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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I message?

384 replies

AbiVenete · 03/01/2023 10:21

Years ago, while backpacking, I met a man who I instantly clicked with and we had a whirlwind 7 days of the most amazing sex I have ever had. We both had separate flights and we agreed to meet back in UK. He wrote his name and number in a book (this predates mobiles and Facebook) which I then lost.

A few weeks ago, while reading the news online, I instantly recognised his face, name the same… he has just taken a high profile job in my region. I immediately felt that tinge of excitement, looked him up, he’s on LinkedIn but nothing obvious anywhere else so no idea if he’s single or anything.

Am I being ridiculous to think about messaging? He probably a) wont remember me b) is married or unavailable. I am single again and keep drafting messages but unsure exactly what to say. Should I message or just leave it in the past?

OP posts:
ZaphodDent · 06/01/2023 11:47

I think most people were just suggesting it would be better to know his relationship status before seeing him. Sounds like it could be fun! Enjoy!

girlmom21 · 06/01/2023 11:48

The divorce is great news (in the nicest way!).
Have a nice time OP.

Bepis · 06/01/2023 11:49

GoodNightsSleep · 06/01/2023 11:07

Keep the location secret otherwise you’ll find all the surrounding tables occupied by MNers hanging on every word. 😉

😂😂🤣🤣

OldFan · 06/01/2023 12:12

Most people's divorces take a while so he might've been split from his ex wife for some time prior to then. I know they've made a quickie divorce easier but most people still seem to take a while to get it.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 06/01/2023 13:15

Hope you have a fun time, OP. Your outfit sounds nice.

GimmeBiscuits · 06/01/2023 13:23

BFR · 05/01/2023 17:36

The reason he hasn't mentioned his marital status is the same reason the OP hasn't asked him.

Neither want to know!

Wonder if he's told his wife he's meeting an old flame?

If you caught up with an old non-romantic friend online, would it not be one of the first things you ask? Do have kids? Are you settled?

In all of my 50 something years, I have never kicked off a conversation with anyone about their marital status.

They're meeting for a drink. They're not going to an orgy.

Cece92 · 06/01/2023 13:58

I think it's great! Hope you have a good evening xx

blitzen · 06/01/2023 14:35

Love this thread, OP! Have a wonderful evening xx

pocketvenuss · 06/01/2023 15:23

It sounds to me like he is just as curious as you are. I hope you have a lovely evening and if nothing else, that you enjoy a walk down memory lane. At best you may have a new friend/potential relationship

HooDooManc · 06/01/2023 15:25

The romantic in me remains hopeful. I had a teenage love. We lost touch and had our own lives and families. 25 years later we both found ourselves divorced and back in touch and had a wonderful fling for a few months getting to know each other again. We both knew we weren't compatible for a serious long term relationships and are now both in other relationships but we have a very special friendship.

Winniewoooooooo · 06/01/2023 16:07

Good luck. Hope you have a lovely evening

rainbowstardrops · 06/01/2023 16:13

Hope you have a lovely evening catching up!

Blogswife · 06/01/2023 16:32

I really hope it works out for you OP. It did for me . After 25 years , I re- met and married my work colleague - still very happy together.
Im soooo looking forward to your update tomorrow!

Aussiegirl123456 · 06/01/2023 18:24

Shamelessly placemarking for an update later! Good luck OP :-)

Aussiegirl123456 · 06/01/2023 18:24

Blogswife · 06/01/2023 16:32

I really hope it works out for you OP. It did for me . After 25 years , I re- met and married my work colleague - still very happy together.
Im soooo looking forward to your update tomorrow!

That’s so beautiful, love it!

OldFan · 06/01/2023 19:13

In all of my 50 something years, I have never kicked off a conversation with anyone about their marital status.

@GimmeBiscuits It's not a new person, it's an old friend/acquaintance. So the natural thing to do (seeing as how OP already knows about his work) is to ask about relationships, family etc (even if it's in a subtle way.)

But it all sounds promising for OP.

@AbiVenete I caught up with an old acquaintance on FB. There was kind of a flirty undertone. The conversation went on for a fair while before he had to tell me he was getting married in three days! He knew he was wrong not to have told me, he actually said 'Why didn't I tell you before? Because it didn't come up.' Shady.

CocoPopoPops · 06/01/2023 19:48

I'm so excited about this!

GimmeBiscuits · 06/01/2023 20:25

OldFan even so ... I rekindled an acquaintance with someone from primary school, who I hadn't seen in nearly 45 years. The first thing I asked them was not whether or not they were married.
However, I presume that if OP is looking to rekindle something then she will of course, sound things out before going down that avenue.
In the case of meeting for a drink, regardless of a shared past, I can't see that this is essential information.

maryofthevirginkind · 06/01/2023 20:58

I'm excited for you and hope your meeting is going well!

Drainedandconfused8 · 06/01/2023 21:29

Hope it's all going well!

Slimjimtobe · 06/01/2023 21:38

You sound like a grounded and lovely person op. he is lucky to have you (all going well) I really hope you have a great night

Amandasummers · 06/01/2023 21:41

I love this! I wouldn't be able to stop my mind going in the romance novel direction so I'm glad you're more grounded than me lol. I hope it went well op

OldFan · 06/01/2023 21:57

In the case of meeting for a drink, regardless of a shared past, I can't see that this is essential information

No it's not essential to meet, but if he is married and hasn't happened to mention it yet I'd think that a bit shady.

Aussiegirl123456 · 06/01/2023 22:12

OldFan · 06/01/2023 21:57

In the case of meeting for a drink, regardless of a shared past, I can't see that this is essential information

No it's not essential to meet, but if he is married and hasn't happened to mention it yet I'd think that a bit shady.

Well he’s divorced so no problem 😉

throwawayusername2 · 06/01/2023 23:25

Well OP, it's Friday night! How did it go? Enquiring minds want to know...Blush

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