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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Received a message

230 replies

Imagineit · 06/02/2023 18:25

Received a message today from a Facebook profile which was suspicious (no other friends) lady sent me a friend request then messaged to say
'DP (named) is not to be trusted'
I asked for clarification.
She said he was involved with her 'friend'
The profile listed a town nowhere near us so I asked where friend lived and she named town right by us.

DP's reaction to all this had been weird. He's more annoyed at me than anything and feels so hard done by but venomously denied it.

I'm so confused. It seems a lot of effort from someone to create a profile to contact me if there's nothing in it. DP says maybe it's a bot.

I've asked this person for more details but they haven't responded to me in a few hours. My head is scrambled!

OP posts:
cosmicbabe · 09/02/2023 13:16

If I was innocent I would want to see these messages and would totally hand you my phone !!

rockingbird · 09/02/2023 13:59

Word of warning.. there will be much more to this. It's a carbon copy of how first unearthed my own stbexh double life. This random woman contacted me via Facebook messenger.. asked me if xxx was my husband and pretended she was the owner of the flat (penthouse) he'd been renting whilst working overseas. Turns out she was the OW and was still living in the flat they shared for a very long time. His reaction was similar - almost brushed it off and told me many many lies. 4 months later back she came to tell me the full story when he cut her off. So, think about why someone would go out of their way to find you on social media in the first place! Hugs x

user1492757084 · 09/02/2023 16:00

Hire a private detective for your own piece of mind and do so quickly so your choices can be clear.

IncompleteSenten · 09/02/2023 21:49

2023a · 07/02/2023 18:05

Being messaged by a random who informed him I was cheating wouldn’t cause my husband to require reassurance. And vice versa. We trust each other and we know the other person isn’t cheating otherwise we wouldn’t be in this marriage. We’ve been together for a long time, through interesting events, so I can say this with certainty.

I would never be in a relationship without complete trust and - if I discovered I was - I would no longer be in that relationship. The perpetual terror of cheating that seems to plague everyone on MN isn’t present in my life.

Show quote history

I don't trust anybody 100%.
Nobody on this earth with the possible exception of myself.

I follow the saying trust but verify.

Everyone I've ever known who has been shat on from a great height uttered the words "I trusted them".

I'll go as high as 99% and no higher 😁

airfryerandelectricblanket · 09/02/2023 23:56

Sounds like the person messaging you could be the woman who he has been seeing.

She's planted a seed and left you with it!

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