only because I can be insecure about my body.
He probably picked up the search phrases from a web site unless you used the phrases yourself.
He might just be a dick, but I doubt it. He probably means well.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 21/02/2023 19:28

What type of insensitive comments has he made before?

CatherinedeBourgh · 21/02/2023 19:32

Unless he's brought it up with you then I would just assume he's trying to educate himself in order to be able to be supportive when you bring it up. If you complain about your breasts and he knows nothing about it, then he can't say much, if he's read around the subject he can offer 'helpful' suggestions.

In reality we all know that helpful suggestions are most unhelpful and the only thing a partner can do is make sympathetic noises and put up with the complaining, but many partner struggle with that and want to 'fix' whatever is making their partner unhappy.

Dodgeitornot · 21/02/2023 19:53

I think men have a tendency to want to fix things rather than hear out your emotions. I suspect this may have come up in a conversation somewhere at work maybe. It could be that he's noticed it and if he has, so will you and he's trying to find nice suggestions to help? Saggy is probably the hurtful word but that's probably what I'd type in too.
I don't know, he may well be an asshole but if you fancy it, start googling how to enlarge penis on his phone. That might make him talk once the ads start popping up.

Maray1967 · 21/02/2023 20:12

Dodgeitornot · 21/02/2023 19:53

I think men have a tendency to want to fix things rather than hear out your emotions. I suspect this may have come up in a conversation somewhere at work maybe. It could be that he's noticed it and if he has, so will you and he's trying to find nice suggestions to help? Saggy is probably the hurtful word but that's probably what I'd type in too.
I don't know, he may well be an asshole but if you fancy it, start googling how to enlarge penis on his phone. That might make him talk once the ads start popping up.

This is exactly what I’d do. Wait until he says something and say you did it - just looking for info for him just like he’s been doing for you.
Looks like I’m not as understanding as some - I’d be quite upset about this to be honest.

Original poster
Speechlass · 21/02/2023 20:17

Thanks for the perspective, I can see it from both ways so not sure how to approach it. To be honest, my boobs aren't even saggy they just have lots of stretch mark indents so maybe just didn't find a helpful answer?

Can't temper the specific insensitive comments. They weren't malicious. Have also had arguments over porn previously (mostly resolved) so anything regarding body image is touchy.

OP posts:
BalloonInvestigator · 21/02/2023 20:31

So he watches porn and now wants you to have porn standard breasts, you think?

JustDrama · 21/02/2023 20:33

Start you own google searches.

How to make a small penis bigger.

Whyisitsososohard · 21/02/2023 20:35

Nah I think people are being way to generous here. I would absolutely not be happy with this.

QueefQueen80s · 21/02/2023 20:38

Nah this isn't good. What were the porn issues OP?

ElfHasBeenSilly · 21/02/2023 20:43

Whyisitsososohard · 21/02/2023 20:35

Nah I think people are being way to generous here. I would absolutely not be happy with this.

Snap! Sounds like he’s been watching porn and wants to ‘fix you’ to those standards. Disgusting if so. Sorry OP, I’d take mine to task over this.

ShakespearesBlister · 21/02/2023 20:44

Well, why aren't you googling how to get satisfaction from a small penis?

mycatsanutter · 21/02/2023 20:46

I would be fuming over this . Bring it up with him see what he says

LillyLeaf · 21/02/2023 20:51

This is not OK. I would be really hurt if I found that on DPs computer.

Original poster
Speechlass · 21/02/2023 20:52

QueefQueen80s · 21/02/2023 20:38

Nah this isn't good. What were the porn issues OP?

So, I am aware of his searches from before as he let me look on his phone. Lots of big boobs, big ass, bbw- about as far from me as you can get, which was upsetting.

We have agreed to try to avoid porn and he acknowledged why I disapprove (many reasons beyond just this).

But I don't check to make sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
Speechlass · 21/02/2023 20:52

@mycatsanutter I think I will bring it up tonight. I'm calm but it still needs to be addressed.

OP posts:
Mamette · 21/02/2023 20:54

Whyisitsososohard · 21/02/2023 20:35

Nah I think people are being way to generous here. I would absolutely not be happy with this.

Agree

Scottishskifun · 21/02/2023 20:54

Your not over reacting at all!

It would be like him finding a Google search on your computer about making a Penis bigger! That would equally make him feel insecure and shit!

Blessedwithsunshine · 21/02/2023 20:56

This is much more serious than first appears, his insensitivity along with the past porn use means he does not have realistic expectations of normal bodies. How are you supposed to be intimate with a man like this op? Anyone would feel insecure in your position.

ItchyBillco · 21/02/2023 20:56

Speechlass · 21/02/2023 20:52

@mycatsanutter I think I will bring it up tonight. I'm calm but it still needs to be addressed.

Based on his ‘big boob’ porn obsession, his searches are totally self-centred and frankly, utterly insulting. You birthed and fed his children.

What a prick. I’d be crushed if my partner did that.

PolicyOfTruth · 21/02/2023 20:57

I wouldn't be happy at all if I found my partner has been looking at ways to "fix" parts of my body. I'd be raising it with them and if they couldn't understand, then I'd consider pointing out their defects and asking if they'd rather focus on fixing those first.

FrancescaContini · 21/02/2023 20:58

JustDrama · 21/02/2023 20:33

Start you own google searches.

How to make a small penis bigger.

😂😂 Yes, please do this!

Stretch marks fade, don’t worry about them. Just enjoy feeding your lovely baby.