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Original poster

Should I message?

384 replies

AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 10:21

Years ago, while backpacking, I met a man who I instantly clicked with and we had a whirlwind 7 days of the most amazing sex I have ever had. We both had separate flights and we agreed to meet back in UK. He wrote his name and number in a book (this predates mobiles and Facebook) which I then lost.

A few weeks ago, while reading the news online, I instantly recognised his face, name the same… he has just taken a high profile job in my region. I immediately felt that tinge of excitement, looked him up, he’s on LinkedIn but nothing obvious anywhere else so no idea if he’s single or anything.

Am I being ridiculous to think about messaging? He probably a) wont remember me b) is married or unavailable. I am single again and keep drafting messages but unsure exactly what to say. Should I message or just leave it in the past?

OP posts:
Ihatethenewlook · 03/01/2023 11:08

It would be fun just to talk to him again and see if he remembers you imo. I think people are reading too much into this

Original poster
AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 11:11

SwedishEdith · 03/01/2023 11:00

Why didn't he have your details? I may message but it would need to be the lightest, breeziest, shortest message. No mention of the stolen notebook. And prepare yourself for no reply or a short one going nowhere.

He didn’t have mine as I was 21, just finished Uni and was going back to my religiously conservative parents who were wanting to arrange my marriage . I went travelling to runaway from that life as it was the opposite of what I wanted. At that time having a man call would have still been very awkward for me so we agreed I would call/write to him.

OP posts:
horriblechristmas2022 · 03/01/2023 11:17

I mean this sounds like the start of a book

Please keep us updated

RogueV · 03/01/2023 11:21

You absolutely should message!

Keep us updated OP!

Original poster
AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 11:22

horriblechristmas2022 · 03/01/2023 11:17

I mean this sounds like the start of a book

Please keep us updated

I will. A nice light message saying essentially he may not remember we crossed paths a long time ago and congratulations on new job has been sent

OP posts:
ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:23

What’s your situation op? Children?

Original poster
AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 11:24

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:23

What’s your situation op? Children?

Divorced, one child at uni.

OP posts:
ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:29

And happy, friends, job etc

ie not looking for anything as a prior and won’t be bothered if he doesn’t reply?

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:30

Did you come home to an arranged marriage set up for you?

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:32

AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 11:11

He didn’t have mine as I was 21, just finished Uni and was going back to my religiously conservative parents who were wanting to arrange my marriage . I went travelling to runaway from that life as it was the opposite of what I wanted. At that time having a man call would have still been very awkward for me so we agreed I would call/write to him.

Show quote history

And yet they were ok with you backpacking on the other side of the world, 25/30 odd years ago?

Sugaspunsista · 03/01/2023 11:35

Someone I knew 25 years ago messaged me in fb
We chatted on and off for a couple of years then meet up... got together and it's now been 18 months :)

You have nothing to lose is not like you are messaging him with a marriage proposal !!

Original poster
AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 11:39

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:29

And happy, friends, job etc

ie not looking for anything as a prior and won’t be bothered if he doesn’t reply?

Yes, lots of friends, a good social
life; have a senior role so financially secure. I won’t be upset if he doesn’t reply but would like it if he did I suppose to validate my feelings that this was a significant relationship despite being short. Whatever happens it can’t take away the experience of liberation that I personally felt; I suppose it would be nice that it some impact on him too

OP posts:
WavingCatpaw · 03/01/2023 11:40

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:32

And yet they were ok with you backpacking on the other side of the world, 25/30 odd years ago?

Show quote history

And? Why do you need to know this?

Good luck OP!

ImBlueDab · 03/01/2023 11:44

Message him, you obviously want to, what's the worst that could happen, he's married or he doesn't respond.

Keep it light and airy Hi X, imagine my surprise when I saw you pop up on LinkedIn. Apologies for the late message, a whole 12 years 😁 but I lost the book, you wrote your number in, I fully intended to ring you. Anyway how are you?

Original poster
AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 11:45

ridiculoso82 · 03/01/2023 11:32

And yet they were ok with you backpacking on the other side of the world, 25/30 odd years ago?

Show quote history

25 years ago, and no they weren’t. They also didn’t want me to go to Uni away from my home. I was an adult and determined to live my own life and my relationship with my parents was awful as a result. I refuse(d) to live a stereotypical life that is often associated with my cultural background. Anything else you would like to know about?

OP posts:
Wakk · 03/01/2023 11:48

I hope he replies!

Iwantamarshmallowman · 03/01/2023 11:50

horriblechristmas2022 · 03/01/2023 11:17

I mean this sounds like the start of a book

Please keep us updated

this is the exact plot of a book I read recently.

W0tnow · 03/01/2023 11:50

Message him. Tell him the truth; your bag was stolen, you recognised his picture, and wanted to reach out 🤷‍♀️. What do you have to lose?

Original poster
AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 11:53

Iwantamarshmallowman · 03/01/2023 11:50

this is the exact plot of a book I read recently.

Show quote history

Life and art often imitate each other. What was the book, I might want to read it for tips

OP posts:
Mumofnarnia · 03/01/2023 11:53

I don’t think there’s any harm in contacting just to say that you’d seen his face in a news article and recognised him from years ago so you did a search on linkedin and just wanted to see how he’s doing. Just don’t make it obvious that you’re really exited about it or build your hopes up about it leading anywhere as he will May or may not remember you and will most likely be married now.

TheDuchessOfMN · 03/01/2023 11:56

Good for you, OP. You’ve nothing at all to lose. Keep us updated!

Urgi · 03/01/2023 11:57

Go OP! Definitely let us know what happens!

mommatoone · 03/01/2023 11:57

Go for it OP. Life is too short. Good luck x

Whoknew42 · 03/01/2023 11:59

How exciting, go for it OP!

boredOf · 03/01/2023 12:01

Yippee 🙌