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Original poster

Could he be having an affair???

972 replies

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 11:41

Name changed for this!! I don't even know why im posting!! I don't know anything yet?! Im hoping it's all innocent!!

Today my husband told me he was going off to golf! No problem, it's a hobby he's taken up in the last 6 months and goes off most weekends! He always said it's a good de stresser as we have 2 children under 5, one of which is an baby. So of course I've had no reason to suspect anything untoward!!

My friend text me saying she's seen him with a woman shopping in the next town over!!! She doesn't think he saw her.

I don't know what to do, say, do I ring him? Do I confront him when he's home? I'm hoping my friend is wrong 😩

OP posts:
Hawkins002 · 06/02/2023 18:05

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Buildingthefuture · 06/02/2023 18:06

Bin him. NOW. All his stuff is removed immediately with immediate effect, or you burn it. I’ve said this so many time on these threads, but I will say it again. Right now, he’s in denial. He never expected to get caught (somehow they never do!) but he has been. So, a vile load of untrue shite will be forthcoming…..it’s your fault, lack of attention/sex/ blah blah blah. It’s horseshit. All of it. This was his CHOICE. He’s been justifying his utterly fucking dreadful choices for months. That is not going to stop now and it’s going to take a while for him to accept what an absolute thunder cunt he has been. Throw him out now and grey rock the fuck out of him. You need to be Cold as ice op and not a single word to him that doesn’t involve the children.
He is just your average sad bastard, he’s got a wandering cock and off he went. Literally nothing special about him. Currently, he’s not worth the shit on your shoe. Can he change? Well, unlike most of MN i believe that people can and do change. But in your circumstances, I would absolutely be throwing the lying fucker out. What comes after that is YOUR choice. And my advice? Any sign of rug sweeping, denial or minimising? He’s down the road forever.

endoftheworldniteclub · 06/02/2023 18:08

Did your friend say how long they’ve been seeing each other op?

Hawkins002 · 06/02/2023 18:09

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

offyoufuckcuntychops · 06/02/2023 18:11

@heartbroken26 I was completely wrong about your husband, but I sincerely wish I hadn't been. I am so sorry. Flowers

endoftheworldniteclub · 06/02/2023 18:12

I hope your dh’s mate who covered for him on instagram doesn’t have a daughter. I’d ask him if it’s fine with him that his future son-in-law treated his daughter this way.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/02/2023 18:12

endoftheworldniteclub · 06/02/2023 18:08

Did your friend say how long they’ve been seeing each other op?

I believe she said four months.

Hawkins002 · 06/02/2023 18:13

@heartbroken26 apologies op, just read the updates, holy smokes and all the best

endoftheworldniteclub · 06/02/2023 18:16

Aquamarine1029 · 06/02/2023 18:12

I believe she said four months.

Show quote history

Ok, I missed that.

Worriedatwork1 · 06/02/2023 18:18

Thinking of you OP, I’ve been there, very similar set up, ended up a single mum when I finally got rid and wish I’d done it sooner. Stay strong and rebuild your life with your kids - his loss long term x

Ihatepcos · 06/02/2023 18:18

What ab absolute scumbag. I totally understand your friend's predicament and I respect her a lot for going against her family in order to do the right thing. Stay strong OP

Ahsoka2001 · 06/02/2023 18:19

endoftheworldniteclub · 06/02/2023 18:12

I hope your dh’s mate who covered for him on instagram doesn’t have a daughter. I’d ask him if it’s fine with him that his future son-in-law treated his daughter this way.

How do you know the mate knew about the affair and covered for him? Was this explicitly said by OP?

endoftheworldniteclub · 06/02/2023 18:20

Ahsoka2001 · 06/02/2023 18:19

How do you know the mate knew about the affair and covered for him? Was this explicitly said by OP?

Show quote history

Why else would he have published a story on insta with op’s husband playing golf at the time? It’s not something you’d do, is it..

Irisheyesareshining · 06/02/2023 18:21

This is a very hard read ! Firstly you are not alone, my ex husband did the same when I had three very young children . You’re probably in shock as I was. You don’t know it now but he has actually done you a favour, he has exposed himself as what he really is , a cheat, a liar and a selfish moron for putting his sexual gratification above that of his family .
Do not leave the family home ! He will be crying and promising everything, he is the loser ! He’s lost his family for a bit of fun which probably won’t seem that great a prospect now .

