Dating Thread 239 - spring fling

[Thisisworsethananticpated]

I couldn’t think of a decent as it’s been so fractious ! Will post rules shortly

Sorry Nelly !
if it’s any consolation my one iron cancelled me as I’m vaccinated (no joke )
and I texted ex to check he’s alive (he is , blue tick)

screw em x

"you know you he’s not that into you and very much was into her"

I don't think he was that into her. He seems to have delayed meeting her as well as he said she'd been asking him for a while.

Don't most people chat to more than iron at a time. Then arrange to meet as and when it's convenient to both of you. He could've met me first if I hadn't been busy last weekend.

Someone is always going to be the second choice if the first person you chat to doesn't work out.

However, I agree that he doesn't sound like he's really ready to date.
I'm just going to see if he ever gets back to me.

Meanwhile I'll continue looking. I'm not going to wait for him.

Lots of people multi chat but what they dont do is tell you about their other options and how they are drowning their sorrows with friends. At the very least, he should be enthusiastically arranging a date with you. If he isnt, for whatever reason, then there will be plenty more fish in the sea. Right or wrong, id want to be number one, or at least pretend i am!

Yeah that's a good point. What weirdo is revealing that you are one of many options and telling you all about the date they had instead of you.
NEXT!

Going back to @Eeksteek dilemma re when to have love interest meet teens. I've just thought it's actually a key bit of data that needs to be gathered. Irons of the past of mine were considered 'a bit of a nob' my teens later told me and therefore did not get to be with me long term. It's important for future proofing so I wouldn't want to wait too long

LostidentityM
"At the very least, he should be enthusiastically arranging a date with you"

That's it!! That's what's missing here. He's doing a lot of talk about what he's been up to and saying we should meet. But not doing anything about it.

If I had other chats, I would've binned him weeks ago.

Next!! If and when I can find one 🙄

Yes but how long would these relationships last anyway, with or without meeting. You wouldn't introduce any old iron. And Mr Maker is one you believe is the ONE so you want them to meet him. As I've said, I'd be waiting to see how the relationship pans out, but I can see I'm in the minority

Im more interested in MrMaker being able to see where I live and how I live than him meeting my kids. I know we have similar ways of living and style because I've been to his house but he doesn't know how to picture where I am when I'm home.
The kids will be here when he picks me up for a road trip in a couple of weeks so he might meet them but most likely they'll be in their rooms or out.
I'd like him to meet the dog more than the kids.

I'd like him to meet the dog more than the kids.

😂😂😂…it is absolutely brilliant seeing how cool and relaxed you are about Mr Maker. Very happy for you Oncey , you really hit the jackpot.

I totally understand you have been to his and know how he lives and now it’s your turn to show your home. You and him have similar lifestyle and are alike in many many ways.

It is very jackpotty @Mila14 (but I did buy many many tickets over the years and kissed way too many frogs). He didn't and yet feels very much the same perhaps even more so. It's a bit sickening I'm aware of that but mainly my girlfriends are full of joy for us as we make plans to drag each other all over the country to meet our important people (not kids!) so they can see what a lovely person we've fallen for.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Well, Mr LessThanEnthusiastic hasn't been in touch since Sunday when he said 'let's keep chatting and maybe meet at the weekend'.
So if he does get in touch I'll be telling him where to go.

Because, thanks to a few profile tweaks, with help from ForestLilac, I have some irons.

Mr FunnyButTooFar. He was only 10miles away when I swiped on Tinder. But lives an hour + away. I only discovered this after we'd chatted for a couple of hours. He's agreed to travel over to me so we can meet.

And three others who have messaged today that are local and seem ok, so far.

You let it drag on for way too long, and listened to him prioritizing other dates. This was never going to go anywhere. @NellyTheCake
For me effort reflects interest. It is minimal effort to spare 2 hours in a week for a coffee..

you both sound very smitten- so lovely!

I have just discovered these dating threads!! So hi everyone 👋

I am turning 30 this year and getting increasingly worked up about not being with anyone especially as a lot of my friends are with partners / settling down etc. Never had a serious/long-term relationship either…

I recently got back onto the dating scene after a v v long hiatus. Had 3 good first dates (I thought) but 2 of them said “thanks but no thanks” the day after. Only 1 led to a second date a few weeks ago. We had a good date but then he ghosted me for a week after. Then messaged me saying sorry but there was no spark. Really feel like giving up to be honest!!

