DP's friend sent photographs of me to DP to infer I am cheating

[WhiteJoshsBiceps]

Please bear with me, this is a weird situation. It's so childish that I feel daft writing this but I needed an outlet for my frustrations.
I'm really angry so I'm sorry if this is all garbled, I've tried to put it in some kind of order.

DP's friend - Jon - has always hated me and has always been convinced that I would cheat on DP.

Jon has recently moved into our neighbourhood.

Last weekend, I had a PT session in my local park (now Jon's local park too). My PT is martial arts so has quite a bit more contact than other PT activities. I mean, its not just a bloke shouting instructions from 2m away while you lift weights or do star jumps. It involves body contact, touching each other, being close etc.

I didn't know at the time but Jon saw me having my PT session. And he took photographs of it which he has now sent to DP with messages asking DP if he was happy with me behaving like that with a young male model (my PT is also a part-time model).

DP's at work but has sent me screenshots of what Jon has sent with a jokey message. Then he sent a follow up message saying it was a shit thing for Jon to do but that I look great 🤗

So DP's clearly not bothered. And he needn't be. There's nothing going on with my PT. I do absolutely love my PT for all kinds of reasons, and me and DP have a running joke about my PT being basically a perfect man. Me and PT have a great relationship for all kinds of reasons but there's absolutely nothing sexual going on.

But I'm absolutely livid. I can't complain too much about him taking photographs because we were in public. But he's clearly sent DP ones that could be misread (where me and PT are very close, touching, one where he's got his arm round my shoulders) and is trying to infer I'm doing something wrong. I'm not. And if I was, would I really do it in my local park? I know everyone in the park because I walk the dog there, I go for coffee at the cafe regularly with friends and I do PT in there. Not exactly the most discreet place for a quick bunk-up.

I plan to stay the fuck out of it, to let DP talk to Jon, to stay dignified, stay quiet. If I contact Jon, he'll read my anger as guilt. I will do. This is the right thing to do isn't it?

Thanks for reading, I just really to let off steam.

@rubberduckiee Are you referring to my comment – the first one asking for polite clarification in a sea of people unquestioningly supporting OP and bashing the friend?

Not specifically, no.

@WhiteJoshsBiceps

Blimey. Nothing as exciting as this happens in my park. I’m usually dodging pigeons and dog turd. I think if I saw two lithe ‘Gisele Bundchen plus her hot martial arts trainer’ types in the corner doing body contact sport, I might be tempted to take a piccy…

Might not be the main issue here but you DO fancy the male model trainer guy. And you are flirty with each other.
I would be all kinds of uncomfortable with that situation.

I can't even imagine a "close body contact" or basically letting them hold me in a hug... With some random...say 58 yo, pot-bellied, sweaty, ex-judo star.
I know you know what I mean.

Shocking that some posters have jumped to either a) you were excercising in a park in winter, of course it's suspicious or b) you dated two guys at once many years ago, so you deserve the friend hating you ever since and taking photos of you and trying to split you up.

What you did all those years ago, when you were young and dating, and before you got together with your DP, does not reflect who you are now and is nothing to do with anyone else.

DP's friend is out of order. You and DP clearly have a good relationship. I look forward to hearing that DP has dropped his creepy, judgemental, stalking friend.

That still doesn't mean that Jon has the right to stalk her, takes what he sees as compromising pix that in his mind confirms what he's been thinking about OP all along and send them to her DP in an attempt to break up the relationship.

I would be all kinds of uncomfortable with that situation.

You're not the DP though. Who doesn't appear to be.

It's not you Jon lurves, it's your DP.

This..☝

So when a man loves you he will stalk you and try to ruin your life? Really? You have a strange idea of love ❤️

Some people are strange.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain

That's why I'm starting with "Might not be the main issue here"

However, the OP is not being truthful. That increases the like ability that John is. The truth doesn't take away from the fact that John is acting weird.
OP's partner is a mug and should ditch both - his girlfriend and his friend.