Riverlee · 06/02/2023 18:21

Just seen the updates. I’m sorry it has turned out this way.

Also feel sorry for your friend, whose loyalties were obviously torn. It must have been hard for her to find out, and to decide what to do.

kateandme · 06/02/2023 18:24

How was his t-shirt clean?

Shutupyoutart · 06/02/2023 18:26

Oh My gosh what an awful shock you've had op I'm so sorry that your husband has done this. Glad your friend did the right thing in the end, hope you are holding up OK x

Mandyjack · 06/02/2023 18:26

heartbroken26 · 04/02/2023 12:25

He's just replied!! Golf is fine! And just asked how the baby was. He has a cold at the moment! Cool as a cucumber! I'm really starting to get mad now! He's taking me for a fool!

Text back and say 'oh can you play golf without clubs now?' then say oh BTW xxxx spotted you at xxxx
Is there something you need to tell me?

SandyY2K · 06/02/2023 18:27

So sorry its turned out this way, but I didn't think your friend would mistake your husband for someone else.

Hiding stuff in the spare wheel arch is common work cheaters.

This is not what you need with such a young child.

I always say I wouldn't reconcile from an affair, but when I read stepparent threads, I can understand why some people choose to do so. Especially with such young kids.

My advice is not to make any rash decisions. Tell him you need space, if he keeps bothering you. It's all very raw at the moment and your head will be spinning with so many thoughts.

It's not okay that he's tried to blame you by saying you haven't been up for it much. That's not what a remorseful spouse should be saying. He needs to get his head in gear, if he has a chance of saving this marriage.

It's great that you have your mum to support you at this difficult time.

Sealover123 · 06/02/2023 18:30

Your friend is a good one OP. Not only has she shown her loyalty to you (over her sister) but she knew the truth must come out. She didn't want lies surrounding you and your babies.

How are your finances? Please don't stay with a lying cheat just because he pays the bills. Hugs to you! Be strong and in future you will actually be glad you moved on from him.

kateandme · 06/02/2023 18:30

It explains your friend behavior so much.poor thing.
Please leave op.
It won't stop.or it will happen again.
He was caught so he wasn't stopping.
He has lied at literally every single turn here.premeditated each and every turn.
With your friends sister!
Because you were not giving it to him in the bedroom.yuk and also yeh right.
Hiding clothes,golf,the pub,Instagram posts. Post meet showers.ugh.
Leave the shit head.leave

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 06/02/2023 18:31

So sorry it's turned out this way for you OP. The hiding his clothes in his car and getting mates to post on Instagram just goes to show the lengths he was going to. I'm glad your friend came through for you, what a shitty position both her sister and you h put her in too. The levels of selfishness is unbelievable! Take care of yourself 💜

CrazyLadie · 06/02/2023 18:33

kateandme · 06/02/2023 18:24

How was his t-shirt clean?

Hwr friend didn't see him that day so just picked a top she knew he had. He is snagging the friends sister

MrNook · 06/02/2023 18:33

Sealover123 · 06/02/2023 18:30

Your friend is a good one OP. Not only has she shown her loyalty to you (over her sister) but she knew the truth must come out. She didn't want lies surrounding you and your babies.

How are your finances? Please don't stay with a lying cheat just because he pays the bills. Hugs to you! Be strong and in future you will actually be glad you moved on from him.

I agree, she might have gone about it in an awkward way but she only kept it to herself for a few days, what a good friend to tell you and have loyalty to you over her sister!

And definitely don't let him back, what an absolute scum bag and to turn it around on you and say it's because you're not having sex with him!

Mandyjack · 06/02/2023 18:33

heartbroken26 · 05/02/2023 21:40

I'm eagerly awaiting what she has to say, I feel a little anxious but to be honest I don't think I have anything to worry about, I let her get me all worried and worked up yesterday so I'm not going to let it happen! I haven't mentioned anything to my husband yet

You can't leave us hanging!

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