Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Just checking in! Good to be hearing some encouraging stories from Beep and Molly.

I've picked myself up after the let down and decided I need to be a bit more proactive so I've got several chats on the go.... one, is intellectually and interest wise very aligned but I'm just not feeling it looks wise... he's keen to meet but I'm just not sure it's worth it.

Two, is considerably younger than me but hot and funny, has a very nice voice but I'm not sure how much we have in common. He's keen to meet for a drink.

Third, is Scottish (I have a real thing for Scottish men) but not local at all and just visiting so bit of a dead end.... but that accent!

Molly if you got proper Fanny gallops you are in for a treat. I think whatever works for you Molly. Tell me about MrP…kids too? How do you work around kids issue for the bonkathon ?

Don’t take it personally Deffy…guy is multi dating and he’s looking at his options. To me that shows the lightning bolt is not there. Move on please. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break either. I’m totally hooked on the thread and that’s my dating bit done 😝. Not seeing Mr Ex till February but I needed to travel and do stuff too so just messaging is enough.

I’d say ditch the one you don’t really fancy…no matter how articulate and nice if he doesn’t make you swoon I would keep checking guys
You are under no obligation to meet anyone, remember this. No matter how insistent he is.
Scottish guy sounds fun…you never know…distance can be an incentive

@Boleynforsoup this was for you

Definitelycross

so he’s chatting away and then when you ask about actual date he disappears , goes quiet

FFS 🤦‍♀️

some people want texting only and some have others on the go

got a date with very very very young man tomorrow
IF he doesn’t chicken out

literally for the craic and potential FWB
he’s been asking me out for a year that’s the only reason I’m bothering

Worsy !!!😈…full gossip expected

Yep. He suggested the date for tonight. Chatting away to him, even last night when he was out then nothing.

I just don't get it. It's so bloody rude.

I'm under no illusions that he's talking to others, as am I, but it doesn't take long to just say. No sorry somethings come up.

But I know I'm in the minority that thinks ghosting is beyond rude.

Yeah that’s not ghosting even
thats rude and ignoring !!!

poor manners

That’s not ghosting. That’s not having word. You had a arranged a date. The normal thing is to say “ I want to cancel it for x y z reason “ as you had already met. That’s shoddy behaviour

I’m just marking place, so I don’t lose you all. Lots of potential irons in the fire. I favoured a scatter gun approach and ended up with MrPottery. I’m certain I’d already swiped left on him (for the beard, probably. I can’t remember, but I’d definitely seen him before). But at the time, I needed the distraction and had the free time, so went ahead. Only you know what a good use of your time is.

I’m spending the afternoon at MrPottery’s place tomorrow. I wonder what we’ll find to do to amuse ourselves?! 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, I didn’t send him nudes. I mentioned it, and he said don’t - that he’d love them, of course, and wouldn’t dream of misusing them, but if you get comfortable with sending them to great guys, you might be comfortable sending them to lesser ones. Better to keep your standards up and he’d happily wait for the real deal. What’s the opposite of toxic?!

I had a great night with MrP last night! We went to the cinema and then back to his to DTD. The sex was amazing! I am really achy this morning.

We did use protection but, how is the best way to get checked out before you stop using condoms?

Gosh it’s a sexual end to late January 2023
im jealous

yes the aching limbs the day after
SOB 😭

molly you can get std tests from boots and Superdrug online

Oh Molly 😈😈😈. If sex was amazing this is the best start ever. I’m a great believer on best sex ever , specially as you start liking someone a lot . If sex is not good… it’s wrong really… enjoy a lot a keep us posted. When are you seeing him again and how are you both dealing with kids situation?

I think I’m saying hello. God knows what I’m doing as I’m utterly undateable and I find it impossible to follow the rules about when you should and shouldn’t make contact, when you are allowed to DTD etc. Either there’s a connection or there isn’t. I’m tired of pretending to be someone else to fit in when dating.

Well done Garysmum… you do as you please and feel comfortable with. The rules are there for helping and giving perspective I think. Everyone does their thing really

You are not undateable!!! We all feel like that at times. Don’t worry

Checking in….again

Just perused the dating apps it seems nothing has changed

Patience… 🙄…hopefully a few good irons or at least one worth the effort

Mmmm… I think that things have changed with MrP…!! After our date last night and DTD, we have planned to go out for dinner on Tuesday. However, today the txting has become less frequent and pretty tame. He hasn’t mentioned anything about last night. I think that I over invested too soon and should have waited… again!!!

I came off the OLD apps a few days ago as I wanted a break from it and I knows this. When I last checked, he was still on Bumble…

Oh well, you live and learn…

Mollymolloy

there is a reasonable chance he is retreating after intimacy
seen this and my friends have had it
it’s very annoying

rather than ghosting

keep the faith but do keep yourself occupied and 😬

Maybe reactive that profile 😁

Thanks, @Thisisworsethananticpated . Really, really feel stupid!!

He seemed genuine enough.

I’m sorry Molly…maybe he was looking for a hook up and nothing more serious. I found it weird he wanted you to come to his on a second date… Move on please. If last night was important for him you should know by now. A change in comma only means one thing…he’s not so into you