Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Should I message?

384 replies

AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 10:21

Years ago, while backpacking, I met a man who I instantly clicked with and we had a whirlwind 7 days of the most amazing sex I have ever had. We both had separate flights and we agreed to meet back in UK. He wrote his name and number in a book (this predates mobiles and Facebook) which I then lost.

A few weeks ago, while reading the news online, I instantly recognised his face, name the same… he has just taken a high profile job in my region. I immediately felt that tinge of excitement, looked him up, he’s on LinkedIn but nothing obvious anywhere else so no idea if he’s single or anything.

Am I being ridiculous to think about messaging? He probably a) wont remember me b) is married or unavailable. I am single again and keep drafting messages but unsure exactly what to say. Should I message or just leave it in the past?

OP posts:
Palmfrond · 03/01/2023 14:08

@WouldHAVEnotwouldOF As you say, not important here on this otherwise exciting thread, but you are wrong: loose is also a verb, which, given your username, you really should be pedantic enough to know. Whether or not it was being used as a verb is irrelevant. Pedantry is a game of points.

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 14:11

AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 12:13

Thanks @strawberriesplease. It’s the questions about my background that are the most weird. As if no one from a minority background has ever rebelled against their parents’ wishes.

I was only intrigued insofar as you were strong enough to go travelling alone as a very young woman decades ago against your parents wishes
But then was anxious about him calling.

that was the only reason I asked. Squat all to do with not believe if yours rebel 😐

newfence · 03/01/2023 14:24

How exciting! I would have also sent a message, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. Nothing to lose OP!

fourplusfour · 03/01/2023 14:28

Glad you've messaged him. Another one who thinks you don't have anything to lose. Let us know if he gets back to you.

NightOwlNotEarlyBird · 03/01/2023 14:48

That's brilliant, excited for updates!

Original poster
AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 14:59

Thanks everybody, I will share updates if and when I get a response

OP posts:
wheredotheygo · 03/01/2023 15:02

So glad you messaged him! Following keenly!

WouldHAVEnotwouldOF · 03/01/2023 15:04

Palmfrond · 03/01/2023 14:08

@WouldHAVEnotwouldOF As you say, not important here on this otherwise exciting thread, but you are wrong: loose is also a verb, which, given your username, you really should be pedantic enough to know. Whether or not it was being used as a verb is irrelevant. Pedantry is a game of points.

Ah. I thought we were being nice, but I see I have angered a fellow - albeit shy - pedant. I hope you haven't loosed the hounds on me! I will assume the owner of 'loosing it all' was using the "to loose" verb in their username, and the post use of 'nothing to loose' was meant in the old school sense and she meant 'everything is all nice and tight and ready for you to cause waves' or something similar, rather than what I assumed, was the more modern and idiomatic sense of 'what's the worst that could happen?' How silly of me...though I actually think I like that more...😉If I haven't helped the poster understand the more current usage, at least I know I've made you smile - it was fun reading the examples of 'to loose' and I know you enjoyed it too.

But you're wrong about it being a game of points, and this does make me sad (genuinely, though you probably won't take it as genuine because it's MN and everyone assumes the worst possibly interpretation). My whole career is built on correcting English and helping people express themselves as clearly as they want to. Most people want help, when it's given with a genuine and kind intent. I've spent years helping people love their voices through gaining clarity with English. It's not always about points, it can be about saying what you mean to say.

But I hear you. This was the wrong forum. I apologise. Nowt else I can do.

WhatDoYouWantNow · 03/01/2023 15:06

caravanbuckie · 03/01/2023 10:35

I would leave it. It's in your far distant past and you have great memories of that week. Don't risk spoiling that now.

this

Pickledprune · 03/01/2023 15:30

Good luck!! Following xx

pocketvenuss · 03/01/2023 15:40

I find it bizarre that some people are saying 'ooooo no. You might be disappointed'. Jeez, what safe boring little lives some pork old choose to live.

Sunnytwobridges · 03/01/2023 15:45

I'm glad you went for it! If I found out my "one that got away" was single I would definitely do it.

DiaryofWimpyMumm · 03/01/2023 16:13

Glad you've messaged him keep us updated!!

Wfhandbored · 03/01/2023 21:33

Any update OP??

Zanatdy · 03/01/2023 21:40

Hell yes I’d have messaged too. What’s the worse that can happen? Following with keen interest

Alcemeg · 03/01/2023 21:44

Hopefully OP will be waaaaaaaay too busy to reply for a while, as they will have so much "catching up" to do 😉 🥳 💕

ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 03/01/2023 21:45

Intrigued!! Following!

Daisy4569 · 03/01/2023 21:59

Hope it all works out!

Bertha21 · 03/01/2023 22:01

I would message. Keep it friendly and short. It will save you wondering. You may meet up and decide he is completely not how you remember but then you will know …

byebye2022 · 03/01/2023 22:08

I really hope he replies soon

choochooandspook · 03/01/2023 22:09

Good luck, let us know if he replies

Haggisfish3 · 03/01/2023 22:12

Im Glad you messaged, too. Life is too short not to take the odd risk here and there! Fingers crossed for a positive reply.

Rabbitsandhabits · 03/01/2023 22:14

Ooh how exciting I feel invested now!
I would have definitely messaged and I’m so badly hoping for you that he’s single and lovely!

MummyofTw0 · 03/01/2023 22:24

Following with intrigue

Honeyroar · 03/01/2023 22:30

Ooh exciting! I’d have messaged too. I’d have just said I’d seen the news online and recognised him. And that I wanted to say sorry that I’d never been in touch, and I’d explain that my bag had been stolen and I’d always felt awful for probably seeming like I ghosted him. Then I’d say anyway I just wanted to say hello and good luck in his new role.
(then there’s no obligation to reply and it doesn’t sound like you’re hitting on him if he is attached!)