However, the OP is not being truthful. That increases the like ability that John is

That's a....stunning leap of logic that rather reduces relationships to mathematical equations. What isn't she being truthful about and why does it increase the chance that Jon's telling the truth? and even if he is telling the truth, is borderline stalking and sending pictures to her OP the way to go about it? and why's the OP a mug?

I once had a friend whose husband thumped her, used her bank card to get cash and the like but apparently his behaviour was because he loved her. I thought, but never said, that that logic meant that when he thumped her hard enough to inflict permanent damage like death, that must be the ultimate proof of love.

Society's ideas of what constitutes love and romance are seriously fucked up. I wonder how many lives they have ruined?

Does Jon work from home? I'd be getting top of the line cameras around the home. (Inside and out.). This guy's a creeper and I wouldn't put it past him to do frequent walk by's to scope out you and your DH's patterns. Actually might be smart to start changing those daily patterns up for the next few weeks to fuck with him also.

The surreptitious photos are OTT but to be fair to "Jon", I don't blame him for being suspicious and trying to look out for his mate. The OP is a self-confessed serial cheat, a fact well-known amongst their wider circle, and here she is practically creaming herself over this "hot" PT instructor and engaging in very, how shall we put this, "hands on" exercise classes!

I defy anyone here not to be similarly suspicious in the same circumstances if they thought their friend was being mugged off!

The owner of a store close to me was killed as they tried to rob him, it was a gang related crime, apparently they didn't love him, they just wanted his money which makes me reach the conclusion that violence has nothing do with love and more with a need for control, just like your friends husband. Stating someone is "stalking/killing/abusing" a woman because he "loves her" is siding with the psychopath. Violence has nothing to do with love.

Hi Jon, slow night hm, no one to stalk? 😂

Sorry for radio silence - had a sudden illness in the family which meant a mad weekend driving here, there and everywhere.

DP decided not to reply to Jon - wouldn't waste the time of day apparently. Jon hasn't been back in touch and we haven't seen him. I blocked him from my phone, DP hasn't yet - he's waiting to see if Jon gets in contact about the situation.

I'm surprised Jon hasn't followed up to see the fallout but there it is

Sorry, a bit anticlimactic. I haven't caught up on all messages yet - today's the first time I've been back home properly and had time to breathe!

I'm surprised Jon hasn't followed up to see the fallout but there it is

I'd imagine your dogs lack of response has made him very cautious about contacting him.

The lack of response does not suggest his Comms have been gratefully received.

I'd imagine he's wondering if he's finally gone too far and fucked off your dp and lost the friendship.

(I'd imagine he's also secretly hoping that the silence is due to your dp being so busy ending the relationship and moving out/ejecting you .... He can only dream eh)

Dp not dog 😅

‘I can't complain too much about him taking photographs because we were in public.’

Are you joking?

(How is your dog responding to the allegations?)

Good move. I bet Jon will be sitting there continually checking his phone and waiting for a response to see if he's yanked somebody's chain and if so, what they're going to do about it; which you've decided will be nothing. Bet that'll drive him mad.

The dog is entirely nonplussed about the situation. Very unsupportive mutt.

Sorry I haven't had chance to reply to many posts. To answer some points.
Jon knew that PT's a model because we were chatting about gyms and exercise a couple of weeks ago and it came up in that conversation.

Sorry if my OP has been misinterpreted. I don't fancy PT. I said 'I love him' in a very throw away kind of way, like 'I love chips' 😅

As others have said, martial arts requires a lot of adjustments which means touching. I have terrible problems with my back foot positioning 😬so PT is often manhandling me into the right spot. The arms over the shoulders were after a 4-minute non-stop boxing round where I nearly died. Arms over the shoulders were part sympathy, part mocking me, part making sure I didn't collapse.

The cheating was many years ago. I'd been seeing someone for about 9 months. It was a weird, immature relationship. It was more than dating but it wasn't quite a relationship. DP knew I was with this other person when we started going out.

Working out in the park isn't showing off. There's nowhere else to have PT. Our local community centre rents their small hall out for £15/hour. Assuming 3 PT sessions a month, all year, that's an extra £540/year. No thanks. The park is free.