DP's friend sent photographs of me to DP to infer I am cheating

[WhiteJoshsBiceps]

Please bear with me, this is a weird situation. It's so childish that I feel daft writing this but I needed an outlet for my frustrations.
I'm really angry so I'm sorry if this is all garbled, I've tried to put it in some kind of order.

DP's friend - Jon - has always hated me and has always been convinced that I would cheat on DP.

Jon has recently moved into our neighbourhood.

Last weekend, I had a PT session in my local park (now Jon's local park too). My PT is martial arts so has quite a bit more contact than other PT activities. I mean, its not just a bloke shouting instructions from 2m away while you lift weights or do star jumps. It involves body contact, touching each other, being close etc.

I didn't know at the time but Jon saw me having my PT session. And he took photographs of it which he has now sent to DP with messages asking DP if he was happy with me behaving like that with a young male model (my PT is also a part-time model).

DP's at work but has sent me screenshots of what Jon has sent with a jokey message. Then he sent a follow up message saying it was a shit thing for Jon to do but that I look great 🤗

So DP's clearly not bothered. And he needn't be. There's nothing going on with my PT. I do absolutely love my PT for all kinds of reasons, and me and DP have a running joke about my PT being basically a perfect man. Me and PT have a great relationship for all kinds of reasons but there's absolutely nothing sexual going on.

But I'm absolutely livid. I can't complain too much about him taking photographs because we were in public. But he's clearly sent DP ones that could be misread (where me and PT are very close, touching, one where he's got his arm round my shoulders) and is trying to infer I'm doing something wrong. I'm not. And if I was, would I really do it in my local park? I know everyone in the park because I walk the dog there, I go for coffee at the cafe regularly with friends and I do PT in there. Not exactly the most discreet place for a quick bunk-up.

I plan to stay the fuck out of it, to let DP talk to Jon, to stay dignified, stay quiet. If I contact Jon, he'll read my anger as guilt. I will do. This is the right thing to do isn't it?

Thanks for reading, I just really to let off steam.

While OP does not deserve to be stalked by this weirdo wanker Jon under any circumstances, I do wonder if her tedious 'my perfect, part-time model, beautiful, hands-on PT who I love soo soo soo much... BUT NOT LIKE THAT' bollocks has been picked up on by jealous Jon and has created a bit of an open goal?

I agree.

It’s all very odd.

So creepy guy takes photos of you in your exercise gear and sends them your husband.

Creepy guy is a bit odd.

Were the pictures of the training or are you generally friendly and he gave you a hug or put his arm around you? Nothing wrong with the latter but could obviously be misconstrued. I’m struggling to think of an adjustment or whatever that would look like arm around the shoulder.

Jon is some CF thinking he has ANY right to have ANY opinion on your past.

I am livid for you!

I do think it reflects very poorly on your partner that he has any contact with someone who is so obviously hostile towards you.

I think you need to reflect on his disloyalty.

I would report him to 101 and say that you find him creepy as fxxk and ask would they call to his place of work and warn him off.

I wouldn't be tolerating this at all.

Who the hell does he think he is?

You deserve better than that disloyal partner of yours.

Possibly:

1. Jon has a crush on DP (trying to prove to DP you’re not good for him and you say he struck you as gay when you met him)
2. DP has a crush on PT (‘running joke between DP & me that PT is the perfect man)
3. DP should immediately dump Jon
4. If DP says or suggests anything untoward concerning Jon or PT, dump him
5. Is your PT also gay?
6. Wild triangle with Jon, DP, and PT. Just saying!

He clearly doesn’t like you, has moved near you, was in the same park and took the pics and sent them to your DP asking if he’s happy with you behaving like that all sounds quite sinister. Not at all looking out for his friend, more incel type.

Jon is stalking you just so you know. And DP thinks it’s funny. Very strange.

Batshit! He sounds like Iago from Othello. Before you know it he’ll be planting a hankie in your PT’s bedroom.

Gosh OP, that’s REALLY creepy. It’s not normal behaviour and I’d be concerned about how this is going to progress.

I don’t think you can rule out that Jon hasn’t been stalking you, whether himself or through a third party is less clear.

