Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

👋

It’s SO hard. The highs are lovely, but the lows stink. Be kind to yourself.

Found you all!

@Eeksteek glad your sleepover went well, fwiw I agree with your approach x

@Definitelycross #8 was a complete c*#t and so out of order I can’t even. It’s not a reflection on you, but on him.

I did send a message to MrSilverFox saying it was lovely to meet him but it wasn’t for me.

Despite saying that I was also going to bin off MrWallSex I did not 🤦🏼‍♀️ I had another date, had my first kiss with someone new in over 20 years (weird!!) and we’ve been non stop talking/texting since 🤷‍♀️

Oh that kiss. It's so special ❤️❤️❤️

Definitelycross

he said that ! And Did that
darling he gets worse and worse

he’s a negger and had things continued he would have made you very unhappy
and that lovebombing

something wrong with that one

I have some coffee dates lined up

all 1 hour max , maybe 1.5

ones polyamorous but I’m just so curious 🤨

one I didn’t feel a spark on the call but why not ? It’s a coffee and he seems decent

one I think I’ll have to bin as he’s too far
but very cute

back on the horse 🐎
until I get jolted off 😂

Go you. As you say, you gotta keep drawing the cards.

FEELD may not be the app for me
I’m so vanilla !!!
but the chats are entertaining

not sure how I’m going to square having a coffee date with a polyamorist with my therapist 😂🙂

Worsy…nothing wrong with having a coffee with a sexy person. There’s no pressure and no hurry

@Definitelycross sounds similar to the guy I was on dates with. Something didn't feel right after the first date but on the later ones he made all sorts of comments about people shouldn't eat sugar, how fat people were so unattractive and had no self control, also how his "extremely large" 6ft 11 stone friend couldn't do certain things as he was a big guy and carrying too much, general fattist comments and then commented on what I was eating too and my body type.
Whilst it's definitely bullet dodged, it made me realise that many people out there would find my body type unacceptable.

@Dhama sounds great. It's funny how a kiss can change things. Good luck !

@Thisisworsethananticpated nothing wrong with a coffee date. Honestly I have met some of the most interesting people via OLD - interesting and varied lives and I enjoyed their company and learnt things too.

Oh my goodness yes to all of that!!! So similar. Mine was - I just want to look after your health. Jesus it could almost be the same guy!

First date I wore a fitted dress and he saw my shape very clearly and was incredibly complimentary. When we said goodbye, he hugged me and then ran his hands down the side of my body. So he knew exactly what I was on date 1.

How awful for you at your size too. I'm so sorry!

Definitelycross

he’s evil and I think deliberately set out to hurt you

I can’t change the bad way you feel I know

but he went for a nerve as he’s just NASTY and cruel

were there any signs
other than the crazy ass love bombing

Garysmum

true ! I love chatting to different people and filtering them and learning

the world is big and so many people

Thisisworsethananticpated
Good luck with your coffee dates. Just enjoy getting out and hopefully having a nice chat with someone.

Hello all, I’ve been lurking for a while but I thought I’d get some insight into my situation.

I had a pretty full on thing which ended in early Jan so I go straight back on tinder and found another guy.

With most guys after a few messages I normally get the ick but not with him. We’ve been on two dates with another planned for tonight but we’ve both had Covid and he has hobbies that keep him busy a few nights a week. The issue is I’d like more communication whereas he’s happy with a message mostly daily or voice note. He’s busy with work and some personal stuff though. I told him that I wanted more and he said that as he’s been single for a while he’ll have to get used to messaging more. Yet he still hasn’t bothered messaging me since last night. My friends say it’s clear he’s not that into me. There wasn’t that initial wow but he’s a lovely person and the sex is good. Our thoughts/ situation match but we haven’t laughed. I want to be silly and find a best friend who I also want to rip the clothes off. He lives about 30 mins drive away.

The second guy, I’ve been speaking to a lot but not actually met but done lots of FaceTiming. He lives like a 5 min drive away and seems a right laugh. He’s very complimentary and he’s got all his life in order. Our thoughts are also very similar however he’s 8 years older which is slightly putting me off. I’m meeting him on Saturday so I’ll guess I’ll find out.

