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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He is having an affair! Follow on thread

802 replies

heartbroken26 · 06/02/2023 21:00

I've made a follow on thread as frankly I need to continue to share my thoughts and gain support and advice from you all! I do feel a warmth reading all your lovely comments of support. Thank you!

OP posts:
Orangessunshine · 26/07/2023 13:44

I don’t think this is the same person as @heartbroken26 ? X

TheSilveryPussycat · 26/07/2023 14:04

Not sure if you're talking to me?

My post was prompted by @iwantmyownicecreamvan as we all sharing our experiences with OP?

TheSilveryPussycat · 26/07/2023 14:06

Hence I began my post by quoting @iwantmyownicecreamvan 's previous post.

girlswillbegirls · 26/07/2023 16:36

OP I was wondering all this time about you and I was worried the reason why you haven't posted was because you went back to him.

I am delighted to hear that's not the case.
I can imagine how tough is being to go though your divorce but you are doing the right thing.

A beautiful future is ahead of you and your boys, grab it, you really deserve it. I'm really proud of you, you are very brave. xx

AcrossthePond55 · 26/07/2023 17:40

Glad you're doing well and thanks for the update. Now go back to living your life and I wish you laughter, love, and happiness. And I know you'll find them.

Beaverbridge · 26/07/2023 18:00

Awh lovely to read this. Wish the very best to you and your boys.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 26/07/2023 19:59

girlswillbegirls · 26/07/2023 16:36

OP I was wondering all this time about you and I was worried the reason why you haven't posted was because you went back to him.

I am delighted to hear that's not the case.
I can imagine how tough is being to go though your divorce but you are doing the right thing.

A beautiful future is ahead of you and your boys, grab it, you really deserve it. I'm really proud of you, you are very brave. xx

Thank you! That made me tear up, in a good way! Xx

OP posts:
IslaSkywalker · 26/07/2023 21:41

Good luck @heartbroken26 away from that horrible man. You deserve a great life.

girlswillbegirls · 27/07/2023 09:09

@heartbroken26 You have this!!!
You have here a big fan club supporting you xx

Sunnymummy8 · 27/07/2023 12:18

You ok are so strong.. you got this 💜

MaydinEssex · 27/07/2023 14:17

Glad to hear you are doing OK, was worried when you disappeared 💐

girlswillbegirls · 27/07/2023 14:32

Sorry I meant "you got this" (not a native English Speaker here).

All the best OP!

SpiralDiderotEffect · 16/02/2024 11:45

Hello @heartbroken26 a year on checking that you are alright ? Hope you have emerged the other side stronger than before. Best wishes.

NostalgiaWarning · 16/02/2024 23:49

I remember you, can’t believe it’s been over a year. Hope you’re doing ok

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 30/12/2025 22:01

NostalgiaWarning · 16/02/2024 23:49

I remember you, can’t believe it’s been over a year. Hope you’re doing ok

Hello!

Wow. I've just been reading this all back and thankfully I'm in so much of a better place!

It's still me and my boys. They see dad every other weekend and one night in the week.

I'm 8 months into a new relationship with someone from school I've reconnected with and it's going amazingly.

The 'git' and I are officially divorced and are amicable for the sake of the boys, he's now engaged to my friends sister and they have a daughter.

I can't believe how far I've come since all thei happened. I thought I'd give everyone an update x

OP posts:
BridieConvert · 30/12/2025 22:04

OP I love the fact you gave us an update! I thought of you often, yours was one of the first threads I actually read on Mumsnet.
I am so glad to read you are in a good place ❤️

britneyisfreebutnotokay · 30/12/2025 22:23

You’re amazing. I remember this thread. Glad you’ve come through the other side and found happiness again Flowers

Redshoeblueshoe · 30/12/2025 22:45

I remember your thread. I am so pleased that you are doing well. Wishing you all the best for the New Year

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/12/2025 23:07

I wonder....is he now a shadow of his former self?

They usually are when they realise that they ended up with the booby prize. I suspect that "she" is very controlling and paranoid....and for good reason!

S0upertrooper · 31/12/2025 00:54

Great to hear you're doing well OP. I remember your post and I can't believe it'll be 3 years in February!!!!!!!! (Exclamation marks for added drama 😂)

How are things with your friend, did you manage to keep your friendship going?

Good luck for the future with your boys and new partner.

girlswillbegirls · 31/12/2025 01:59

I'm so happy for you OP!!! I remember you well too. So happy to hear everything worked out so well. Thanks so much for the update ❤

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 31/12/2025 08:19

S0upertrooper · 31/12/2025 00:54

Great to hear you're doing well OP. I remember your post and I can't believe it'll be 3 years in February!!!!!!!! (Exclamation marks for added drama 😂)

How are things with your friend, did you manage to keep your friendship going?

Good luck for the future with your boys and new partner.

I'm still a lover of an exclamation mark 😂

We are still friends, but as you can imagine we are not as close as we used to be, I feel like I can't divulge information to her in case it gets back to 'them'

I really can't believe it's nearly been 3 years, the first year was the toughest, and I'll be honest, I nearly broke a few times and took him back with the constant begging, I'm so glad I stayed strong.

I really do think he regrets his actions, in the summer he had been away with some mutual friends stag do, and I've had reports back he was drunk and cried to the groom to be about our marriage breakdown and how he missed me and the boys and wish he could turn back time. I did secretly glee at that! Too late mate! I would never take him back.

He's made his bed and now has to lie in it. He has another child to consider now too.
As for 'her' I hope everyday she worries about him doing the same.

I'm so touched by how many remember 🥰

OP posts:
DialSquare · 31/12/2025 12:27

I also remember you OP. I’m so glad you and your boys are doing well and are now in a happy place and I hope your new relationship continues to flourish.

As for them, they deserve everything they’ve got. Him for the misery of living with what he has lost every single day and her for knowing that not only is she with a liar and a cheat but she must also know that she’s only with him because you don’t want him. He’d drop her in a heartbeat if you told him you’d have him back (thankfully you won’t). They must both be so miserable together. Not exciting for them now that they’re no longer sneaking around is it.

Sugargliderwombat · 31/12/2025 13:39

Where the hell did those three years go?! I'm so glad you stayed strong, OP. Isn't it sad to think how many people would take them back and drift through life with such an utter bloody loser.

Orangessunshine · 03/01/2026 10:27

Oh my it’s you! I remember your threads whilst up in the middle of the night pumping for my baby. You’re my original insight into Mumsnet and the story I often think about.

He was such an idiot- still is by sounds of it, stupid man.
You were so genuine I felt like you could’ve been any of us. Giving so much to be a good wife and mother and letting him enjoy his hobby.
Your friend too, put in such a difficult situation but still came through.

I am so very pleased to hear your doing well and your wonderful boys. Keep smashing life and don’t let him change the wonderful person you are.

thank you so much for the update I was so invested!!!

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