And there are some markers of obsessive behaviour eg whether you’ll cheat and moving to where you live.

Jon has a problem with women and is crossing all sorts of boundaries.

Im worried about this OP. I think it’s time to carefully let Jon go. I’m not sure how you most safely go about this. Perhaps the National Stalking Helpline can help.

www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

Good luck OP. x

John fancies you and is pissed off that you're with his mate.

I wonder if Jon hates you because despite your "reputation" as putting it about a bit (didnt we all?!) you never slept with him. So he is jealous the fact that (in his head) everyone got to have sex with you expect him.

Oh for goodness sake. It doesn't sound vaguely like Jon fancies the OP. Such weird clutching at straws!

OP, get your DP to mention that you will involve the police if you have any more reason to think he is stalking you.

Blimey. Jon sounds like an incel. Might not be personal to you, maybe women in general? Glad your DP is so trusting and supportive, sounds like Jon thought he found something and tried to recruit your DP into his little hatred gang 😂 pity that’s backfired Jon!

Who cares why he did it? There's no single chance it was innocent. The wording of Jon's message itself was off.

Bottom line is OP's DP needs to make very clear it's unacceptable and anything similar will result in the police being involved. And he wants nothing more to do with a man who spies on his partner.

Sorry OP that you were spied on when training. That's shit, creepy and maybe a bit scary. Glad you have a great trainer and bonus that you get on well with him (model looks or not).

He's obviously not a very happy person and definitely into your DH.

I agree, I find it very strange that DP is friend with this stalking creep and shrugs off the photo op or finds it funny. Alarm bells ringing.

Awesome!

and one for the PT to wear as well….

What a creepy weirdo. I would message him yourself, don’t leave it to your partner, to tell him how strange his behaviour is and that he has overstepped the mark.

Can I have PTs details please?

Your partner is a keeper and sounds delightful, well done.
Jon is an a.h and probably envious of your relationship - I guess your partner will see it for himself and create distance

Your past is none of Jon’s business and DP needs to know how and why Jon came to be “around” when you were training.

(mind you it must be a “John” thing as my former bil John had a similar attitude towards me and although he didn’t know me at the time, earlier I shared a house with two gals from school so I suspect some stories were told as to the comings and goings of the house and dumped it on it being me.. ). I ended up divorcing his brother but that was for other reasons. ..

did you walk or drive to the park? Any chance a tracker has been placed on your car? Does Jon know of your other weekly movements? I have a feeling this won’t be the last time he will be “seeing” you about.

while it’s nice to think he might be looking out for his mate, I think DP needs to start distancing himself from the friendship. The move and taking your photo in what appears to be a compromising position (albeit in public locally) raises a couple of red flags…

That is creepy he has stood their taking pictures of you during a class, even though it is in a park and public then sent them on to your DP I doubt that is legal. Get DP to stop contact or report him to the police.

Is Jon in love with your husband?

Jon is engaging in stalking behaviour .. I think you should report him to the police. I would be worried about it accelerating.

He thinks this because I was dating someone else when me and DP got together and because I slept around and partied a lot when I was younger.

I was in my late teens/early 20s when I was cheating, many years ago and not a behaviour I'd engage in these days.

Sorry haven't RTFT but wanted to ask:

So you were cheating on someone else when you got together with DP? Also, did DP know this when you got together with him? Or was he only told afterwards and there was a bit of an emotional fallout which Jon had to be in?

and/or

Did you ever cheat on your DP after that?

and/or

If not DP, did Jon also know the person/any of the people you cheated on?

I've been in exactly Jon's position before... Comforted a friend through her boyfriend cheating horribly on her, it was a really turbulent time and she moved into my house for a bit, he/they made amends though I was screaming internally that this wasn't a good idea. Have always been on high alert about this cheater.

Years later saw boyfriend behaving kind of intimately with someone, snapped a picture, turned out to be his cousin. I was/am really embarrassed by the overstep, was told off, and her boyfriend (now husband) was so justifiably annoyed with me. He also speaks quite glibly to gloss over his cheating as youthful indiscretions/misadventures, which I have thoughts on, but which I now keep to myself.

This.