I’m very honest and the second guy asked why I can’t meet sooner? He knows about the other guy and is fine about it as I don’t owe him anything. The first guy was annoyed when I’d let slip that I’d been back on tinder so don’t really want to mention it to him.

Would you all go on this Sat date?

HmmWhichOne
Some thoughts, others might have better ones.

Guy 1: date 3 this evening? You like him but he's not setting your world alight.
He also got annoyed that you said you were on Tinder. Unless you agreed to be exclusive then it's none of his business.
Are you excited to be seeing him this evening?
Why is it important to you that he messages more? Can you do phone calls instead?

Guy 2: you haven't met in person but so far he is ticking your boxes.
If you didn't know his age would you still want to meet him?

I would keep the Saturday date with guy 2. And then make a decision

@HmmWhichOne I would deffo go on the Sat date. I dated a guy who was 16 years older than me - had he not told me, I wouldn't have believed it - he was in fantastic shape and looked my age. He moved abroad otherwise I think I'd still be with him.
Also the first guy - I am a rubbish texter - I tend to text twice a day max. I can't deal with distractions when working and never have notifications on my phone so I have to actively go into texts/whatsapp. I never message people in the morning either unless its a weekend. Doesn't mean I don't like them - just means I am pants with messages. If someone told me they needed more, I would try though.

@HmmWhichOne cancel tonight's. He doesn't light you up and make you laugh. He got annoyed you were back on Tinder. Nope.

The other one? God I'd meet him tonight instead. Age wise wouldn't bother me but the spark would definitely make me want to explore more.

But then, as we all know by now, I'm not actually very good at this so.... 🤷‍♀️😂😂😂

@HmmWhichOne …I’m with Deffy on this one. The other guy doesn’t set you alight and you don’t want to rip his clothes off and he doesn’t make you laugh either. Absolutely go for Saturday date and I would see home earlier if I could

Mr Ex is really really low… issues with work, issues with his current living situation…so much stuff going on and nothing particularly good. He’s mentally exhausted and upping visits to therapy. I really know how much of this I can take honestly. I’m again worried about getting messages from him and I am kid free in a week and I am not sure what to do or if I want to spend much time with him. It’s sad but some people never get themselves sorted and drag you down in the process. I’m not feeling this guys…
I might be back OLD in spring time … I’m exhausted too. He’s beautiful and lovely but I think the magic is dwindling and I can’t see myself growing old with someone in eternal depression. I have to be extra careful of anything I say so I don’t trigger him…it’s limiting me and I can’t express myself in case he gets lower… anyway…sorry for long rant

Oh @Mila14 I'm sorry to hear this.
🤗

Thank you Deffy 🥰
I am a great believer of not forcing things and I don’t believe in changing the people. If it’s not working, we need to move on…
I hated OLD but I was seeing him all the time and never really gave it a proper go. I still think it’s really really difficult to find the right person in the right personal moment but we can only try and perhaps even enjoy the ride

Mila14

im sorry and I’m sorry for him too
depression isn’t easy and trust me I’ve had some dips since I joined the thread

I beat the shit out of mine with meds , therapy , exercise but I do think women get help from our friends too

the issue is how much this impacts YOU
both Balkan and my ex had depressive tendencies and it totally impacted me

your dating last time never took off as he was always there in the background

I’d say again the concern is how much his mental health’s impacts yours

not easy

Sending hugs @mila, not easy at all. I know you will do the right thing for you.

Thank you Worsy and LuckyLy. I’m very calm about it but I know how he escalates… he’s done it before and we broke up. Then I was heartbroken and had immense pain. Now…I think he will drive another lady crazy in no time but I don’t think he will change now…he’s 55. I feel he thinks he will not be able to date anyone like me ( he’s admitted this) and he know I feel the same. Fancying someone crazy and having brilliant sex is great but not if you have a downside that has the size of a sunken iceberg. He’s not medicated and is terrified of doing so seeing how it has affected his family and XW. And yes, we women are so much better at dealing with these things