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Original poster

DP's friend sent photographs of me to DP to infer I am cheating

223 replies

WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 14:24

Please bear with me, this is a weird situation. It's so childish that I feel daft writing this but I needed an outlet for my frustrations.
I'm really angry so I'm sorry if this is all garbled, I've tried to put it in some kind of order.

DP's friend - Jon - has always hated me and has always been convinced that I would cheat on DP.

Jon has recently moved into our neighbourhood.

Last weekend, I had a PT session in my local park (now Jon's local park too). My PT is martial arts so has quite a bit more contact than other PT activities. I mean, its not just a bloke shouting instructions from 2m away while you lift weights or do star jumps. It involves body contact, touching each other, being close etc.

I didn't know at the time but Jon saw me having my PT session. And he took photographs of it which he has now sent to DP with messages asking DP if he was happy with me behaving like that with a young male model (my PT is also a part-time model).

DP's at work but has sent me screenshots of what Jon has sent with a jokey message. Then he sent a follow up message saying it was a shit thing for Jon to do but that I look great 🤗

So DP's clearly not bothered. And he needn't be. There's nothing going on with my PT. I do absolutely love my PT for all kinds of reasons, and me and DP have a running joke about my PT being basically a perfect man. Me and PT have a great relationship for all kinds of reasons but there's absolutely nothing sexual going on.

But I'm absolutely livid. I can't complain too much about him taking photographs because we were in public. But he's clearly sent DP ones that could be misread (where me and PT are very close, touching, one where he's got his arm round my shoulders) and is trying to infer I'm doing something wrong. I'm not. And if I was, would I really do it in my local park? I know everyone in the park because I walk the dog there, I go for coffee at the cafe regularly with friends and I do PT in there. Not exactly the most discreet place for a quick bunk-up.

I plan to stay the fuck out of it, to let DP talk to Jon, to stay dignified, stay quiet. If I contact Jon, he'll read my anger as guilt. I will do. This is the right thing to do isn't it?

Thanks for reading, I just really to let off steam.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 14:56

YesitsBess · 02/02/2023 14:47

So he didn't just happen across this scene and decide to take photos (weird by itself) but he's actively stalking you from info you've given in passing in order to break up your marriage?

I would be deeply freaked out by this. And I don't scare easily.

I'm not sure if he deliberately set out to the park to stalk me. It's perfectly possible that he was just in the park at the time because its a cut through from one main road to another. But, even if that was the case - to stop and take pictures is just plain weird.

OP posts:
Justasec321 · 02/02/2023 14:56

I would bet Jon is an envious person and that brings with it destruction.

He will drip drip drip and could eventually cause a crack between you and dp.

You write that you slept around a lot and "in my defense i was in my early 20s". That implies shame. Why? You were a young woman doing what young people do.

People like Jon pick up on that kind of stuff and turn it into something else.

Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 14:57

Kissedbyfire1 · 02/02/2023 14:51

Agree with this. Send him that meme of the stalker guy from Love Actually with a message saying “this you?”

Show quote history

I love this. Jon's a weird guy, I'm not sure he'd have seen Love Actually.

OP posts:
Dejavu23 · 02/02/2023 14:57

How does Jon know how many people you slept with when you were younger?

Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 14:59

Justasec321 · 02/02/2023 14:56

I would bet Jon is an envious person and that brings with it destruction.

He will drip drip drip and could eventually cause a crack between you and dp.

You write that you slept around a lot and "in my defense i was in my early 20s". That implies shame. Why? You were a young woman doing what young people do.

People like Jon pick up on that kind of stuff and turn it into something else.

Oh no, absolutely no shame here at all. I was just explaining that I was in my late teens/early 20s when I was cheating, many years ago and not a behaviour I'd engage in these days.

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 02/02/2023 15:00

Jon is a very quiet/sheltered person so has never been able to put these things down to youth misadventures

Sounds like Jon might have a bit of a madonna/whore complex.

Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 15:00

I do trust DP to drop Jon as a friend. They've known each other for years and years but they're not massively close. And DP will always put me first.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 15:02

Dejavu23 · 02/02/2023 14:57

How does Jon know how many people you slept with when you were younger?

Errrm. How shall I put this.... I had a bit of a reputation 😬

Jon doesn't know the exact number I don't know the exact number but he knows that it was a lot

OP posts:
RaiseTheStakesAndMakeTheLastWordDuckhead · 02/02/2023 15:03

I can't complain too much about him taking photographs because we were in public.

Yes you fucking can.

I’d be expecting DP to tell me all about the very savage response se he gave to Jon for this.

cstaff · 02/02/2023 15:05

@WhiteJoshsBiceps

On a slightly different note OP - looking at your user name - is white Josh and his biceps the gym instructor you were talking about earlier 😋

Bluetrews25 · 02/02/2023 15:06

He's trying to break you up.
Because he wants one of you for himself.
Otherwise why bother?