I deleted bumble and re-downloaded hinge for the 100th time but I just don’t match with anyone!! And hardly get any likes. Also the limited daily likes is v annoying, and I am not paying £34 to get more! My friend said that it’s normal on hinge not to get matches/likes for a while… is this true?

This makes my heart burst. It is so lovely and I’m so happy for you 🥰

I totally get the feeling of wanting everyone to meet them so they can see how fab they are. My neighbour caught me about MrF the other day to say how wonderful she thinks he is and how much laughter she can hear when he is here. Made me fall for him even more!

Sometimes it takes a while to find out what you really like, what your dealbreakers are and get that confidence up

lots of us on here sifted through a lot of time wasters in the beginning. The ghosting was hurtful at first but then you get a thicker skin.

online dating is brutal sometimes!

That's a smashing anecdote @OLDstolemybrain LOVE THAT

And also to echo the advice you have given to @Lookingforlov3
I was given wise advice by @Mila14 not to settle for guys that weren't right for you. Far better to be happily single than with the wrong guy I worked out wayyyyyy later than I should have.

My only worries at the mo with MrMaker are (a) he might/will die ☹️and (b) I keep imagining him with his now XW in bed (wtaf?)
I've never had these unhealthy thoughts before about anyone.

We've given our next of kin each other's numbers so we can be notified if something unexpectedly tragic happens but really hope we have many healthy happy years together

Oncey…get the XW out of your head immediately. He’s moved on and you are with him. Fuck that bad vibe

Thanks @Mila14 yep. She's his bad narcissistic Ex and I'm his totally fantastic Now. Brava. Thanks.

OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss

HATE those intrusive thoughts
it’s a very ND thing
but as he’s ok you have to figure out a way to bat them away
easier said than done I know ….

Thanks @Thisisworsethananticpated I think that's the trick actually. Just keep batting the thoughts away before they are even embryonic sized
(I don't know what 'ND' is)

Neurodiverse. (ADHD or autism generally, but other flavours are available)

Thanks Eesteek
My friends ND and she has this
I don’t know if I am or not ! But I have it Jesus do I have it

anyway I’m back OLD
this time - with boundaries

I quite like FEELD it’s very honest ! Lot of horny men out there
and I’m even talking to a woman about my oft imagined MFF 3 some

that said I had a call with a guy tonight
nice fella
and I feel teary and I miss my ex again
But seeing as he won’t even talk to me ..,

but what I can do ! Soldier on

@Thisisworsethananticpated good luck with being back on line

@Lookingforlov3 Maybe get a friend to look at your profile and try to make tweaks. I find Tinder is very busy but lots of sifting needed.

I am having a really tough time of it. In the last fortnight I have been ghosted by 3 people - one I was chatting to for 2 years (long story) one 4 months and the other less relevant.
After 3 dates, one of my irons basically told me I was too chubby for him. (I'm a tall size 12). It's really knocked my confidence and I have found myself when chatting to people telling them that despite working out a lot, I am more feminine and not athlete shaped. (I can't see how you can't tell that from my photos).
I'm also getting a lot of dull conversation which feels highly cut and paste. When people do match with me, they'll send a message, I reply then nothing. I assume these are the types that match with everyone and have loads of irons on the go and I'm the 50th back up. I'd rather they just didn't message at all in the first place.

I have no idea what I am doing wrong - it must be something.

My male friends tend to get less matches overall but they get a lot more suitable likes and matches from high quality women - all good jobs, sporty, interesting etc. One of my friends actually showed me his phone and he is an averagely good looking guy - balding late 40s, his profile has 2 pictures (neither good of him) and a couple of sentences about how he likes sport. The majority of women liking his profile are 10 years younger and super model good looking and mega fit (triathletes etc).

@Garysmum I dont think you are doing anything wrong aside from having to justify your looks to a random man because some moron thinks its acceptable to say you are too chubby! If you are really self conscious, have a clearer full length picture.

As for your male friends, i've said this before. A man can be pretty average looking and still get a reasonable amount of attention if they write a half decent profile. All my male friends who went online met gfs quickly and are still together. I'd say they are all average in looks with their own odd quirks which would make them undateable to me but they are normal, have decent jobs and have at least one outdoor activity. All my girlfriends who have even better jobs and are even better looking, struggle.