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Original poster

Help. EA DP wants more than fair share of house after split

171 replies

CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:03

DP and I have been together for 10 years with 2 DC. I also have DC from previous marriage who live with us.

He lived with us in my previous house and did quite a bit of work on it, he asked for a specific price for the work which I paid (10k). I made a profit when the house was sold.

I then used my equity to buy another house, also got a mortgage. I paid all the costs for tradesmen and materials and he also did a lot of the work (he’s skilled). The deal was that he would get 30% of the profit and me 70% if and when the house was sold. He pays a set amount every month to cover bills etc.

Fast forward and I cannot bear to be with him any longer, long story, he’s EA, angry and I have terrible anxiety when around him, he scares me.

I am selling the house and he is now asking for more money from this house (50/50) and more form the original house despite what we’d already agreed. he’s been telling lies about me to anyone who’ll listen, about how I’ve ripped him off, how I’m controlling (it’s the other way round) and how I’ve ruined his life.

I just feel scared, stressed and broken. I want him out but he says he had nowhere to go and no money without the sale of the house. I can hear him shouting on the phone about me downstairs to his sister as I type this.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 12/02/2023 22:06

Is the current house his house ie name on the deeds and mortgage?

If not speak to the local police and get him removed.

bunnypenny · 12/02/2023 22:08

Did you ringfence your £££ when you bought the house?

when you say”the deal” was 70/30, do you mean via lawyers or you?

OutDamnedSpot · 12/02/2023 22:09

Are you married?

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 12/02/2023 22:10

You're not married? Is the house in your name alone?

see a solicitor. Tomorrow.

Original poster
CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:10

He’s not on the deeds or mortgage. There has been no legal agreement either way, we aren’t married.

OP posts:
Shylo · 12/02/2023 22:10

The question is whose house is on the deeds - is it just you? In which case he has no legal right to the property and certainly not any previous property for which you already paid him for that work done

honestly who gives a crap what he’s saying to everyone ; carry on with the house sale and get him out

Original poster
CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:10

Yes the house and mortgage are solely in my name

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 12/02/2023 22:11

If you are not married, just get him out and change the locks. He has no rights to your house. If you are, get a lawyer.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 12/02/2023 22:11

CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:10

Yes the house and mortgage are solely in my name

Does he pay you some money towards the bills? Or pay himself directly?

RandomMess · 12/02/2023 22:11

Your local police will have a domestic violence team which includes all types of abuse. Speak to them, he has no right to be in the house now your relationship has ended.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 12/02/2023 22:12

Purplecatshopaholic · 12/02/2023 22:11

If you are not married, just get him out and change the locks. He has no rights to your house. If you are, get a lawyer.

And now he gets fuck all too. I bet he wont pay maintanance.

is he self employed? If he is i wouldnt be giving him a penny.

Original poster
CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:13

He pays £700 per month towards bills etc. I then pay for all the bills and outgoings using both this and my own money.

OP posts:
Original poster
CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:14

Yes he’s self employed.

OP posts:
Itisbetter · 12/02/2023 22:14

Go and talk to the olive in the morning. He can move in with his family if he really can’t sort a room somewhere.

Wombats67 · 12/02/2023 22:16

Yep, not married, no contract or shared mortgage, he can bleat all he likes. Not a leg to stand on.

You could give him a bit of cash for work but you dont have to & where he goes is not your problem.

I'd involve the police sooner rathet than later if you're scared tho.

Original poster
CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:17

His family live really far away and he only has one friend… I really want him out but I’m scared he’s going to try and cause all sorts of problems for me and just make life really difficult. We live in the middle of nowhere and I don’t feel safe here on my own with the children.

OP posts:
LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 12/02/2023 22:17

CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:14

Yes he’s self employed.

Seriously, he is an abusive man. Do you actually think he will pay any money towards his children? Or take are of them so you can work and have a bit of free time?

throw him out and give him nothing.

do not hesitate to phone the police if he gets aggressive.

Shylo · 12/02/2023 22:17

Who’s name not who’s house ! Doh!

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 12/02/2023 22:18

Keep calm and phone the police when he is out.

do not give him a penny.

cestlavielife · 12/02/2023 22:22

CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:10

Yes the house and mortgage are solely in my name

Then he has no rights to qnything
But any emails or agreeement in writing? That ypu woukd givr him 30? Why?
How much £££ are ypu taliking about?
It might cost him more in lawyers fees than what he might g potentially get by proving some kind of agreement

Original poster
CoalShed · 12/02/2023 22:22

It would be my word against his with regard to the EA. My older children would be able to explain this too but really I don’t want them questioned by police, it would be very harrowing.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 12/02/2023 22:28

Speak to rights of women.

You are sacred of him, please speak to the police.

The relationship has ended he has no right to remain in your home.

Itisbetter · 12/02/2023 22:28

Just tell him he has to leave and go to the police if he won’t. You don’t want to live with him and he’s in your house.

Pinkbonbon · 12/02/2023 22:30

Your own word is all that's needed. You don't need to 'prove' emotional abuse.

Just call the police and tell them your ex won't leave your house and is being aggressive and you fear for your safety.

Have the locksmith cone change the locks first thing and keep your chain on and keys in the door in the mean time.

Or skip the police and just change the locks when you know he will be gone at work the whole day. Leave his stuff on the doorstep. If he kicks off , don't open the door just call the police.

Don't negotiate with terrorists.

Make sure your kids are kept away or home that day so that you don't have to open the door for them when he is outside.

Wherearemymarbles · 12/02/2023 22:30

Your start and end point is that he has no legal right to your house or any money from it
you can legally enforce this removal
if he wants any money from the house he will have to take it to court
Its guaranteed he will not pay you child maintenance.

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