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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
FizzyStream · 04/02/2023 12:34

I'd be tempted to take a pic of his clubs and send it to him.

HappinesDependsOnYou · 04/02/2023 12:36

I am so sorry you are in this situation. Confront when you are ready to and not before. If you want to do it at 3 have the golf clubs in the living room when you do. Good luck op.

Original poster
heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 12:37

My friend has just arrived! I'll update more shortly! Thank you all so much for 'holding my hand'

OP posts:
MrsVeryIrritated · 04/02/2023 12:37

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 12:37

My friend has just arrived! I'll update more shortly! Thank you all so much for 'holding my hand'

Why all the drama when it can be resolved easily?

TwinsAndTiramisu · 04/02/2023 12:39

There is terrible advice on here, do not give him a heads up when you're potentially going to divorce someone who is a proven cheat and liar, just to get a "gotcha" moment

Thethingswedoforlove · 04/02/2023 12:41

Definitely think long term rather than short term aboht this. Ie get the paperwork all copied so he can’t claim he has less than he does or forget any assets…

NewShoesRub · 04/02/2023 12:43

I think @EL0ISE gave great advice OP.
Good luck

Yankeescot · 04/02/2023 12:44

Definitely get your ducks in a row with paperwork before you confront him! He's had months to come up with stories of where he is, where he's going, etc. You've only had an hour to discover that he's a lying twat. He'll try and hide assets.
So sorry you're going through this. I've been there and it's such a gut punch.

InFiveMins · 04/02/2023 12:44

As your friend has seen him I'd just confront him with that. Or follow him later on and catch him with her.

PinotPony · 04/02/2023 12:45

I'd be inclined to keep shtum for now. If he plays "most weekends", you'll have a better opportunity to prove his infidelity.

You can buy a little tracker from Amazon and hide it in his car. Next time he "plays golf", see where he goes. Then turn up and confront him.

I'm sorry you going through this. He's a fucktard.

SamTG · 04/02/2023 12:48

TwinsAndTiramisu · 04/02/2023 12:39

There is terrible advice on here, do not give him a heads up when you're potentially going to divorce someone who is a proven cheat and liar, just to get a "gotcha" moment

Agreed!!

endoftheworldniteclub · 04/02/2023 12:50

Hide the golf clubs and see how many more months it will take before he asks where they are.

OriGanOver · 04/02/2023 12:50

What @EL0ISE said. Do not tell him you know anything! Get your ducks in a row as the saying goes.

mourndayclub · 04/02/2023 12:51

What an absolute prick he is!! (Putting it mildly!!!!!!) you can do better than this op he doesn't deserve you. He deserves to sweat and panic when he realises he's destroyed his life with you. Sending you strength and hugs it will be a horrible few weeks but on the other side you'll be far better off!!

LavenderSloe · 04/02/2023 12:52

I do think it's much better if you can get some solid evidence that he can't wriggle out of...call the golf course, say you need to get in touch with him as an emergency. That's absolutely legit. IF they manage to connect you, think of an excuse with your friend that you can say. But realistically - you know he's not going to be there.

He will absolutely come up with excuses so you need to be sure how certain you are. It would be ideal if you could see him with this woman for yourself to know.

endoftheworldniteclub · 04/02/2023 12:52

He deserves to sweat and panic when he realises he's destroyed his life with you.

No, he won’t. He doesn’t care about her. Not even enough to actually take his golf clubs with him just in case.

AppaTheSixLeggedFlyingBison · 04/02/2023 12:55

I would be tempted to leave the golf clubs in the living room next to me, but he would just find a way to wiggle out of it "oh yes I left them at home, had to borrow Dave's".

Anyway often you are better off gathering evidence and preparing your assets. I'm so sorry OP, hugs and flowers for you

mumof2andstillsurviving · 04/02/2023 12:57

Don't reveal your hand too soon. I know it's hard and you just want to scream it in his face but make sure you have all the evidence first otherwise he will just lie his way out of it

mumof2andstillsurviving · 04/02/2023 12:58

I'm so sorry he had treated you this way

Can2022getanyworse · 04/02/2023 13:01

Oh love, how awful.

Does your friend have space in her car for his golf clubs? Might be an idea to see how long he keeps up his golfing without them.

Dotcheck · 04/02/2023 13:02

Definitely don’t have it out. Get more proof. The worst thing is when they wheedle you, lie, tell you you are imagining things. Or partially come clean and say ‘it’s only once- Louise from accounts was having a terrible time and wanted some advice on a drill hammer. I know you’d be upset so I hid it’. You’re vulnerable and want to believe it so you do.

So- get more proof so he can’t mess with your head.

Tratjymp · 04/02/2023 13:04

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:54

Ok! I think this pretty much cements it!! I've just checked the garage... his golf clubs are there!

Bloody hell!

If he plays the adultery game that badly, he should have stuck to golf.

Rosellee · 04/02/2023 13:04

If he was having an affair, surely he wouldn't go shopping with her in the next town? Too risky.

offyoufuckcuntychops · 04/02/2023 13:07

How well does your friend know him? If she knows him well, why didn't she stop and say hello? That would have put the wind up him.
If she doesn't know him well enough to say hello, how can she be sure that it was him?
And is it possible that she's not that good a friend and is being a drama llama and a shit stirrer?
I wouldn't jump to conclusions here.
It's a bit odd to be seen out and about in public with an affair partner. Affairs are normally kept behind closed doors.

UpUpAndAwol · 04/02/2023 13:08

Leave the kids with your friend and head over to the town? See if you can find then having lunch somewhere? It might not be what you think it is but you will know if you see them together

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