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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 13:10

I know someone who was found out in the exact same way- shopping in the next town.

Bog · 04/02/2023 13:10

He's not very clever.

offyoufuckcuntychops · 04/02/2023 13:12

It's weird how keen people are to leap to "he's having an affair - LTB". Nobody even knows if the friend actually saw the OP's husband or whether the friend is short sighted/a troublemaking dick/incapable of recognising people (I can't recognise people out of context, and often think that someone is someone else).

BaggieMaggie · 04/02/2023 13:13

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Newrider · 04/02/2023 13:14

What a shit. I'm sorry OP

DillDanding · 04/02/2023 13:14

Well you have well and truly caught him out. What a horrible person he must be.

I never really understand the advice on these threads about going all super-sleuth, but I guess it’s from people who from experience, know what they’re talking about.

My instinct would be to put all of his belongings in bin bags by the front door and tell him he’s moved out as of today.

Fancylike · 04/02/2023 13:14

Please follow advice already posted to play the long game here - you at least can be prepared financially, emotionally, and legally. Don’t throw that upper hand away for a gotcha moment, and keep gathering concrete evidence without tipping him off. If he is a cheat, you’ll definitely see him squirm later.

808Kate1 · 04/02/2023 13:15

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It makes for an excellent live cheating thread

Yup!

FlibbertyGibbitt · 04/02/2023 13:19

Thinking this will go puff very soon.

DillDanding · 04/02/2023 13:20

It makes for an excellent live cheating thread

Don’t tell me it’s bullshit 🤨

ivykaty44 · 04/02/2023 13:22

You can buy a little tracker from Amazon and hide it in his car. Next time he "plays golf", see where he goes. Then turn up and confront him.

I'm sorry you going through this. He's a fucktard.

Id do this and take screen shots

but thats if you want to play games and get evidence, whether you want to divorce him for unreasonable behaviour or adultery it makes no difference - you only need evidence for your own peace of mind

look up the script www.emotionalaffair.org/the-cheating-spouse-follows-a-script/

be aware you know the story line before they start

Beaglesonlyplease · 04/02/2023 13:23

This is the second of these threads this morning. Different scenarios but the answers were coming thick and fast… bye thread

ivykaty44 · 04/02/2023 13:24

reality, most people who have affairs are much better at covering their tracks.

sadly this isn't true....

FlibbertyGibbitt · 04/02/2023 13:24

And far too many !!!!!!!!!!!!! In ops threads 🤷‍♀️

Dontknowwhyidoit · 04/02/2023 13:25

No advice to give but I'm glad you have a friend with you to provide real life support. Can the kids go to someone else's house if you plan on having it out as it's won't be a nice atmosphere for them to be around.

BellePeppa · 04/02/2023 13:26

endoftheworldniteclub · 04/02/2023 12:50

Hide the golf clubs and see how many more months it will take before he asks where they are.

I think this is pretty clever. I’d do this.

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 04/02/2023 13:27

Oh OP, it doesn’t look great. The only thing making me doubt affair even a little bit is that he was shopping on a Saturday so close to home. It’s bold! Surely he would know he’d risk getting caught.

hope it turns out to be nothing sinister but glad you have your friend there either way

Yorkshirelass04 · 04/02/2023 13:28

Is this real?

BTMadmummy · 04/02/2023 13:28

You are giving him time to make up an excuse

BTMadmummy · 04/02/2023 13:30

BTMadmummy · 04/02/2023 13:28

You are giving him time to make up an excuse

If you send him pic of golf clubs

Starlitestarbright · 04/02/2023 13:32

Gather the necessary paperwork and pack his bags you have all the information you need.

ZaphodDent · 04/02/2023 13:32

Shaking my head at some of the advice and also accusations being made here.

We have to assume OP is genuinely in a horrible situation today. And this idea that no men are stupid enough to do this?? Ha.

OP must be in a real state, how is she supposed to control her emotions when she sees him?

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 13:32

I couldn’t sit on this for weeks, even if that is the smart thing to do. I’d have to confront him when he gets home. You’ll know by his face.

Rosellee · 04/02/2023 13:34

Benjispruce4 · 04/02/2023 13:32

I couldn’t sit on this for weeks, even if that is the smart thing to do. I’d have to confront him when he gets home. You’ll know by his face.

Some people are such good liars that they give nothing away in their face.

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 13:35

Thank you for all your support, I'm not sure why im being called out for using exclamation marks! It's a habit! Is it bad? Do I need to stop doing it? My friend is 100% sure it's him!! Ok, this may be outing, I said next town but it's not somewhere I would ever think to go! Nor him? Swindon designer outlet, so far enough from Forest of Dean but not too far! So I don't think he would have thought he would see anyone he knows. My friend saw him walking past a shop she was in which is how he didn't see her

OP posts:
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