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Original poster

DP googling how to fix my boobs

162 replies

Speechlass · 21/02/2023 19:14

Just looked on the history of our shared computer for something related to my work, and saw some websites my DP has searched/clicked on.

These include:
•How will my body change after breastfeeding
•Tips to reshape your breasts after breastfeeding
•And how to fix saggy breasts
•"How to make breasts go back to normal after weaning" (a direct search)

I've stated insecurities about this before whilst breastfeeding our three DC, but not recently. He has made insensitive comments before but generally, tries to compliment me and tell me I look great. Just a bit shocked to discover this.

Should I mention this? Genuinely not sure if I'm overreacting since I have mentioned being unhappy with my breasts before. But also feeling very WTF

OP posts:
namechanged221 · 21/02/2023 22:20

I'd be furious to be honest? Is he perfect physically? I doubt it.

Why don't you google

'How to reshape my boyfriend into a nice person'

???

Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 22:22

You should tell him whilst you are been so open about each others bodies you have always been disappointed in the size of his penis, that you have had larger before and its satisfied you better and you have done some googling yourself and ordered him pump.

See how he likes to be made to feel less then, hes a absolute arsehole who needs to grow up.

mathanxiety · 21/02/2023 22:25

So he thinks of you as a pot of play doh that he can shape as he pleases, and have fun with. Your body is his toy.

I'd start making pointed comments about some part of his anatomy he might be sensitive about.

But wait - surely only a man with the body of Adonis who was the best thing a woman ever experienced in bed would have the brass neck to judge the body of his wife the way he's doing?

Emmamoo89 · 21/02/2023 22:29

I think he's just wanting to support you x

Daffodil18 · 21/02/2023 22:33

I would be hurt but at least he’s being honest about what he wants.

My boobs are not the same after children so if my hubby said this I would be like fine well you pay for me a boob job then.

EllaPaella · 21/02/2023 22:37

JustDrama · 21/02/2023 20:33

Start you own google searches.

How to make a small penis bigger.

This

ItchyBillco · 21/02/2023 22:38

UWhatNow · 21/02/2023 22:06

Absolutely. I thought the same. It’s a rare male who is Googling those things out of pure altruism. I wonder what planet some posters live on.

I’d personally be googling good divorce lawyers. Who’d want to be married to a selfish piece of slime who equates you to a broken sex doll once you’ve birthed and breast fed his offspring? Ugh.

Show quote history

Yes, well said.

TicketBoo23 · 21/02/2023 22:41

so if my hubby said this I would be like fine well you pay for me a boob job then.

Why should she have to have a boob job becayse he can't accept her boobs, which he married her knowing we're not big, are still not big and have been changed a bit by breast feeding his children??

Abd is his body "perfect" and always going to be so?

Besides the principle; boob jobs involve anaesthesia (never 100% risj free), pain (unnecessary), healing - while trying to look after 3 kids, risk of a rare form of cancer, often gave to get redone after 10 yrs, can go wrong, may interfere with op veear feeding another child if she has another etc etc

But mostly - women's bodies, mothers bodies aren't objects to be fixed wheh men don't like the look of them as much - cause theyre not in line with porn actresses - after said woman has carried abd birthed and fed his children.

Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 22:42

Daffodil18 · 21/02/2023 22:33

I would be hurt but at least he’s being honest about what he wants.

My boobs are not the same after children so if my hubby said this I would be like fine well you pay for me a boob job then.

So she should have surgery to please a man, really? Should a woman not have that kind of surgery for herself, for her confidence, because SHE wants to, not because a grown man can't handle saggy boobs that have fed 3 of his children.

Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 22:44

TicketBoo23 · 21/02/2023 22:41

so if my hubby said this I would be like fine well you pay for me a boob job then.

Why should she have to have a boob job becayse he can't accept her boobs, which he married her knowing we're not big, are still not big and have been changed a bit by breast feeding his children??

Abd is his body "perfect" and always going to be so?

Besides the principle; boob jobs involve anaesthesia (never 100% risj free), pain (unnecessary), healing - while trying to look after 3 kids, risk of a rare form of cancer, often gave to get redone after 10 yrs, can go wrong, may interfere with op veear feeding another child if she has another etc etc

But mostly - women's bodies, mothers bodies aren't objects to be fixed wheh men don't like the look of them as much - cause theyre not in line with porn actresses - after said woman has carried abd birthed and fed his children.

