Husband attacked me last night handhold

[Sleeplessem]

We had an argument about our 1 year olds sleep, he’s been up screaming for weeks, husband wants to do CIO but it doesn’t work, too afraid to go against him ive caved for 30 mins but it doesn’t work and I’m on the verge of tears.

last night I said this to him and it prompted a row, he blamed me for wanting to work on sleep, I did and I bought a gentle sleep package but he wouldn’t do it, he then called me a rat and pathetic so I flicked some water from our en suite at him, he flipped jumped up and grabbed me by the throat and pinned me down on the bed, this happened several times. I don’t even recall why. I’m not sure if he punched me in the face, I think so but I can’t remember. He won’t leave, i begged and pleaded but he won’t, my hesitation about the police is their general incompetence in this area and the fall out job wise for him which would affect his ability to pay for his kids. I threatened to call the police and it may come to that but he just won’t leave, I have no where to go. I’m due to start a new job Monday I can’t, I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose the job or I lose my income, I can’t go to a refuge on my first day with my kids. I just can’t think

OP did you know there's a distinct correlation between women strangled and women murdered? You have no choice but to go to the police. Think about this- your husband kills you and the children end up in care. Now- do anything and everything in your power to avoid that situation. Call the police.

Hubby is snr in the same company and I’ll have no childcare, I can’t afford nursery for 2. My head is just spinning.

why the fuck is this my life? God child abuse never leaves does it. It’s the reason I chose this man, didn’t even know what abuse was.

i call 101 right? It’s not a blue light emergency?

Hubby is snr in the same company and I’ll have no childcare,

Then you can't take this job anyway. You need to distance from him, it's likely you'll need a restraining order. Not practical in the same workplace. Lots of single parents afford nursery for 2 dc. If you're below a certain income you'll get help with that from UC

If he is in the house and you are scared then yes, it's 999. If you're safe right now then 101. You're so strong- do it.

And by the sounds of it I'd say 999 is more appropriate. He could get angry again at any time

Handhold

You're right that abuse is cycles.

Both victims and perpetrators.

But you need to get him out and police can support this.

There are things you can do on the future like the freedom programme but right now you need to make you and your children safe.

You won't need a job if he kills you or severely disables you through violence.

You can tell the job you've been a victim or assault and ask to push back your start date.

I know it's scary and finances are a worry but are they really a bigger worry than what he'll do next to you?

Hubby is snr in the same company

This is interesting. Did he encourage your application to his workplace where he would be 'above' you?

Honestly this job is the least important thing right now. It's easy to lose sight when you are so overwhelmed but focus on you and your children being safe. The money? It will work itself out in time. The job? There are other opportunities out there when you are settled.

Please don't be a statistic.

He’s asleep upstairs so I’m safe right now, I’m on hold to 101

Absolutely the right thing to do, calling the Police.

Don't worry about work etc for now. Number one priority right now is safety.

I would really try and keep to your new job start date. Keep that one stable thing in your life.

Report him to the please 100%
You can do this.

Your children will thank you and look up to you.

Please start getting some important stuff together.
I know how hard this is I suffered DV 25 years ago and ended up losing my eye because I didn't get out quick enough.

Let us know what 101 say.

Her husband is her senior in this job. I'd run a million miles from it!

Well done you.

Have you read the update? The husband is a senior in the company. This job is the very last thing OP needs. Even if it wasn't, bad advice to tell an woman trying to escape domestic violence that her Monday morning job is a key factor. It's not.

This is the biggest test as a dm op.. Putting your own fears aside to keep them safe.. You can do this.

You say your mother abused you. Do you want this to happen to your children too? If you don't have strength to protect yourself (which I 100% understand), do it for your children.
I understand you don't want to loose job but your children and your children safety is the priority.
Be brave. You can do it!
Sending a virtual hug!

Just read your dh would be your senior at work too. Forget about it. You will be abused at home and at work.

Yes agree that the job is not viable now anyway.

In the new job? Oh fuck that then. Sorry I missed that

Get yourself and your children safe OP, worry about everything else later on. Now he's done it once, he will do it again.

I wouldnt be leaving the children unattended with him either. Please call women's aid today too. Do you have no friends at all you can confide in? I would take my friends in in a heartbeat if they were in this situation.

This is not the job for you
Better separate on benefits for now
Tell his work
Tell everyone
Get photos taken
Get help and leave

OP when I was in the same situation I gave up my very well paid job to support my child, go into a refuge and sort out the divorce. I needed legal aid and wouldn't get it on my salary.
Forget about the new job, forget about your husband getting into trouble.
The thing that matters most is getting the hell out of there.
I stayed off work until the decree nisi came through then went back to work.
You will be no good to your kids if you are DEAD. Think that over.
Call the police, get him removed, and if you can't do that get yourself into a refuge.
I'd be dead by now if I hadn't acted, he's have been in prison and DS would be in care.

Incidentally cry it out is NOT leaving them to scream for hours. Its leaving them for 15-20 mins max. He wants to abuse your baby as well as you.