Dating Thread 238 - Sex, Beer and Sausage Rolls (for the lucky ones!)

[OnceRuralNowUrbanbliss]

Hi All welcome to a shiny new thread as we proceed into 2023 with support for those riding the rollercoasters of the world of dating.

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Good luck @Neonbug … hope all goes well!

Thanks both! It actually went really well (surprisingly!). Felt like I was chattering away like a crazy person I was that nervous 😂

First time commenting on this thread here. Been trying to think of a nickname for my date haha….think I’m going to go with mr coffee as it was my first coffee date.
All the dates I’ve been on have involved nights out/alcohol, so when this guy popped up and suggested coffee date on week night I was so nervous! Mainly becuase I had no Dutch courage and it was so different. Anyway he was texting me loads before date, then when we met he was super shy and nervous. Then he text me after it saying he really enjoyed himself and already looking forward to date no.2. He is not my normal type as he seems genuinely nice, and that’s not a type I normally attract!

He is always super busy and we may be going out on Friday for date 2 he’s just trying to sort childcare, but the texts have become less and less. Partly, I am rubbish at replying, but it seems like it’s just me making the effort at the moment! It seems to be when I take a while to text back then he will.

As a general rule how much texting do you do in between dates?

Thank you!! 😊

Had a lovely day with MrBike today, together over twelve hours and could have stayed longer. He thanked me numerous times for an amazing day 😊 And said it's been an amazing "nearly" month! Think we're doing good! 😁 Am in seventh heaven! I'll see him tomorrow for a couple of hours, then he's back to work and I go away for just under a week 😬

@beepbeepme it sounds like you are having a great time, I’m totally jealous and living vicariously through your updates!

@Mollymolloy the second guessing things really resonates with me. I over analyse everything, but I think the old adage rings true here - you deserve someone that is really into you, and if he was really into you then you would know and wouldn’t need to second guess. Trust your instincts

ive been off the apps for a couple of weeks with life stuff getting in the way but I’m back swiping. My only match was someone I swiped right on by accident 😭but holding firm to my standards and remaining picky (but that might change if no matches continues!)

Thanks @Mollymolloy . I can't believe I've been so lucky that we found each other really. Planning a night or two away soon in a nice hotel 😊 We were talking about a bucket list today, lots of things we'd both like to do.

Beepbeep…next it will be family and friends I think… at some point. You are totally close now and all your free time is shared. I think you told me he’s got older kids and you do too? Being empty nester and filling up bucket list with a partner is the most romantic thing EVER. Very jealous !

Yes, no children at home, freedom! 😊 I'm in no rush with friends and family now, I feel much more secure about things.

MrP txted this morning to ask how I was. Apparently, he is in agony with sciatica. He did say that he has his son for a couple of days, which he had mentioned before.

He didn’t suggest meeting up again or didn’t make any reference to our conversation yesterday. I suspect that I am just being ‘kept on the back burner’..

At least I know now…

Indeed. Back burner. If he finds better he will move on. You know how this goes. Don’t worry Molly, someone better always comes along when this isn’t right

Mollymolloy

id say definitely a ‘match energy’ scenario here
he’ll be back for a round two mark my words

I suspect he likes you just fine
but he could be an emotional avoidant one
which is a total pain IF you like them

@Mollymolloy so sorry you are going through this -I completely understand the uncertainty-I has so much of this with Mr Serb and only this thread keep me sane.

Awake at 4am and fretting about hassles with my stbxh but…..
Mr Serb has finally been trained to text me for no reason 🤣 it having all been transactional and sparse. We have fantastic fun together but between dates he has never been communicative. I told him last weekend how delighted I had been when the previous weekend when we had been un able to meet he actually texted to ask how I was. I told him that I feel insecure when we don’t have a date lined up and how lovely it has been to know he was thinking of me. So yesterday morning again I got a text saying he hoped my week was going ok.I know that to everyone else on here that is a pathetic thing to be delighted about but it is a massive breakthrough with him because although he clearly does enjoy being with me, and we do see a lot of each other and share hobbies and lots of mutual friends, the silence between actual meetings does dishearten me.
He then messaged me in the evening to arrange a date on Friday /so am just so happy. Of course I should have told him ages ago that I feel insecure with lack of communication rather than trying to be ‘cool’ about it. It seems that now he knows what I need, he is doing it 😁😁
Interestingly we did actually have a big row on Friday night but made up on Saturday. We have had maybe three of those over the 18 months we have been seeing each other and each time it seems to have led to a closer relationship. I think he realises that we can argue but it does not mean we are breaking up and that perhaps makes him feel more secure about my feelings for him.

Jangolina…totally agree with you. I used to get really worried about not getting message but we need to understand where the guy is at. They might be stressed silly or simply are like this…quieter. I think you and Serb are just FINE…we all quarrel…it would be weird if we didn’t.
The really worrying thing is stbxh…focus on this because it can affect your life and give you lots of hassle

I won't see MrBike for ten days now, as I'm visiting family. He said he'll miss me, but will phone me. I'm surprised that I actually feel secure enough to deal with it now.

That is absolutely brilliant. I’m a away too and will not see Mr Ex until early ish Feb. We have a life and family and need to compromise too

Hello! I just found this thread and hope you don’t mind me popping in?
I’ve just started OLD via Facebook after marriage ended 6 months ago. It’s weird as not dated for over 20yrs 😂

Have met MrC twice now, he’s lovely, easy to talk to but not my usual type, am off to his at the weekend am very nervous about it all still

Also chatting to MrB and have a call planned tonight- he seems nice and we are texting- but has relatively young kids so not sure about that one as mine are adults!

You've been dating him for less than 2 months if I recall. It would be very worrying if you're insecure about not seeing him for 10 days. I'm all for enjoying the heady first few weeks of infatuation, but you had a life (and so did he) before you met.

Just caught up, as everyone said, he is not interested( enough).
I wouldn't bother with this one.

@Myfabby It's fine. If you read my other messages, you'll know I've been feeling a little insecure, partly due to past experiences, partly because we clicked immediately and I felt a lot for him straight away. We've been spending a lot of time together.

@jangolinapitt - there is nothing quite like that ramdon "how are you " message. I'm so pleased he's stepped up to the plate.

@Dhama We're in a similar position then. It's a steep leaning curve! Have fun and try to not overthink if possible. And know your worth!

@beepbeepme What you have with Mr Bike sounds wonderful and I think the break will do you both good.

@Mila14 Love reading your comments - always such good insights.

@Mollymolloy There'll be a better one than MrP around the corner.

I saw Mr Clever again yesterday. Date 1 was only last Sunday. Now a few days break thankfully - my hobby and then kids. We both know what next time entails (and I can't wait! 😜). My only worry is that he seems very keen (and fairly serious) and I'm not sure yet (it's going too fast for me for a starter) and I don't want to be like the ejits I've come across. First I was thinking that I'd wait for him to bring things up but I'm not sure that's fair on him. Or? Not that others have considered me in this way. But I don't want to be like them! Advice, please you knowledgeable people. 🙏

Welcome…no rush for you. You are very recent out of your marriage. Enjoy your dates and no pressure

Profile created... so many messages for days and days. I'd much rather have a call /coffee - is it acceptable to suggest it?
(I'm not getting any vibes at all, which might be because I met someone out of the blue, but I don't have the courage to ask on a date. )