Totally agree, awful advice. Why should the woman have to 'fix' herself because a man has a unrealistic expectations of a womans body.

UWhatNow · 21/02/2023 22:47

Emmamoo89 · 21/02/2023 22:29

I think he's just wanting to support you x

Have you read the thread? In fact, do you live on this planet? 🙄

Addictedtohotbaths · 21/02/2023 22:50

Sounds like the beginning of the end. A man that can’t appreciate and find you / your body attractive and amazing for what it’s done to grow and feed his children is a man that doesn’t deserve to keep you as his wife. He’s going to eventually experience ageing, balding, erectile dysfunction, prostate issues, overactive bladder etc but by the time he gets to it your compassion for him will be zero because he has demonstrated his superficial selfish lack of respect and compassion for you.

TicketBoo23 · 21/02/2023 22:51

Grizzledstrawberry · 21/02/2023 22:44

Totally agree, awful advice. Why should the woman have to 'fix' herself because a man has a unrealistic expectations of a womans body.

Show quote history

I forgot to list "are costly" as well .... You have three kids to support in a post COVID economy, and you'd be prioritising spending money "fixing" a healthy woman's breasts to look more like the porn actress's he watches, cause she made the dire mistake of vreat feeding his kids, which Syed have been advised was the best thing for them (if possible).

Anyone who manages to breat feed deserves a fkg medal .... Only in a western democracy could we be rewarding them with painful, unnecessary surgery to make them look more like a sex doll.

TicketBoo23 · 21/02/2023 22:55

*I suppose I shouldn't say western democracy... Since (even) worse things are done to women in non democracies; I'd amend that to "only in a porn soaked, superficial culture" ...

GoT1904 · 21/02/2023 22:56

Found you a bit more attractive before breastfeeding!!!! I'd be fucking LIVID.

Emmamoo89 · 21/02/2023 22:59

UWhatNow · 21/02/2023 22:47

Have you read the thread? In fact, do you live on this planet? 🙄

Show quote history

If my partner knew I was self conscious about my boobs and googled ways to help i would appreciate it

Prettybutdumb · 21/02/2023 23:00

JustDrama · 21/02/2023 20:33

Start you own google searches.

How to make a small penis bigger.

😄 This is brilliant advice

BlueSeaWave · 21/02/2023 23:02

BalloonInvestigator · 21/02/2023 20:31

So he watches porn and now wants you to have porn standard breasts, you think?

This, I can’t believe people are saying he’s trying to help FFS

RedDogBlueDog · 21/02/2023 23:18

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

LorW · 21/02/2023 23:29

UWhatNow · 21/02/2023 22:06

Absolutely. I thought the same. It’s a rare male who is Googling those things out of pure altruism. I wonder what planet some posters live on.

I’d personally be googling good divorce lawyers. Who’d want to be married to a selfish piece of slime who equates you to a broken sex doll once you’ve birthed and breast fed his offspring? Ugh.

Show quote history

This. I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way, it would give me the proper ‘ick’

Women are not sex dolls there to please men and their unrealistic standards. Don’t settle for this.

Original poster
Speechlass · 21/02/2023 23:56

Have read all the replies. Thanks, it's good have your feelings validated in cases like this without being told I'm insecure etc. Even the responses suggesting he was out to help have been respectful and not called me crazy. Much appreciated.

How old is he?

We are much younger than the average to have children, but in day to day life seem fairly normal otherwise. Not even a bad partner by any stretch but this one issue has caused problems.

OP posts:
Original poster
Speechlass · 22/02/2023 00:02

I think therapy is the best option now, s we have discussed already but if this was earlier on I'd have 100% have left, as others have suggested!

OP posts:
Pallisers · 22/02/2023 00:06

Does counselling or therapy make someone who is a Dick not be a DIck. I doubt it.

Eyerollcentral · 22/02/2023 00:09

Pallisers · 22/02/2023 00:06

Does counselling or therapy make someone who is a Dick not be a DIck. I doubt it.

Agree. Horrific response to the woman who has borne him three children. Stop being so reasonable about this. He is an absolute arse.

Dodgeitornot · 22/02/2023 00:23

I just want to give you a hug :( I'm sure you've got lovely boobs! He can piss off.