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 02/02/2023 15:06

It's perfectly possible that he was just in the park at the time because its a cut through from one main road to another. But, even if that was the case - to stop and take pictures is just plain weird

I could - just about - understand that he might have a go at dropping doubts in your DH's mind by mentioning oh so casually that you and the PT seemed pretty close and DH might want to be careful and watch you, given your 'reputation' - but taking pictures suggests more malice than that. It suggests to me that he's trying to get concrete evidence. even if he was just passing and saw you, it strikes me as him seeing a chance to PROVE what he's always thought.

1cupofmilk · 02/02/2023 15:07

I would report him to the police for stalking. Massive invasion of privacy

sexualhealingisgoodforme · 02/02/2023 15:08

Jon is a shit stirrer and clearly has it in for you.

Keep an eye on him.

Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 15:08

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 02/02/2023 15:06

It's perfectly possible that he was just in the park at the time because its a cut through from one main road to another. But, even if that was the case - to stop and take pictures is just plain weird

I could - just about - understand that he might have a go at dropping doubts in your DH's mind by mentioning oh so casually that you and the PT seemed pretty close and DH might want to be careful and watch you, given your 'reputation' - but taking pictures suggests more malice than that. It suggests to me that he's trying to get concrete evidence. even if he was just passing and saw you, it strikes me as him seeing a chance to PROVE what he's always thought.

Yeah, that was my feeling to. Like this is his 'told you so' moment. Bellend.

OP posts:
Underadandelion · 02/02/2023 15:11

1cupofmilk · 02/02/2023 15:07

I would report him to the police for stalking. Massive invasion of privacy

I'd also take this to the police and say it's clearly malicious and you're freaked out as to what he may do next. He sounds so creepy and there's no indication he realises his behaviour is way over the line and not normal.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 02/02/2023 15:11

sexualhealingisgoodforme · 02/02/2023 15:08

Jon is a shit stirrer and clearly has it in for you.

Keep an eye on him.

Seconded. I hope your DH is going to put him right in no uncertain terms, OP.

Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 15:12

cstaff · 02/02/2023 15:05

@WhiteJoshsBiceps

On a slightly different note OP - looking at your user name - is white Josh and his biceps the gym instructor you were talking about earlier 😋

So imagine WhiJo but not clean-cut looking, not baby-faced looking, not 'nice boy' looking. Then double the hotness and you're half way there😜😂

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 15:14

I hadn't even thought about getting the police involved. I'm not sure I want to escalate to that yet but I absolutely hear you all about maybe doing so.

Thanks, BTW, for reading and commenting. I was just absolutely numb when I saw what he'd done but you're all helping me to sort out my thoughts Smile

OP posts:
orangegato · 02/02/2023 15:14

Jon is a misogynist cunt and needs putting in his place. How dare you have enjoyed yourself and slept around in your younger years. He’s judging you because he’s a soggy little creep, I bet he was one of those kids at school who’d grass on other kids cause he’s holier than thou. Your DH needs to dispose of him, imagine what he says about you and you DH let’s slide.

Agapornis · 02/02/2023 15:15

As a fellow martial arts person, you know the best way out is to run away and not fight! Channel your annoyance in your strikes and kicks 💪
(and strongly suggest to DP he ends the notion of friendship)

gamerchick · 02/02/2023 15:17

Notjusta · 02/02/2023 14:36

I also think Jon maybe in love/obsessed with you.

Or the OPs bloke. I'd go with that 'when" I confronted him me. There's no way I'd ignore it and I'd expect the fucker to be ejected from our lives completely.

RaiseTheStakesAndMakeTheLastWordDuckhead · 02/02/2023 15:17

What did your DP say to him?

Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 15:23

orangegato · 02/02/2023 15:14

Jon is a misogynist cunt and needs putting in his place. How dare you have enjoyed yourself and slept around in your younger years. He’s judging you because he’s a soggy little creep, I bet he was one of those kids at school who’d grass on other kids cause he’s holier than thou. Your DH needs to dispose of him, imagine what he says about you and you DH let’s slide.

I really don't think Jon slags me off to DP. DP wouldn't let it slide.

In our early days, Jon always used to hint to DP that I was going to cheat. After a while and once me and DP got serious, DP told him to lay off and Jon did. In DP's mind, that was the issue resolved but I've always felt like Jon continued to hate me and be suspicious of me. I can't really put my finger on my I felt like he was suspicious. You know when you can just feel it.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteJoshsBiceps · 02/02/2023 15:25

RaiseTheStakesAndMakeTheLastWordDuckhead · 02/02/2023 15:17

What did your DP say to him?

I don't think he's replied. DP will wait until he's home and get my input too I think.

OP posts: