Should I message?

[AbiVenete]

Years ago, while backpacking, I met a man who I instantly clicked with and we had a whirlwind 7 days of the most amazing sex I have ever had. We both had separate flights and we agreed to meet back in UK. He wrote his name and number in a book (this predates mobiles and Facebook) which I then lost.

A few weeks ago, while reading the news online, I instantly recognised his face, name the same… he has just taken a high profile job in my region. I immediately felt that tinge of excitement, looked him up, he’s on LinkedIn but nothing obvious anywhere else so no idea if he’s single or anything.

Am I being ridiculous to think about messaging? He probably a) wont remember me b) is married or unavailable. I am single again and keep drafting messages but unsure exactly what to say. Should I message or just leave it in the past?

An awful lot of assumptions here

Well now I have something to look forward to 😅 can't wait to hear the update from Friday

Good on you OP for not biting to all of these comments that are trying to bait you. I get that all you did was ask if you should message him, that's all. Just one question. And now this. Welcome to the fallout. Have fun tomorrow.

Gosh there are a gazillion possible outcomes for this situation, but rather than catastrophising it all, let's just wait and see if OP comes back with an update.

If they're meeting on Friday I would bet my mortgage they've continued chatting and both do now know each other's romantic situation, which would likely influence how the meeting is approached.

Maybe he's in a relationship, maybe he's not. Maybe they'll still find each other attractive, maybe they won't. It's just a coffee, and there's nothing much wrong with some us enjoying the potential romance of this situation when most likely nothing will come of it!

Peace and love ❤

Hopefully, if he is married, he has spent a miserable Xmas contemplating divorce!

Personally, I'd make sure I dressed like this 😁

I dunno, I reckon those wings will get in the way.

It’s relationships

so anyone with either a
cheating spouse/ OH
or
an abusive spouse / OH

get very engaged and , frankly triggered

Alcemeg
top tip there 😂

Agree: I hope OP hasn’t decided to not update due to the miserable little twats on this thread creating scenarios from next to no
information.

Please don't listen to all the doom-mongers on here, AbiVenete, they must live really miserable lives.

I really wish you all the luck in the World, keep us all updated! ❤

Enjoy tomorrow! Life is about being open, taking risks and chances! You can figure out the rest depending on the outcome of the meeting and the information that you will receive.

Can't wait to hear how tomorrow goes! Is he local then if you're meeting after work?

Place-marking for the Friday update - good luck OP!

I love how this has escalated into the OP heading out to shag a married axe-murderer, rather than the catch up over coffee she had originally planned 😂

😂😂 well put!

The reason he hasn't mentioned his marital status is the same reason the OP hasn't asked him.

Neither want to know!

Wonder if he's told his wife he's meeting an old flame?

If you caught up with an old non-romantic friend online, would it not be one of the first things you ask? Do have kids? Are you settled?

Literally 2-3rd message if messaging, for instance, some battered old school chum. Every time. Job, relationship status, kids, dogs.

No, I don’t think so. It’s a relationship forum board, or whatever they’re called nowadays. Basically open gossip & speculation with strangers about strangers. Sometimes helpful & sympathetic, often not.
Either way, I just cannot see how anyone with an ounce of emotional intelligence can’t see that this is questionable, at best, given the unknown status of the man.

Ah good luck OP. This could be the love story of the decade !

Yeah OP don't listen to the miserable people considering this man you knew for a week 20 years ago might not be who you remember him to be.

I would ask him before meeting him if he's single or not. I would not be happy with my partner meeting up with someone they had been having sex with in the past. If he is single, go ahead. If he's not, I'd tell him it's nice talking to him and not proceed forward with meeting him at all.

So what should she do? Just forget about it all and never find out for certain? What's the worst that can happen? He tells her he's happily married, in which case she can close that chapter in her life and move on. Alternatively, he's single and they pick up where they left off 20 years ago and contacting him again proves to be one of the best things she's ever done. Good grief.

Please refer to my reply to girlmom21. 🤦🏻‍♂️

She’s having a coffee with him, not signing over the deeds to her house.

I’m sure she never considered this possibility and is eternally grateful to you for pointing it out

You can be a normal well adjusted person and still get excited about stuff. Sometimes I dream of a holiday abroad where my DC don’t get the shits, for example

She should just be cautious @ABBA73. She's getting excited and dolled up which is lovely - and may have a happy ending - but it might not.

Why can’t she ask if he’s available before she goes to meet him?