He is having an affair! Follow on thread

[heartbroken26]

I've made a follow on thread as frankly I need to continue to share my thoughts and gain support and advice from you all! I do feel a warmth reading all your lovely comments of support. Thank you!

Sending hugs and moral
Support OP. You are probably in shock.
Lots of wise gentle MN ers will be along with better advice than I could give, but just wanted to say I m glad you have excellent friends (it can't be easy for her too I would want to explode at my sister if she did that to my friends marriage) a lovely mum to help you through this.

Some men are just so awfully ruthless and selfish, so sorry Op, you will come out the other side of this. Her sister ought to be ashamed of herself too, having an affair with a married man is bad enough but the wife being your sisters friend! Your friend must be mortified.

I saw your post about not affording bills, go on entitled to and fill that in, get the UC ball rolling and CM. I was cheated on and sorting all the logistics side of it kept me distracted. That’s the thing that pisses me off the most, these men do the damage then go sulk in mummy's spare room away from any responsibilities where as we still have kids to look after, a household
to run, worrying about bills, all while being heartbroken by their betrayal. Pricks

xxx

You've got this honey. Keep your head up. Think about what YOU want, it will be hard it will be ok. You will always be ok. Sending love x

I was reading along yesterday and was so hoping it was just a case of mistaken identity! I'm so sorry he has done this to you and your boys ❤️ sending love your way!

Omg. Omfg. Can't believe it. I honestly thought you'd got in a postnatal tizz and he was innocent. Sorry. I did think it was a bit odd him leaving you to it to play golf/ go to the pub so regularly (as in selfish not slimey).

He is the worst kind. Essentially blaming you for not being "up for it". I have a 10 year old and I'm still not "up for it"! Seriously though. This is the worst kind of cheating, someone known to you, blaming you, gaslighting you, yuck.

Your friend sounds like a good one. She's been in a really tricky position and she, albeit clumsily, tried to show you the light without hurting her sister.

HOLD THE LINE.

You sound wonderful OP.

He sounds like a complete shit.

You will be okay. Battle scarred, but okay.

He will always be a shit.

Head high, you don't need to hide your face 🌻

Following you onto this thread, hand hold💐

I am so sorry op. I read your thread the other day and I was so hoping that it was all a misunderstanding. I guess your friend was there and dropping hints infront of him , about the shopping centre, to get him to panic and maybe confess. The fact that he was almost caught yet went out to be with her again is disgusting.
You are being so strong ignoring him. Take all the time you need before you feel ready to tell other people. This man is a waste of space and does not deserve to call you his wife.
The huge, rubbish excuse of having a baby and not wanting sex as much is quite frankly disgusting. I hope when you’re ready to talk to him then you can tell him what a low life he is. He has a new baby at home and a wife that’s doing everything for his family yet he’s gone elsewhere.
Everyone is here for you. Be strong for your children, you are their rock. You don’t need him!

Big hugs OP

wow, wasn’t expecting you to update with this. Sending you love and strength. X

Stay strong

Fuuuuck I’m sorry! I read your other thread and stopped when you thought it was fake.
god, what an arse

I'm so sorry OP, what a nasty little selfish coward he is. I'm glad your friend told you. Big hugs to you.

My advice would be to spend a few days clearing your head, it would be completely understandable if you are feeling a mess right now. Then sit down with your mum/someone supportive and start making a to do list; things like STD test, contacting lawyers.
I know it's hard but try not to communicate with him. If a discussion is needed to be had about the kids could your mum speak on your behalf for now?

The more updates you post, the lovelier you sound and the more he looks like a complete moron for what he’s done.

Big hugs. Sending you tenderness and strength at this shocking time. Hold your babies tight and know you aren't alone. You will get through this x

Sorry for doubting your friend. I thought she was acting suss and it turns out she was-but for good reason. As other posters have said, you are worth so much more than this weak willed, devious loser. I'm sure you'll get some amazing support on here from people who have been through similar. Please don't feel ashamed though or like any of this is your fault. Infidelity is always a choice and it's a reflection of the cheater, not you 💐

His job, when you're recovering from a third degree tear and the exhaustion of a new baby, is to support, be patient and be understanding. Not go get it elsewhere. You've done nothing wrong OP. He's shown you his character.

I hope you're OK. In sickness and in health, don't let him convince you otherwise. There was probably an emotional element sadly if they're going shopping that's not just physical.

It's unforgivable. I wonder if your friend can give more answers, when you're ready.

Do get advice if you can claim anything, universal credit top up etc. You sound like you've got your head screwed on.

Oh OP I’m so sorry to see how this has played out. Your friend sounds like a really good person, as do you. Admittedly her tactics were strange but she was in a really difficult situation. Sending you strength and the best wishes for the next few months / keep your chin up, he’s an arse x

I stopped reading your original thread yesterday once it seemed to have been a misunderstanding and all sorted. So sorry to read that he has in fact had an affair. I’m really glad your friend told you, she was put in a very difficult position. You will get through this.

I had stopped reading your last thread when you thought it was all a mistake, but now I've just seen your update, and I'm shocked. I'm so sorry it has turned out to be true. Please don't let him get away with putting any blame on you, how cruel of him to say that you haven't been up for it much since the baby when you describe a difficult labour, he's a complete arsehole. He's completely thrown away his family for sex it's pathetic of him.
Stay strong op sending hugs xx

I've just read your other post and I actually had a sinking feeling when it was the update! What the actual fuck!

Hope you're okay. You're better off without him. Xx

So sorry to see this thread. I really did think this was just your friend stirring things up for the drama, and I'm sorry that I was wrong about that. Wishing you the best. x

It's made me really sad to hear that this was all actually true - I was hoping so much it was crossed wires.

He's a twat. You deserve SO much better but obviously you will be going through so much right now that these words won't help.

I must say, though, I'm blown away by your strength of not speaking to him - that alone says a lot about you. Keep your mum close and don't take any shit off him. Get your ducks in a row and remember that financially there are systems in place that can help you should you struggle.

Oh no, I'm so sorry OP, I thought it had turned out OK? But seeing this now, I just wanted to say how sad I am for you and your two little children. Thank goodness you have your mum helping you. Try not to worry about the big picture, just take it day by day. Please stay strong, you have everyone's support here xx